Real England

nowadays i just watch any BBC news show and within 10 minutes they'll have asked the audience to let us know what they think, so i get as many totally unqualified opinions about complicated subjects as i need

"We've got Ron on the line, he's a retired butcher from Heckmondwicke and he's going to tell us what he thinks about the government's strategy on housing"

The decline of the ‘tragic mum / wife / dad’ as a unifying hero figure for the press is kind of interesting.

i guess a few Karen Matthewses put the kibosh on that eventually

at least she put Dewsbury on the map, for some reason we still don't have a tourist information office.

lol ITV filmed that drama about her entirely in Halifax

I think that's part of it but there's a lot going on. People like Frances Lawrence and Paul Betts (though wildly different) were tapped for quotes on all sorts of things for years in a way that sort of positioned them as an avatar for the reader - the normal, sensible person who just happened to have been elevated to prominence by tragedy, which i guess you don't need as much when the readers can speak for themselves. You also had situations like the McCanns where Paper B, C and D got annoyed they were too close to Paper A and worked out there was just as much mileage in hating them as sympathising.

The capacity for a single horrific thing to capture the news cycle / public imagination for weeks at a time has probably diminished too.

The decline of the ‘tragic mum / wife / dad’ as a unifying hero figure for the press is kind of interesting.

― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 17:45 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

i guess a few Karen Matthewses put the kibosh on that eventually

― no ifs, no buts, no scampo nation (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 18 August 2020 17:47 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Between her and the McCannses and the noughties rise in the popularity of crime fiction, all tragic/grieving relatives are treated with a dose of sceptical side eye these days.

what is the Scottish govt's stance on teachers wearing masks?

oh shit wrong thread

there was briefly some interaction between the McCannses industrial military complex and team Karen Matthews, would love to hear the gritty Dewsbury-noir dialogue that went on there that caused the conference to break down!

And the prize for the weirdest thing I’ve seen today goes to... pic.twitter.com/9b1vhmbna6

— Henry (@henweb) August 18, 2020

It's like something Alan Partridge would be saying in one of those daydream sequences in 'I'm Alan Partridge'.

Who doesn't already sing it like that tho

Maguire had been photographed and filmed throughout the day and evening, enjoying the company of his teammates Marcus Rashford and Brandon Williams, as well as the snooker player Judd Trump, and mixing with other tourists, appearing to drink alcohol on occasions.

thought this revive was going to be about the ugly bald sheep farmer/ex-tory/ukip candidate/putative baby killer/tesco briber trial!

lol briber, blackmailer I meant obv.

only heard little bits of the story on the radio, guessing this lad is not the sharpest knife in the drawer

from what I can gather he went flying in with the fists on some cop and then tried to bribe them at the cop shop, lol good job he's white!

Saw this on Facebook yesterday and I would be very happy if someone could explain what is going on here pic.twitter.com/oNrfWXxA9m

— Tits McGee (@Scientits) August 31, 2020

The Bill Oddie thing was that early humour website called b3ta (was it?) and they had a clip of Madonna's Erotica with the words "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, rub your hands all over my body" instead of "Erotic, Erotic (same)". There was something to do with Alf Garnet and Independent Woman, as well but it's not coming back to me.

Oh I remembered it as I hit submit. It was

Shoes on my feet
Alf Garnet
Clothes I'm wearing
Alf Garnet
Rock I'm rocking
Alf Garnet
etc.

"early humour"

As opposed to the modern day's highly evolved online humour.

Ogmios School of Zen Motoring is my favourite thing for a long time. Thanks for that link.

wish every driver was ogmios

I find it very moving.

I try to maintain a suitable state of zen while hoping for a new video.

Still laughing at 'Battle Of Britain Memorial Sausage'.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/131DF/production/_114330387_capture.jpg

A row broke out in an online public meeting when a councillor turned up wearing a large pair of sunglasses. Independent Stephen Aylen said he was sporting the distinctive eyewear to stop screen glare during Thursday's Southend Borough Council meeting.

Mayor John Lamb said although councillors logged on from home, wearing sunglasses was like drinking or smoking, and was disrespectful.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54122362

There's new Ogmios!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo3tSswZV7Q

Saving that for a bad day

There are so many quotable lines "lives to inhale the gas from a NOS balloon another day", "they think they're invincible just because they're from the future"

Ogmios is so great. I could watch that 24/7.

My local Morrison’s is selling actual sacks of wet eggs. This is the most wretched and cursed item I have ever witnessed pic.twitter.com/bghKxOUxXu

— Strumpet (Sexy Trumpet) (@TrumpetSexy) September 16, 2020

something doesn't add up, there's way more than 5 eggs in those bags

They look like those white eggs you see in American movies from my phone

xp thread suggests that they’re leftovers because they couldn’t split them up into the five packs before expiry, so they’re selling the sacks to get rid

Are you sure they aren't boiled eggs (as disgusting an idea that it is) , because they look too white.

Oh yes they are omg!

They are boiled eggs yeah, normally packaged differently as part of a packed lunch. Tbh you could make a batch of egg mayo with them, maybe cater a small gathering oops

Lol why I did I think there would shelled eggs in a bag? I don't rule anything out these days! Christ imagine the smell when you open it.

Relevant

https://youtu.be/9pRxJXlePmY

I only fuck with freshly boiled balls of corruption. That shit is for degen pub landlords to put in their pickle jar and unfit for human consumption.

I love an egg but sports science bros have put me off a bit

If you were to chop them up into a rice stir fry or a curry you probably couldn't tell the difference between them and fresh ones. But it would be the knowing that would make me feel queasy.

Nah they'd be lovely, put hairs on your chest

12 egg heart attack might finish you tho

Either that or a constipated/egg bound stroke the next day whilst straining on the lavatory!

You eat that whole bag you're not passing solids for a week, pro tip for if music festivals ever come back