Bartending

Also, and this is hilarious to me: the owner decided to drop back to ultra-cheap tequila (Torada) from the 100% agave we'd been serving. I was worried about this -- thought we'd get complaints about serving drinks with paint thinner and rubbing alcohol and such. But an older couple from San Antonio was in town last night; he was drinking watermelon margaritas and she was having regular ones. He came up to the bar as they were leaving and said "My wife and I consider ourselves margarita snobs, and these were fantastic, really well done, thanks." So there you go, snobs like paint thinner.

"this is the best Italian meal I've ever had. and I've been to *Dallas*!"

are you sure he wasn’t taking the piss
taking it, or drinking it?

No, he was totally sincere. He may have only had margaritas at a Chili's and at his brother in law's house back home in San Antone though.

The state's ABC is completely out of Luxardo Maraschino and has been out for a couple of months. One of our drinks, the Pink Pussycat, has a small amount and we're down to our last couple of ounces, so I went to Memphis yesterday to Buster's Liquor, an amazing store. Better stocked than all the places I've been to in Atlanta. Loaded up on Luxardo for the bar (+ 1 bottle of Lazzaroni, a cheaper maraschino liqueur, for comparison) and then spent another $300 on stuff for myself.

We're going to start doing Saturday brunch in a couple of weeks and the owner wants me to come up with 5-6 mimosa options.

Went there this summer. I've never seen so many bottles of Four Roses. Their beer selection was outstanding too. Got a 12-pack sampler of Oskar Blues for like 10 bucks!

Got my daughter out of the house for the first time in months and took her to Memphis, where she had googled three or four comic book stores.

My part of the deal was a stop at a real liquor store and a bag full of Krystals.

Is Comics & Collectibles on Poplar still open? That was where I had my pull-list in my comics-heavy 1980s and 90s.

One thing Buster's didn't have was Empress 1908 gin, which my daughter was interested in. We ate lunch at Pho Saigon, which was reasonably close to Joe's Liquor (pictured on the cover of the Compulsive Gamblers 1st album), so we went there afterwards. It looks really run-down from the outside. I stayed in the car while she went in to check on the gin and a couple minutes later she texted me "hey this place is really nice on the inside, you should come check it out." Really nice selection in there as well, and a lot more beers available in singles so you can try stuff out without buying packs.

That place was all right, pretty big.

She was more impressed with 901 Comics, down around Cooper near Mid-South Coliseum. Guys in there asking about her shirt, what her favorite Star Wars character was, etc. So much attention from the Comic Book Lads!

Thought about stopping at Tip Top too, but I didn't want to spend the day dragging my 13-year-old into every liquor store in Memphis, though Lord knows it could be a fun activity for the two of us one day!

Didn’t expect to see so many daughters itt lol

On the whole, I’d rather watch Bar Rescue.

Hell, even going into bars grosses me out. What’s wrong with drinking alone and scouring DoubleList to find sexual partners? At least I don’t have to drive

First customers of the night last night were a couple out for a quiet dinner. She has cider, he has an Old Fashioned, just the one. On their way out, he comes to the bar and says "THAT's how you make an Old Fashioned" and hands me a $20 bill. Just as they were leaving, the other side of the coin comes in. Nice guy, wants all kinds of things, talks beer and spirits and such with me and one of the owners for an hour until we get busy. Stays all evening. Tab at the end is $71, tips me $4.

I made a plum sauce (simmered down 2# of overripe plums with a scant cup of sugar, worked through a strainer and simmered some more) a few weeks ago and shared some with my daughter. She sent me a photo last night of a plum margarita with a thin slice of jalapeño, which yes please! Need to restock my Everclear supply and get some bitters components going soon.

That sounds terrific. Dark fruit + scovilles + tequila, yeahhhh.

I hope that fucker doesn't die while I'm working, I'm liable announce a round on the house and get myself fired.

hahaha <3

also we just made plum shrub with allspice and black pepper and bay leaf, surely that's gotta be good with rum and bitters? my wife is not a fan of Scovilles.

Heck yeah, I'll be right over.

One thing I didn't know or expect about bartending is that I'd be sticky from beginning to end of every shift. Juicing squirty citrus and prepping garnishes, then dealing with little spills of sweetened liqueurs and simple syrup all night, mixing juice/syrup premixes for special cocktails...no matter how often I wash my hands, wipe down surfaces and change towels, my hands are tacky until I leave for the night.

The other staff bartender has been off the last two Saturdays and the fill-in is a bartender on furlough from Disney. I was too irritated at her last night to ask if she'd survived the big layoff last week. She's soooo sloowwwww...

We've started opening Tuesday and Weds for happy hour, 4-7, appetizers-only from the kitchen. Tuesday, the first day of the new hours, we were pretty slow, still busy enough to cover payroll and make the opening worth it. Wednesday we were slammed like we'd never been before, enormous numbers and not enough staff; that's Church Night for you in a newly wet town.

Loads of people were swilling Liquid Marijuana, so yesterday I went in and batched 3 liters of the boozes for that so each drink would be one 3 oz. pour instead of 4 little ones, a crucial time-saver for the next happy hour.

sounds like the place is a hit!

So far so good! One of the Mexican restaurants in town has closed for a few months after an ownership change so they could rework their menu and add beer and frozen margaritas, but so far we're still the only bar game in town.

Made a quick run to the liquor store for prosecco in case any brave soul wants to pop a cork for Joe tonight.

Developing a roasted pineapple margarita, early results very promising. Rolled out an aged eggnog yesterday for all of December, handed out a few free samples last night to positive feedback.

One of the bar regulars last night started spouting bullshit about how much we don't know about vaccines and he's not going to get one until he's sure, blah blah blah. I'd come back at every stupid assertion with "what's your news source for believing that?" and it would usually be OANN or just something somebody told him. He also said he had to get his temperature checked at the gate every day before going in to work, but he made them do the infrared sensor on his wrist instead of his forehead "'cause I just don't like anything aimed at my head, 'specially something shaped like a gun."

So what else did Senator Tuberville say

"Ah don't want mah RNA scrambled. Damn, that margarita was fiiiiiine."

Meanwhile, the GM/co-owner turns out to be one of those guys who absolutely loves Christmas, loves getting the place done up in decorations, and most of all, loves playing Christmas music over the house system. So I asked him if there were any exceptions to this or should I just stick an icepick in my head right now. He thought that was really funny.

Oh god

I once worked at a kind of hipster grocery store where they played the “harder they come” soundtrack all day, every day. Great record when you hear it a few times or when stopping in for some cheese. After 40 times, not so much. Many rivers to cross.

Thinking about getting a blender at the bar for frozen drinks but worried that it will open a regrettable can of worms.

don't do it

Funny blender attachment that would open a can imo

heh

Yeah, the more I read up on this, the less I like the idea.

Save it for post covid entertaining splurge buying

Skip the blender, get the slushy mixers

FRIENDS: Ooh this place has a frozen daiquiri machine!
ME: Don't do it. Don't do it. There is a zero percent chance it will be any good.
FRIENDS: <order frozen daiquiris anyway>
Ten minutes pass...
FRIENDS: We should have listened.

But on the topic of blenders, stand-up (spindle) blenders are totally legit pieces of equipment for flash blending: https://punchdrink.com/articles/flash-blend-way-better-frothy-drink/

ooh, interesting, thanks ernestp

I want to be able to make frozen drinks, but I don't want to be roped into making only frozen drinks. Maybe I could treat it like the H&F Cheeseburger, ring the bell once a night and the first four customers who claim it can get one.

i was going to suggest doing it once a week as a special on a manageable night.

Sell 'em by the batch/carafe...?

I rarely make frozen drinks but I sometimes pull out this recipe for a frozen banana daiquiri - just blend everything together (I use one of those small Magic Bullet-style blenders):
1.5 oz rum
0.5 oz Grand Marnier
1 banana
juice from one lime
1 tsp sugar
handful of ice

Wednesday was so, so bad. We were at 110% capacity near as I could tell, with only me at the bar and everyone wanting drinks that took a while to build – margaritas, Sazeracs, sours – rather than just highballs or beers. I will start looking for an escape route from the job before going through too many more of those. So last night, a night off, I went to the bar and just sat and had a beer so I could experience the place without hating it or feeling like my hair was on fire.

WmC, where are you bartending that the bar gets at capacity during a pandemic?

Northeast Mississippi, where pandemic precautions are something we strongly consider and then totally ignore.

damn dude. hope yer double-masking it and that we all get outta this hellscape soon.

Had a covid denier in last night, a trucker who's stuck in town for a couple of days while he waits for tie-down equipment to be delivered by other truckers (who are in the middle of their mandated 34-hour reset in Knoxville). Anyway, he was nice enough but completely convinced that covid is a hoax -- the medical community is using it as a massive cash grab. "Lung cancer? Call it covid and get real paid. Pneumonia? Call it covid and get real paid." etc. I was pretend-smiling and shooting eye-lasers at him and said "Ohhh, I should tell my mother about that -- OH WAIT I CAN'T, BECAUSE SHE DIED FROM IT." Didn't faze him a bit, he just kept rambling on. But he did change the subject pretty quickly.

You have the patience of a saint.

anybody who pisses off the person who make them drinks is an unintelligent person

In all other respects, he was a nice guy, tipped well, which in a way just pissed me off more. They're out there! The pod people! They look just like our friends and neighbors! Don't go to sleep!

WmC, i only just found this thread and read the whole thing. it's a great read! glad you've stayed healthy--would read a book full of your bar thoughts.

also i'm so sorry about your mom

would read a book full of your bar thoughts.

same

what did you end up doing with the pomelo juice?

??? pomelo juice ???

that bitter orange thing?