pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

Pitchfork must do extensive A/B testing. I guess devvine's version has Netflix children's show actors instead of a comedian/writer for Desus & Mero, an actor from I May Destroy You (please don't show that to your children), and Kelly Reichardt?

It's cool that Masha and the Bear are into Ethio Jazz though

Pitchfork must do extensive A/B testing. I guess devvine's version has Netflix children's show actors instead of a comedian/writer for Desus & Mero, an actor from I May Destroy You (please don't show that to your children), and Kelly Reichardt?

― rob, Tuesday, 11 August 2020 18:19 (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

i think i was just remembering a stranger things kid tbf

The “Here’s What [Celebrity] Is Listening To” articles clearly only exist so they can take advantage of the strings they’re able to pull with notable figures in the non-music wings of showbiz in a way that still ostensibly fits the site’s core mission, ie “our readers will probably click on a headline with Marc Maron’s name in it, and he at least listens to music, right?”.
It’s basically a snazzier version of when they try to rationalize some reason why a midday article about the Clone High revival or w/e qualifies as “music news”.

It's kind of like the "STARS: THEY'RE JUST LIKE US" of the music world imho.

They should do it from the POV of fictional characters. I want to know what Wendy and Lucy were jamming before Wendy's car shit the bed.

https://oct.co/essays/wye-oak-jenn-wasner-no-horizon-interview

This interview, published on October, a beer publication, and linked to on Pitchfork, includes two questions about alcohol. The interviewee responds to each of those questions making brief and vague references only to wine. Beer is mentioned one time by the interviewer and zero times by the interviewee.

There should be at least 2 questions about hops in each interview

has the beer site now lasted longer than the dissolve

well, there's surely more to say about beer than about films

"Let's talk wine barrels. Wye Oak... why oak?"

wow i totally forgot about the dissolve

mentioning the dissolve reminded me of their vertical (not sure if that's the right term) for more experimental/fringe stuff ... way back in the early 2000s, I think? what was that called?

Altered Zones? That was 2010-2011ish.

Also, in my mind I always think of The Dissolve more as an AV Club spinoff than a Pitchfork spinoff, which it actually was.

Dissolve was an AV Club spinoff published by PF

it read a lot like the av club which was a problem

yes, Altered Zones ... was it really that recent??

https://pitchfork.com/news/j-balvin-and-roddy-ricch-drop-out-of-2020-mtv-vmas/

Seems weird to write this news article without a mention that j Balvin is recovering from covid

Nirvana drops out of 1994 VMAs

Today’s throwback review (of Miranda Lambert’s Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) is well-written, but it’s an extreme case of the usual problem — by the time Sodomsky gets around to actually talking about that particular album (for a paragraph or two), it’s startling/amusing to recall that a review of that particular album is what you had clicked on.

Keep in mind: it's only been the last few years that Pitchfork's paid attention to Lambert, therefore context is more important than usual. I didn't mind it here, in large part b/c Sodomsky's one of my favorite working writers.

Mine too, but it could have just as easily been labeled a review of Kerosene!

Kerosene’s the better album

I've leaned that way for a couple years

Whoever wrote the subhed for Sodomsky's Mary Chapin Carpenter review probably shouldn't have leaned so heavily on phrasing from the opening sentence.

I am devastated to learn there is “slut-shaming” on the new Nas album

is there a fetus

That's a pretty well-written review, though.

Maybe I'm going stir crazy but for some reason this was just cracking my up yesterday: NEWS
Lil Uzi Vert’s Virtual Concert: Here’s What Happened

You'll never guess what happened: "Running through some of his biggest hits from a socially distanced livestream in Philadelphia... Uzi performed on under a Jumbotron and on a circular stage that flashed with a number of custom designs and animations" Sounds like a good time, hope he had fun!

“on under”?

imagine trying to diagram that sentence in 1968

nevertheless, he performed on, under a jumbotron

https://y.yarn.co/397c637b-d041-4337-8c58-6c15cb7d22a9_text.gif

whoops i meant
https://y.yarn.co/397c637b-d041-4337-8c58-6c15cb7d22a9_text.gif

The Worst Part of Bill & Ted Face the Music Is the Music

i mean, they're not wrong?

Unlike the original! Big Pig and Glen Burtnik 4eva.

The music is bad in all 3 movies except for Primus I guess

the worst part of pitchfork's 2010s decade listicle was the music

the premise of the fantasy movie series Bill & Ted has always been "two untalented doofuses manage to make music that offends nobody"

the bogus journey soundtrack rules

it does! i was thinking of "god gave rock and roll to you" and "two heads are better than one" -- although at least those songs are funny-bad whereas the stuff in the last 10 minutes of face the music is headache-bad.

just to say something nice, I really like the format of Alphonse Pierre's weekly rap column

"It’s Time to Take Enya Seriously"(?)

Maybe a teaser headline format like this shouldn't bug me, but it does - b/c it implies "we" haven't been taking her seriously, and my immediate response is - "That's on you, dude"

Also, I feel like the “it’s time to take Enya seriously” thing is like five years too late at this point

yeah, agree (maybe it's an excellent podcast, idk)

pivot to Enya

It's Time to Take ABBA Seriously

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