Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

no just matchbooks and fireworks like normal people

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, August 10, 2020 8:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

better than him saying "my mother"

My mom always makes of light of that turn of phrase by saying 'your own personal father' (except in Romanian) instead so it's amusing to me.

your own
personal
father

someone who shares your name
someone to blame

when my mum said "your father" it meant she was cross with him or passing on an opinion or request she disapproved of

See also: yer da

Shenanigans

Wow, you drank outside.

You exhibitionist!

Apparently it's odd that me and my brothers say "my dad" rather than just "Dad" when discussing our dad.

Like I will say to my older brother who has the same dad as me "If we're going ahead I'll invite my dad."

I don't know how it came about and we didn't know it was odd until other people told us.

“Your own personal father” sounds light hearted and amusing.
“Your mother” to an only child (me) always sounded mildly hostile and passive aggressive. I think it’s in the way it was employed. What’s wrong with “mom”?

If I had kids I would not tolerate being referred to as “your mother”

(xp) Yes, we do that too, maybe it's a West of Scotland thing?

LL that seems backwards to me.

I can get how it could sound hostile depending on tone but the alternative - calling my wife 'Mum' - sounds all kinds of weird to my ears and is something that only happens in old English sitcoms.

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids because that's what they call her. it's like her name. kinda weird from the outside maybe.

i call my own dad 'jim', but 'my dad' when talking to people outside my family.

I'm not averse to 'your mother' but could not that weird to use your wife's actual name in these situations.

I remember my mum objecting to my dad referring to her as Mum when we were growing up.

but could not = but also not

Saying either "mum" or "your mother" to the kids is fine by me, it's using it to address her directly that's weird, but i do it anyway - like "let's see what your mum says - mum!". the alternative - "let's see what your mum says - helen!" seems jarring, also i don't want to get into the habit of first names around the kids. i've called my parents by their first names since i was fairly young and they've said they did miss being called mum and dad.

I know we covered this upthread, but the explosion in the use of "concerning" when users mean "worrying" is bugging the shit out of me. "Concerning" to my ears is a synonym for "about."

Yer auld da', that'll do the trick.

La Lechera, is your problem really with the full, more formal word "mother" (vs. the informal short form "mom") and not with "your"? Or with both together?

Anyway when I'm talking to my children, if I say "Mom" or "Mother" to mean my wife, that's confusing and odd to me. Because my wife most definitely isn't MY mother or mom. I don't call her Mom when we're talking to each other (ick).

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

"Your mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

"My mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

(FWIW I love my mother very much, we have a good relationship. But I've always called her "mother" and it doesn't sound remotely cold or fussy to me, because it's what I'm used to. One of my sisters calls her "Mom" or "Mommy" only when she wants something, so to my ears it sounds a little cloying. But that's just me.)

Alfred how about " consternatin' "

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

To make matters even more confusing, sometimes my mom calls me mom (mami) and my dad calls me dad (tati). This is standard in Romanian.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

That's just relocating the same problem! My grandma is not at the store. Their grandma is at the store. So I would say "your grandma."

This is not complicated.

Just give everyone nicknames. Problem solved.

Just dissolve the nuclear family.

xpost Jookie's at the store, and Bizzle is at the doctor

Nuclear family is good not bad imo. One for the controps thread?

Just a joke. I love my family.

Apparently it's odd that me and my brothers say "my dad" rather than just "Dad" when discussing our dad.

Think this is a West of Scotland thing, yeah. My extended family all use it - even to the extent of exchanges like
Cousin: "Should I bring my gran when I come over?"
Me: "what your gran or my gran my-gran?"

My sister always objects. "She's MY GRAN TOO"

in California people refer to their parents as the mom or dad, much like they do highways and interstates

Students whose first language in Spanish will often write "my grandma" and "my mom" repeatedly in papers. For variety's sake, I'll ask, "What do you call them?" If they say "Mami" or "Abuelita" or whatever I urge them to use that nickname after the first reference.

Not as bad as 'the wife' but it's up there.

xp

people from the Houston area, however, refer to the children of their aunts and uncles as "feeder siblings"

None of these are bad.
What's bad is when you're so used to referring to your wife as 'mummy' around the kids, and not at all used to having your own mother visit and similarly not used to calling her 'Granny', that you intend to call your own mother 'Mum' or 'Granny' but keep saying 'mummy' when you're a grown man.

Your school bus is almost here = informative and normal

Your backpack is in the car = informative and normal

Your lunch is on the table = informative and normal

Your dance class is at 3:00 = informative and normal

Your guinea pig needs to be fed = informative and normal

Your mom is at the grocery store = hostile and passive-aggressive

Got it.

Yo momma.

is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

If dads can't deal with/feel weird or uncomfortable referring to their children's mother as "mom" ***when talking with their children**** the problem is more complex than we are giving it credit for here

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids because that's what they call her. it's like her name. kinda weird from the outside maybe.

to the kids, it is her name -- she IS mom
i appreciate you acknowledging that
to me "your mother" sounds very cold

it sounds cold because it is cold! it's saying she's YOUR mother but she is MY WIFE

it's all related

(Borat voice) MY WIFE

My dad has never been especially progressive (although generally more so than the average Romanian man of his generation) and he calls my mom 'mom' all the time when talking with me. Might also be a cultural thing, idk.

my sister loves referring to “your mother” when she talks to me about our mom, it’s like it somehow confers her power over me, or over her, or both. i loathe it obv

exactly!!! it's a power move and to have that come from my dad? to me? about my mom? YUCK

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids

TH channelling his inner J-J Rousseau.

Just give everyone nicknames. Problem solved.

― stabbing fantaisiste, repellent imagiste (pomenitul), Tuesday, August 11, 2020 10:32 AM (five hours ago)

This is more or less how my Indian in-laws do it actually. And really "Mom" and "Dad" are nicknames

My dad has never been especially progressive (although generally more so than the average Romanian man of his generation) and he calls my mom 'mom' all the time when talking with me. Might also be a cultural thing, idk.

never before have i disagreed with la lechera so vehemently

refer to my dad as "oscar" primarily or "my dad"

refer to my mum as "my mum", "mum, or "ma maw".

dad calls my mum "mum" in front of me or "your mother". my dad calling my mum "mum" was very confusing when both of my grandmothers were alive as this could mean either my mum, his mum, or my mum's mum (who he also called mum) but is less confusing now there's only one mum left

If my dad was called an amazing name like Oscar I’d call him that too

come on everyone, the valence of kinship terms is unlikely to be very generalizable but it doesn't mean anyone is wrong, either