Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

"the wife, the friend, the rival" by My Dying Bride

'…and her lover'

I use "my wife" on ILX because I don't use my government name on ILX and I'm not going to drop hers here either. I could call her Mrs. Aimless, but that doesn't seem like an improvement, because she kept her own name when we got married and she isn't "Mrs. Aimless".

Endless Nameless Aimless

I can't really see what do wrong with my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. I mean, not all in one go, perhaps.

there's a world of difference btw "my wife" and "the wife"

I call my partner "my Zamboni machine"

I am single.

i thought your partner posted here tbh but then i realized it was just a sock

The sock.

the worst version of the not-present wife I've heard is an acquaintance who simply says "her" and "she" - no name, not "my wife" or "the wife"

like "yes I fancy a pint but I'll need to talk to her first"

horrible

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

that reads as absolutely normal parentspeak to me

Yeah, huh?

When I am talking to my children I wouldn't refer to my wife as "Mother" or "Mom," because she's not my mother. I wouldn't refer to her as "Elisabeth." To me it would be weird to say "son, Elisabeth says you still need to brush your teeth."

"Your mother is coming home soon." "Your mom is at the store."

I don't get what I'm supposed to say instead.

"Hey children, what do you think my wife wants for her birthday?"

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

This has bothered me my whole life!

my wife and sister-in-law refer to their mother as "your mother" when talking to each other because neither wants to claim ownership

that one's greaat

Still not getting what one should say instead. "Offspring Unit B, I distinctly recall that Spousal Unit One directed you to empty the waste receptacles."

Yeah, my mom would say, "Well, what do you want me to call him?" And admittedly I didn't have a good answer. Yet, it still seemed so impersonal

"Son, I hear from the Hubster that you're not doing your homework."

Is that better?

"the wife" iirc

sometimes when i'm speaking to my little brother i will tactically employ the "your mother" usage just to get under his skin

"you know man, your mother was really disappointed with how you behaved at thanksgiving last year. did you really need to have that much wine ?"

then we beat the shit out of each other

Shenanigans

People on social media talking about what kind of "shenanigans they got into this weekend!" Wow, you drank outside.

xp do you burn each other w "your mother" jokes

no just matchbooks and fireworks like normal people

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Monday, August 10, 2020 8:08 PM bookmarkflaglink

better than him saying "my mother"

My mom always makes of light of that turn of phrase by saying 'your own personal father' (except in Romanian) instead so it's amusing to me.

your own
personal
father

someone who shares your name
someone to blame

when my mum said "your father" it meant she was cross with him or passing on an opinion or request she disapproved of

See also: yer da

Shenanigans

Wow, you drank outside.

You exhibitionist!

Apparently it's odd that me and my brothers say "my dad" rather than just "Dad" when discussing our dad.

Like I will say to my older brother who has the same dad as me "If we're going ahead I'll invite my dad."

I don't know how it came about and we didn't know it was odd until other people told us.

“Your own personal father” sounds light hearted and amusing.
“Your mother” to an only child (me) always sounded mildly hostile and passive aggressive. I think it’s in the way it was employed. What’s wrong with “mom”?

If I had kids I would not tolerate being referred to as “your mother”

(xp) Yes, we do that too, maybe it's a West of Scotland thing?

LL that seems backwards to me.

I can get how it could sound hostile depending on tone but the alternative - calling my wife 'Mum' - sounds all kinds of weird to my ears and is something that only happens in old English sitcoms.

i find myself calling my wife 'maman' when i talk to my kids because that's what they call her. it's like her name. kinda weird from the outside maybe.

i call my own dad 'jim', but 'my dad' when talking to people outside my family.

I'm not averse to 'your mother' but could not that weird to use your wife's actual name in these situations.

I remember my mum objecting to my dad referring to her as Mum when we were growing up.

but could not = but also not

Saying either "mum" or "your mother" to the kids is fine by me, it's using it to address her directly that's weird, but i do it anyway - like "let's see what your mum says - mum!". the alternative - "let's see what your mum says - helen!" seems jarring, also i don't want to get into the habit of first names around the kids. i've called my parents by their first names since i was fairly young and they've said they did miss being called mum and dad.

I know we covered this upthread, but the explosion in the use of "concerning" when users mean "worrying" is bugging the shit out of me. "Concerning" to my ears is a synonym for "about."

Yer auld da', that'll do the trick.

La Lechera, is your problem really with the full, more formal word "mother" (vs. the informal short form "mom") and not with "your"? Or with both together?

Anyway when I'm talking to my children, if I say "Mom" or "Mother" to mean my wife, that's confusing and odd to me. Because my wife most definitely isn't MY mother or mom. I don't call her Mom when we're talking to each other (ick).

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

"Your mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

"My mom's at the grocery store" = unambiguous. Clearly means exactly one person.

(FWIW I love my mother very much, we have a good relationship. But I've always called her "mother" and it doesn't sound remotely cold or fussy to me, because it's what I'm used to. One of my sisters calls her "Mom" or "Mommy" only when she wants something, so to my ears it sounds a little cloying. But that's just me.)

Alfred how about " consternatin' "

"Mom's at the grocery store" = ambiguous. Could mean two different people.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

To make matters even more confusing, sometimes my mom calls me mom (mami) and my dad calls me dad (tati). This is standard in Romanian.

That's why you say 'grandma' when talking about your own mom in front of the kids.

That's just relocating the same problem! My grandma is not at the store. Their grandma is at the store. So I would say "your grandma."

This is not complicated.

Just give everyone nicknames. Problem solved.

Just dissolve the nuclear family.

xpost Jookie's at the store, and Bizzle is at the doctor