Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

just imagining what he did when he was told he should "get his ducks in a row"

xpost I thought it was from the Simpsons:

https://www.cartooncuisine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Fish-Sandwich-Screenshot.jpg

He's stupider than any person I've ever personally known. Like it isn't even a contest.

He is sitting at his desk in the oval office asking where his TAB is.

Ok. Who made this? It's genius. pic.twitter.com/EkwG2RlDel

— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) August 5, 2020

Credit to Justin T Brown, the editor of this amazing clip. https://t.co/YAY2f88MHp

— edgarwright (@edgarwright) August 5, 2020

Came here to post that, very funny.

https://t.co/56cZJb191r pic.twitter.com/YfobY6Z6s1

— Pictures of Nixon (@picturesofnixon) August 10, 2020

remembering when potato with an "e" meant your were stupid

YOUR WERE

hee hee

Sorry, but this level of ...whatever this is...classic. Actually burst out laughing at the hairy legs quote fade-in.

pic.twitter.com/36b2xC1GZf

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 13, 2020

serious Xavier Renegade Angel vibes going on there

damn, that ad is good

bidet rain

so is DT supposed to be channeling Eddy Grant here or is it Joe B who’s rocking down to Electric Avenue?

Serious question btw – the opening lines are obviously there for a reason:
Down in the street there is violence / And-a lots of work to be done
I mean, this is a cool song and it bangs, so you would want to claim it for yourself and not give it away to your opponent, would you?
But if Trump is the one who will get to work and fix it, he’s also implicitly endorsing this part:
Who is to blame in one country / Never can get to the one
Dealin' in multiplication / And they still can't feed everyone

Or is “Electric Avenue” supposed to be soundtracking the evil protesters, and is Sleepy Joe pathetically slow to respond, unlike that unstoppable Trump/Pence “KAG” (wtf?) train?
But again, this is a cool song and it bangs...

(The answer could of course simply be that they think it sounds clunky and dorky, but they would be wrong)

Because you can't say "Cohen" (phonetically) without "ew:"

👀"From golden showers in a sex club in Vegas, to tax fraud, to deals with corrupt officials from the former Soviet Union, to catch and kill conspiracies to silence Trump’s clandestine lovers, I wasn’t just a witness to the president’s rise—I was an active and eager participant." https://t.co/LdKBeBxHMf

— Natasha Bertrand (@NatashaBertrand) August 13, 2020

Eager for Piss

damn, that's from the foreword. i guess it's time to learn more about trump's penis

“You’re family,” Trump said to my son and I.

so I guess this hasn't been given an edit yet

i will leave it to some poor political reporter to sift through that and deliver the newsworthy items to me, because i cannot read any more of that prose style

bidet rain

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Thursday, August 13, 2020 1:59 PM bookmarkflaglink

never meant to cause u any leakage
never meant to cause u any pain

Jesus that's dark

still not a word from him about the fact that his brother died today

he released a statement

"I never met my brother"

uncharacteristic

"It is with heavy heart I share that my wonderful brother, Robert, peacefully passed away tonight. He was not just my brother, he was my best friend. He will be greatly missed, but we will meet again. His memory will live on in my heart forever. Robert, I love you. Rest in peace," the President said.

oh I didn't see that. not written by him obviously

otm

by the way very curious they aren't revealing the cause of death given that everyone's gonna assume it was you-know-what

Truly beautiful that he considers his best friend to be his brother who I didn’t even know existed until yesterday and who I’ve never heard him mention once.

xpost it's ok, he'll just issue an Executive Order banning coronavirus

if it were a simple case of masturbatory self-asphyxiation leading to massive brain damage they'd have released the details by now.

Truly beautiful that he considers his best friend to be his brother who I didn’t even know existed until yesterday and who I’ve never heard him mention once.

he honored him by golfing with an NFL kicker today

Imagine Trump having a friend.

hopefully they meet again soon.

yeesh this is brutal

Melania - once again - wanting nothing to do with Trump’s small hands... pic.twitter.com/kjf7rv1EFC

— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) August 17, 2020

i mean, she knows just as we do that she could do a lot better

Calls into Fox & Friends; is asked about his dead brother...

Trump praises his late brother Robert for his lack of "jealousy" of him. Whether he "had the number one show," a great real estate deal or was becoming president, Trump says, Robert didn't show the jealousy that sometimes exists in families.

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) August 17, 2020

Perfectly normal when discussing a recently-deceased relative to extemporate at length about how chill they were re: your own awesomeness.

i wonder when trump will start getting jealous of his brother

honestly when he does stuff like this i think he's extremely funny.

xpost Well, his brother getting press atm (and consequently drawing attention that is rightfully Donald's) so it's just a matter of time before he drops an insulting tweet or three about Lazy Rob.

"He never had a boat parade..."

I prefer the brothers who don't die

tweet before that one is great too: "He was my friend. And I guess they say 'best friend.' And that's true,"

Hell, let's just say "only friend." Because he was my brother and he had no choice. Plus, us assholes got to stick together. Family! Sad!

Even saying something as simple as "my brother was my best friend", god forbid he not frame it as something where he is in agreement with a widely-held consensus opinion. Its like has to constantly remind himself out loud that nothing he says or thinks is unusual.

looking back, it's amazing that he was able to fake any interest at all in other people's fortunes during the campaign. or it is amazing that enough voters thought he gave a shit about anything other than self-promotion.