marketing of masculinity

how about a bidet that can measure how hard and fast i piss? i need constantly updating stats on my PSI

maybe an online leaderboard with my toughest guy friends too, so we can all know how hard we all pee

"third pit" possibly the most heinous euphemism for asshole i've ever heard

yeah we all know the third pit is your mouth

I thought it was the parietal eye?

And here I thought "pissing contests" were about height, not speed or volume. Clearly what we need is a physicist trained in fluid dynamics, or perhaps we should say, a Physicist with a capital Pee.

Don't know about third, but I've heard about

I got covid tested today and I honestly... Loved it. Maybe the nose is the fourth hole

— Myles Xavier (@xylesmavier) July 17, 2020

I shared that tweet with some friends and one of them agreed with it!!

There are people who enjoy sounding, so anything is possible.

of course there is a “wipe the troops” link. “...who are really saving our asses every day...”

so why do they do it? it is 100 percent marketing. here's the designer of the GMC Sierra HD https://t.co/8eXVnOy6VD pic.twitter.com/V5QPDQ6igH

— ryan cooper (@ryanlcooper) August 7, 2020

From commenter XLProfessor:

"We were thinking of all those horrific scenes in movies where some truck comes bearing down on a child before cutting away," he continued, "we want to give our customers the ability to inspire that feeling."

good find mh

it’s just laughable, it’s just like they’re going to the ice cream shop dressed as cowboys or something

I think I stole it from lag∞n on twitter

Cobra GermSlayer anti-bac hand gel

iirc the majority of motor vehicles sold in the United States are now trucks (Canada can't be far behind).

there is no longer such a thing as a compact truck on the market in the US, the "midsize trucks" like ford rangers or toyota tacomas are pretty fucking big (especially compared to what they looked like even in the 00s). don't think ford sells anything that isn't a crossover, truck or suv right now. ridiculous situation.

Because I don't live in pickup country, I'm occasionally awestruck when I see one of those massive ram pickups, they're kind of overwhelming.

I saw an all black one yesterday that just looked like a fucking death machine

my fav is the fash trifecta: giant truck, molon labe sticker, blue lives usa flag

just kidding that setup should literally be a hate crime

these are literally everywhere where i live.

cars in general are a lot bigger now. the proportionality of most designs is just totally heinous, incoherent garbage. but death machine truck grills have got to be the ugliest. the funny thing is you look at the whole body of the truck and it's just like a bunch of huge arbitrary plastic parts with arbitrary lines and bumps and "fake bolts" glued together, it looks like it could all fall apart any second. it's lost any sense of human proportionality so it looks like one of those monster animals from the movie annihilation. it's also the truck version of the 'giant toddler' aesthetic. trucks from the past used to look convincingly masculine with so much less bulk - they looked like they were created in the context of a human world, not by a giant 3d printer. every time i see an old ford or even one of the small toyotas it gives me a good feeling. but in general the older i get the more repulsed i am by cars, car culture, the idiotic attachment that american adults have to cars, etc.

every time i see an old ford or even one of the small toyotas it gives me a good feeling

same. actually considering getting an old ford ranger when I finally bother to get my license

i was walking around recently and saw someone's 2000-ish f-150 parked in their driveway, and i was sort of shocked by how short it seemed. it's not a small truck, but it felt weird that it didn't tower over me at all.

I haven't seen a comparison but the ford ranger seems like it's closer to the size of the old f-150

I remember my friend's dad had a probably early 90s-ish ranger and it was a convenient size. they just don't really make a practical smaller-sized pickup anymore!

I used to drive a Chevy S10 for work. Now they're being crushed at monster truck rallies.

Just got an ad for a manly bidet, a classic in the genre of normal products made manly pic.twitter.com/TUYrNwpAGf

— Tom Gara (@tomgara) August 13, 2020

We discussed it upthread!

xps - My current Colorado is almost identical in size to my old '99 F-150. Both seem smaller than my '87 F-150 but that may be more to how shitty the steering and everything else was about that truck.

I miss being able to terrify passengers by half-turning the wheel and it doing nothing.

I’m looking at pictures of the ‘98 F-150 and it seems tiny

Truck steering was so insanely loose, though. Mechanical reasons probably exist, but the ‘93 Explorer I drove for years had so much play in the steering and that was par for the course with anything deemed truck-like. I haven’t driven anything with looser steering with regularity in years. Mini vans are even pretty tight now

also my 2016 Colorado is a piece of shit and if anyone is considering a midsize truck buy a Toyota or Ford instead

are men okay pic.twitter.com/DlrIUsvK86

— Zeba Blay (@zblay) September 15, 2020

the answer is no, men are not ok

but this is pretty hilarious

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eh9e37mWkAIUCM1?format=jpg&name=4096x4096

I mean, I think it carries the tongue in cheek aspect of MANLINESS far enough that maybe I'm actually ok with it?

the baby isn't even hooked up to the comms. how are they going to carry out this man's orders?

https://www.galvatronflashlights.com/tactical-pen-home

The Galvatron AK47 is the First USB Rechargeable Tactical Pen to hit the Market

They couldn't think of any original names, so they borrowed them from that transformer that turns into a gun and an actual gun.

I need that all-weather pen for when I'm writin' checks in the blinding rain

tactical writing

for when I sign a mf's death warrant before blowing them away

https://www.galvatronflashlights.com/hosted/images/df/861d81b5fe4b25ae791eb5ee7a3a20/Pen-animation-BG.gif

"everyday carry" type stuff is too funny

Euler, I'm at work, please.

;)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

i don't see an escape tool that can break glass in a tactical situation

optional fleshlight extension

why do none of these everyday carry top tens include sunscreen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODO0zQBPI2k

the promotional video is really something
https://vimeo.com/333473257