rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

yeah, most pizza isn't good pizza

so wait... by removing the "crust"...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qItugh-fFgg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG7273yDpdA

i fucking love polly o string cheese btw

This is pizza for Ketos.

eat the ball pic.twitter.com/iXplBqhglc

— Big Bob Hell 🏴☭ (@AlmightyBoob) August 2, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsxTSr-5Mww&feature=youtu.be

cmon dickheads, eat the ball

Eat the Ball® is an innovative European company based in Austria that launched the world's first bread brand in 2012 and established a new category of functional branded bread.

It all began in 2007, with one simple question: Why are there no real bread brands? A food as important as bread is still only sold in generic “categories” instead of as a real, distinguishable product brand with individual quality characteristics. The company’s founder Michael Hobel and his business partner Norbert Kraihamer found the issue of bread so intriguing that in 2012 they decided to launch Eat the Ball® in Austria, following five years of research and development. The first steps into Europe and now in the USA. The stated aim is to create the world's first real bread brand.

excellent mission statement, that answers all of my questions

"gently made"?

five years of research and development

I feel like there are bread brands!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsxTSr-5Mww

DISRUPT BREAD

562 views for an ad that was posted two years ago

get me a two year old donut ad

launched the world's first bread brand in 2012

I am incredulous that these euros have never heard of Wonder Bread.

Even Dave's Killer Bread started in 2005.

and Mike's Hard Bread was a year before that

what the fuck?

Pepperidge Farm, not remembered :(

The World's First Bread Brand

Hey, wait just one minute.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/Bread_1971.JPG

RIP mexican pizza

Good US-baiting from Supreme Court of Ireland there: for VAT purposes at least, Subway bread is confectionary, not bread.

https://www.insider.com/ban-chipotles-cuffing-season-menu-2020-11

"Our restaurants have been extremely popular date destinations, and many of our fans have found love bonding over their Chipotle obsessions," Tressie Lieberman, Chipotle's vice president of digital marketing and off-premise, told Insider. "In our endless pursuit to meet our fans where they are, we teamed up with Uber Eats to create a series of fun, sharable pairings that can be enjoyed anywhere and will complement the dating experience."

https://i.imgur.com/U4xzEfe.jpg

the chipotles i’ve been in have really bad atmosphere, don’t go on a date there

RIP mexican pizza

https://www.kfc.co.uk/menu/for-one/gravy-burger-1-mini-fillet-box-meal

A Christmas Special – An Original Recipe fillet burger, teamed with creamy Gravynnaise™, cheese & topped with a cupped hash brown made to be filled with lashings of your Gravy side, all in a glazed bun. Served with a Mini Fillet, Fries, a Gravynnaise™ dip & drink.

it'd be pretty cool if they served that "Gravynnaise™ dip & drink" with an oxford comma too

https://www.redlobster.com/news-press/press/2020/09/15/red-lobster-and-pepsico-kick-off-new-relationship-with-thedew-garita---the-first-official-mtn-dew-cocktail

The DEW Garita pairs perfectly with Red Lobster’s iconic Cheddar Bay Biscuits®. Made using a top-secret recipe, the refreshingly fun cocktail will begin rolling out to select Red Lobster restaurants in September and will be available nationwide by the end of 2020. The Red Lobster and PepsiCo innovation teams are also working together to leverage iconic PepsiCo brands across the Frito-Lay and Quaker range of products to co-create tasty menu items.

Whatever could be the ingredients in this Mountain Dew margarita?

love the name Gravynnaise™

https://burgerlad.com/kfc-christmas-gravy-burger/

https://burgerlad.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Christmas-Gravy-Burger-5.jpeg

Oh no...

someone shat on a zinger

...12th Street and Vine

Take out the KC and you only get Ffffffff

Xp:

can’t believe I’m posting this but you can recreate the Mexican pizza at a cheaper price by ordering a tostada with no chipotle sauce/lettuce and adding a side of beef. or maybe it’s two tostadas? I need to ask my partner.
― brimstead, Friday, November 13, 2020 3:00 AM (two weeks ago)

Unfortunately, the Spicy Tostada also got the ax earlier this year during the first round of cuts (when they eliminated all the potato items)

"unfortunately"

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/shave-the-date-mcdonalds-is-giving-away-10-000-free-mcrib-sandwiches-to-fans-who-shave-their-facial-hair-301181359.html

“Our bearded fans know… facial hair and the McRib just don’t mix—believe me, I’ve tried,” said Vice President of U.S. Communications, David Tovar. “With the nationwide return of the McRib, we’re helping fans enjoy every delectable moment by encouraging them to shave for a chance to win a free McRib. And we’re excited this year to partner with No-Shave November, a charity that knows a thing or two about facial hair.”

In recognition of those who’ve grown a little scruff for a cause this month, we’re collaborating with No-Shave November—a non-profit organization devoted to fundraising for cancer research, prevention, and education—for some added good. Just buy a McRib on Dec. 2 and your purchase will help support our donation to the charity’s cancer initiatives.

“No-Shave November is a month-long journey where we ask participants to put down their razors and ‘get hairy’ in the name of cancer awareness,” said Senior Executive Director of No-Shave November, Monica Hill. “We’re thrilled McDonald’s is supporting this important cause, getting both the bearded and the non-bearded involved beyond November simply by purchasing a McRib.”

i don't wanna know what they're going to do to commemorate No Nut November

That's why the McFlurry machine is broken

Dream Journal: McDonald's exec infantalizes customers, wanting them clean-shaven before "heading back to McRib."

https://www.fsrmagazine.com/content/virtual-dining-concepts-launches-marios-tortas-lopez-and-pauly-ds-italian-subs

“The power of celebrity Virtual Dining Concepts provides is an added value for restaurateurs across the country,” says Robert Earl, co-founder of Virtual Dining Concepts. “Similar to Tyga, Mario Lopez and DJ Pauly D come in as partners, playing an active role in marketing and promoting their brands to their millions of followers, driving revenue to the restaurants.”

Kentucky Fried Chicken® and Lifetime® are teaming up to bring consumers the perfect distraction from all things 2020: the holiday Lifetime Original Mini-Movie, "A Recipe for Seduction." Featuring veteran actor and star of Lifetime's FelizNaviDAD Mario Lopez as Colonel Harland Sanders, the first-of-its kind 15-minute Lifetime Original Mini-Movie is full of mystery, suspense, deception, "fowl" play and - at the heart of it all - love and fried chicken. "A Recipe For Seduction" premieres on Lifetime Sunday, December 13 at 12 p.m. ET/PT.

To enhance the viewing experience of deep-fried holiday romance, consumers can order KFC on Uber Eats for delivery and get six free extra crispy™ tenders with a $20 purchase or more.* While enjoying the delicious taste of the Colonel's secret 11 Herbs & Spices, viewers can share in all the drama of this steamy holiday love affair as they watch a young heiress contend with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. But when a handsome, young chef with a secret fried chicken recipe and a dream arrives, he sets in motion a series of events that unravel the mother's devious plans.

"We're no stranger to heating things up for the holidays, just like our famous fried chicken scented Firelog. But let's face it, we could all use a little distraction this holiday season, so why not fill some of your time at home with a suspenseful drama and the comfort of our world-famous fried chicken?" said Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO. "'A Recipe for Seduction' is a perfect excuse to curl up at home and escape to your own happily ever after."

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/kfc-and-lifetime-heat-up-the-holidays-with-a-first-of-its-kind-lifetime-original-mini-movie-a-recipe-for-seduction-301186727.html

sheesh

so it's just like a 15-minute narrative commercial? zzz. give me the movie "starring Coca-Cola" from Maxx Barry's Syrup or nothing at all.

desperate times we live in

"A+E Networks delivers custom creative that our audiences and clients love."

Marketing language is fucking bizarre.

GETTING PAAAAAAAIIIIIIIID

Chinese McDonalds is way ahead of everyone else.

https://kotaku.com/mcdonalds-china-has-a-spam-and-oreos-burger-it-seems-1845910426