Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

overuse of referring to people as 'individuals'

dividuals

Makes me think of awkward police officers making stilted appeals for information.

"individual" sounds like police speak to me too

"the wife" -- i know a couple of good people that use this, but i hate it!

better half

ball and chain

trouble and strife

the missus

ugh

All awful. Likewise 'hubby'.

“The wife” is “the worst”

Use her name or leave her out of it

I choose to believe it's shorthand for 'The Wife of Bath'.

"ugh" is just plain rude

‘er indoors

... I was literally just going to post that.

The Duchess of Fife

waifu

i would rather be called waifu than any of the above

I'd rather be a husbando than a hubby, so I see where you're coming from.

'Consort' is underrated.

In Scotland, you hear 'man' used for husband, simple but effective.

Is "a wife" better than "the wife"?

I'm guessing "the little woman" won't meet with much approval here.

In Scotland, you hear 'man' used for husband, simple but effective.

Same in Romanian (we also have a dish that's quite similar to haggis called 'drob').

"our lass" won't get any shrift either!

That's me cancelled

tbf saying "the wife" is helpful for those old rich SOBs who have trouble remembering their current wife's name

Also useful when you exclusively conceive of relationships in terms of Platonic Ideals: 'the wife', 'the friend', 'the rival', etc.

"the wife, the friend, the rival" by My Dying Bride

'…and her lover'

I use "my wife" on ILX because I don't use my government name on ILX and I'm not going to drop hers here either. I could call her Mrs. Aimless, but that doesn't seem like an improvement, because she kept her own name when we got married and she isn't "Mrs. Aimless".

Endless Nameless Aimless

I can't really see what do wrong with my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend. I mean, not all in one go, perhaps.

there's a world of difference btw "my wife" and "the wife"

I call my partner "my Zamboni machine"

I am single.

i thought your partner posted here tbh but then i realized it was just a sock

The sock.

the worst version of the not-present wife I've heard is an acquaintance who simply says "her" and "she" - no name, not "my wife" or "the wife"

like "yes I fancy a pint but I'll need to talk to her first"

horrible

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

that reads as absolutely normal parentspeak to me

Yeah, huh?

When I am talking to my children I wouldn't refer to my wife as "Mother" or "Mom," because she's not my mother. I wouldn't refer to her as "Elisabeth." To me it would be weird to say "son, Elisabeth says you still need to brush your teeth."

"Your mother is coming home soon." "Your mom is at the store."

I don't get what I'm supposed to say instead.

"Hey children, what do you think my wife wants for her birthday?"

My personal least favorite is when my dad refers to my mom (when talking w me) as “your mother”
They’re still married!

This has bothered me my whole life!

my wife and sister-in-law refer to their mother as "your mother" when talking to each other because neither wants to claim ownership

that one's greaat

Still not getting what one should say instead. "Offspring Unit B, I distinctly recall that Spousal Unit One directed you to empty the waste receptacles."

Yeah, my mom would say, "Well, what do you want me to call him?" And admittedly I didn't have a good answer. Yet, it still seemed so impersonal

"Son, I hear from the Hubster that you're not doing your homework."

Is that better?

"the wife" iirc

sometimes when i'm speaking to my little brother i will tactically employ the "your mother" usage just to get under his skin

"you know man, your mother was really disappointed with how you behaved at thanksgiving last year. did you really need to have that much wine ?"

then we beat the shit out of each other

Shenanigans

People on social media talking about what kind of "shenanigans they got into this weekend!" Wow, you drank outside.

xp do you burn each other w "your mother" jokes

no just matchbooks and fireworks like normal people