Thomas Friedman, why don't you break up?

xxp no way, he spends like half his day thinking about catchphrases

i'm not joking at all

i'm sure he heard from a pipe-fitter in Des Moines

...and a taxi driver in Abu-Dhabi.

the slogan that comes to mind was suggested to me by the environmental innovator Hal Harvey. Harvey didn’t know he was suggesting it; he just happened to sign off a recent email to me by writing: “Respect science, respect nature, respect each other.”

I thought — wow, that’s a perfect message for Biden, and for all of us.

so the answer to this sounds like between 0 and 2 seconds.

I thought — wow phew, that’s a perfect message for Biden, and for all of us I might malke this deadline after all

malke?

make

Does anyone have any idea where 65-year-olds and older can get vaccinated against Covid in Maryland? They opened the category today and told people NOTHING about where to go. None of this would be happening if Larry Hogan were governor.

— Thomas L. Friedman (@tomfriedman) January 25, 2021

None of this would be happening if Larry Hogan were governor.

Nice use of ambiguity there, Tom.

pls someone give Tom the placebo vaccine. please.

ask your driver

Kids, this is what it was like. pic.twitter.com/BlWrjCe8LL

— mattgallagher0 (@MattGallagher0) August 20, 2021

middle east expert thomas friedman

i can't fucking BELIEVE i read the world is flat

"It's far away."

The World is Flat is from 2005. i wonder if afghanistan opened him up to that? he was like, wait a second, the world IS far away. and it is also flat

hey there, lorryman! how flat are these roads, to you?

"interesting...he uses technology and it changes how he operates"

nexts day's column:

MY FACE IS LIKE A WALRUSMAN

I’m rereading this line and contorting my face in a number of ways

Check the map. It’s far away.

*checks the map. checks the scale. confirms far*

thomas friedman spins the globe. around and around it goes. he puts the finger on it and stops it on the other side, right on afghanistan. he checks the scale

he furiously pulls out his palm pilot and with quaking hands writes a note to remember for the morning: "it's far away"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4roxM8hUMk

Aghanistan...istan so far away

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UofYl3dataU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyK1bZZ7E-s

It is beyond my powers of imagination that "give war a chance" was ever written or published unironically.

is he dead yet

He was awarded the 2002 Pulitzer Prize for Commentary "for his clarity of vision, based on extensive reporting, in commenting on the worldwide impact of the terrorist threat".

This is Afghanistan we're talking about. Check the map. It's far away.

https://i.imgur.com/acTZjmp.png

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIIxlgcuQRU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwFaSpca_3Q

This is his super villain speech

The world is bubble

i was going to post that speech but i felt too much second hand embarrassment to even copy the link once i looked it up

http://i.imgur.com/fKBZsdw.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/IsYX0BS.png

But what if humanity tried giving war a chance? Has anyone thought of that?

war, while it poses many downsides, has been responsible for many advances. the drone technology that was developed to fight terrorism in the middle east has been adapted to deliver amazon packages to consumers. so overall, a complicated issue, not 'all good' or 'all bad'.

war - what if it's good for some people

commercial innovation per war death is higher than innovation per civilian death

there is a common perception that companies are REQUIRED to maximize profit over all other prioritized. although i have skimmed a full page of google search results of op-eds suggesting that it isn't technically true, let's face, it's fucking true

My colostomy bag is smarter and has more nuance than Thomas Friedman

not a joke, incredibly

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FDHYQpvVQAQKdH5?format=jpg&name=small

I saw that today and actually burst out laughing in bed, waking up my partner in the process.

Friedman started coasting so long ago he came to a complete standstill in 2010

by 2015 he was encrusted with fungus

“i’m sure they would buddy! hey have you cleaned your room yet?” https://t.co/H0mcU6ggdw

— edie (@multiplebears) November 1, 2021

We’ve never seen this tactic before from Beijing: We’ll clean our air, but only if you let us buzz Taiwan’s airspace and choke off the air of freedom in Hong Kong.

He is so good at metaphors.

The earth is FLAT, don't you know.

My column: Biden-Cheney 2024? https://t.co/T3OaMtWbhC

— Thomas L. Friedman (@tomfriedman) January 12, 2022