Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Fuck you pic.twitter.com/vDSfK361bw

— Shrieking Tinman (@phased_bemused) June 23, 2020

Love to see the phrase "wee wee wee" on something I'm about to drink

I just opened up a new pack of uncompostable, non-biodegradable trash bags, from a regular degular brand (Brabantia) and when I unfolded the first one I saw that it had words written on the side:

“MAKING ROOM FOR BIGGER DREAMS”

what??

Xp
What a truly horrible label, it probably isn't true innocent smoothies aesthetic, but seriously what kind of a wanker would do that to a malbec?

The Southern Impact Team were excited on Friday and making preparations to celebrate National Onion Day on the Saturday (yep - apparently this is actually a thing).
Whilst on patrol in the Arbury; hoping to find more onion enthusiasts, they instead came across a car linked to County Lines Drug Dealing.
Whilst the officers had a "spring" in their step, the occupants of the car appeared to be peeling rather nervous.
The vehicle was searched, with several wraps of Class A drugs recovered, a large amount of cash, and more worryingly, a TASER disguised as a torch.
Despite the pair protesting their innocence shallot, they were in something of a pickle and arrested.
There were tears from one of the suspects, and the officers didn't want to keep going onion about it so transported them to Parkside Custody.
During a strip search the driver of the vehicle was found with a further bundle of Class A wraps in his pants, which didn't quite onion ring true with the rest of his story.
Both were interviewed and released under investigation.

#OpRaptor #WeHateDrugsShallot #AllCardsOnTheVegeTable #RingThePolice #PeelySilly #InAPickle #DryYourEyes #StrangePlaceToKeepYourDrugs #DontShineTheTorchInYourFaceByAccident #SOUTHERNIMPACTTEAM

Fuck offffffffffffffffffff

what in the world

lmao oatly have sold out to amazon-destroying venture capital monsters blackstone and their social media team are tying themselves in knots trying to justify it to their many angry customers

(2/3) We know that as a relatively small oat drink company, we can’t solve the global challenge of combating climate change alone. To succeed, we’re convinced that everyone needs to start somewhere to make changes - and this includes private equity.

— OatlyUK (@OatlyUK) August 31, 2020

lol ethical capitalism

but what if could change the system from the inside? and if we get rich while doing it, well... money won't change me! i've got principles!

For a very brief moment I thought that you meant Amazon the company rather than Amazon the rainforest there bizarro and I got a flash of excitement at the existence of a venture capital monster that could destroy them. Then I felt sad when I realised the obvious actual meaning.

Of course, a venture capital monster that could destroy Amazon (the company, not the rainforest) would probably be de facto even more horrific than Amazon themselves, but still it was a nice little daydream for a split second.

sorry 4 false hope, we are in fact still doomed, perhaps even a little more than we were before

Not to worry. If I drew cartoons it gave me an idea for a bad one.

Panel one: Angry protest outside the corporate headquarters of "Venture Capital Corp.", with protestors carrying signs saying "Amazon-destroying monsters!", "Save the Amazon!" etc.

Panel two: Bulldozers etc. (branded with "Venture Capital Corp.") in midst of destroying an Amazon.com warehouse.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eg8cpDMXYAEXpG-?format=jpg

oh my fucking god

think i probably hate a good 70% of those things

that doesn’t even count any more imo, that’s just standard british “relatable” adspeak.

yeah it's not quite cuddly enough but on the other hand maybe we just live in an Innocent Smoothies world now

I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc). Does this kind of thing stem from there, or elsewhere?

It could also be done in the style of 'Fitter Happier' from OK Computer.

interpellation just isn't as subtle as it used to be

krakow i think you could be right about that

if so it's another example of the classic evolution of satirical irony congealing into earnestness through years of overuse cf. every one of coogan's 'saxondale' mannerisms

I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc)

ha, you weren't the only person who thought that:

Choose death pic.twitter.com/ub5NL3Sa3V

— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) September 3, 2020

"Proper bants"?

Proper bants for a proper job

The result of that layout is that I keep reading 'plastic pants' and wondering what the hell I'm missing in the World of Work

listing random shit is not marketing

"What is the DEAL with office carpets? So weird"

1) listing
2) random shit
3) is
4) totally marketing!
5) LYSOL DOUCHE

Love me a buzzword

I did have a little chuckle when I saw Irvine Welsh's tweet.

This is soooo much better. Thanks @TheGreenParty pic.twitter.com/fczDuzBjpO

— Katy Beale (@katybeale) September 4, 2020

Absolutely no buzzwords, boss jokes or proper bants

The Green Party clearly don't have bloody Skype conference calls or Microsoft Teams.

I think the green party is promising you they'll not bant around.

No bants, no tricks.

https://i.ibb.co/r7gjHCP/20200927-164341.jpg

what app is it?

Train Line - like where you check train times and order tickets 🤷🏻‍♂️

lol

it's asking for feedback...

What you’ll be doing at Pace

Taking on and responding to a variety of fast-paced client briefs; from designing a short gif, to creating a fresh animation style to bring a campaign to life
You’ll be working within the design team on exciting new pitches and client briefs, across a range of sectors
You’ll be bringing content to life with bold, stand-out creativity across various platforms, from advertising to social media
You’ll be working with a team of energetic, outgoing folk who are not just passionate about what they do as individuals, but who root for one another in their own specialisms and disciplines
You’ll be part of a purpose-led team that has a real commitment to positively impacting society and the environment
You’ll be having a laugh, every single day at work. Because the Pace team like to laugh, loudly. Just ask our neighbours!

Perks of the job

We’re based in Hull’s creative centre in the Fruit Market. So, imagine leisurely lunch-time walks around the Marina and a cheeky drink after work down Humber Street.
You’ll get your birthday off plus 25 days annual leave plus public holidays every year
You’ll be part of the company-wide bonus scheme.
You’ll enjoy lots of team events
And biscuits (we love biscuits). And coffee. And cake. And our office dog, Tilly.

When do you start?

that's... not the worst i've seen, i'll admit

Working on the loudness of my laugh before I apply

the thrusting, gif-making young laughers of humber street

Just ask our neighbours!

You got a loud laugh, girl!

https://www.fgr.co.uk/news/october-2020/news-innocent-secure-stadium-naming-rights

However, until then - and for one game only - it will officially be named the ‘innocent [insert name here] stadium. The club has even erected a new sign above the main entrance.

“We’ve missed you, Tracer”

no you fucking haven’t. you literally have not missed me. there is a database field that today’s date has triggered, and you are sending me a mailshot to try and weasel a little bit of money out of me to make this month’s figures look good so that you can boast to your colleagues and feel better about yourself on the 6:43 commuter service to radlett you disingenuous piece of...... i’m arguing with software but you get my point

i got annoyed once when an automated station announcement said "i am sorry for the late running of this service". you're not sorry you're just a pre recorded message! "we are sorry..." i could accept.