Great Real Names

Mosher Pit!

Rose E. Thorne

I love that I get paid to study history pic.twitter.com/dYB0OukKgh

— Andrés Pertierra (@ASPertierra) July 3, 2020

Hermione Youlanda Ruby Clinton-Baddeley was an English actress of theatre, film and television. She typically played brash, vulgar characters, often referred to as "brassy" or "blowsy".

Oh the Devon Suckbitches, well that's totally different.

A fourth Ward 6 candidate -- Darla Betzer Bonk -- did not respond to multiple interview requests.

New York City’s health commissioner, Dr. Oxiris Barbot, resigned on Tuesday in protest over her “deep disappointment” with Mayor Bill de Blasio’s handling of the coronavirus outbreak and subsequent efforts to keep it in check.

O Isis und Oxiris, schenket.....

With a name like that I'd expect her to have been adopted and raised by X-Clan.

Kira Florita

https://warontherocks.com/2020/08/the-great-fishing-competition/

In recognition of the fact that illegal, unreported, and unregulated fishing is of regional concern, the commander of Ecuador’s navy, Rear Adm. Darwin Jarrin, has stated his intention to cooperate with Colombia and Peru on both information sharing and response efforts.

The Rural Juror starring Darwin Jarrin, Fay Wray, and Jacques Chirac

Ullanda McCullough

just saw a quote request from "Songee Kwark" :)

D1am0nd Cr@pps

on a roster today.

Was on a GOTV zoom call with this evening with a Sn4z Pi3rre

There was an unfortunate fellow in the Santa Rosa phonebook named Smeggy Felcher. I'm not sure if that's his birth name, but he got a bunch of calls from us in the early 90s.

Guy Forget, tournament director at the French open

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/28/sports/tennis/french-open-tennis-balls.html

also a pretty good player, before my time

i remember watching him play in the early 90’s

Romanos Lekapenos, Byzantine emperor

thought I'd opened the obituary thread and was really confused for a sec

burying the lede imo

Romanos Lekapenos, born in Lakape (later Laqabin) between Melitene and Samosata (hence the name), was the son of an Armenian peasant[1][2][3] with the remarkable name of Theophylact the Unbearable (Theophylaktos Abastaktos).

Artemisia Gentileschi, Baroque painter: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artemisia_Gentileschi

Dear Santa, You better bring me what I want or when I see you I will take your head off. Hoping to get my stuff. Your loving kid, Hexie Bunsclos

Indiana1910

— R.L. Ripples (@TweetsofOld) November 27, 2020

Just made an appoinment with an orthopedic surgeon called Dr. Barry Jupiter, MD.

do u think when he pees on the toilet seat his wife derisively calls it Drops of Jupiter

AnnMarie Y0ung Papa

Mother Puttfarcken

Xerxes Mazda

With pick #60, @ChicagoFire select midfielder Mitch Guitar from @BadgerMSoccer. #SuperDraft pic.twitter.com/UCHdpCnPqS

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) January 21, 2021

Parents shoulda named him Max.

That photo adds a lot to the Mitch Guitar experience

Huge load of goals for FC Den Bosch today from… Jizz Hornkamp

🇳🇱 FOUR goals in a crazy game for Jizz Hornkamp. pic.twitter.com/E7a3WjAWoe

— FotMob (@FotMob) January 30, 2021

not a clean sheet in sight

Actual LOL.

Amazing.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but 'Jizz' doesn't appear to be a common name or diminutive in the Netherlands, so I can't even begin to imagine what his parents were thinking.

I have never heard of it as a name before, but Mr Hornkamp appears not to be the only one. Meet Jizzy-Joy (who's not a witch):

https://jeugdjournaal.nl/artikel/531804-jizzy-joy-is-geen-heks.html

oh, and here is Jizz H. himself, literally complaining about his "dry spell" less than three weeks ago:

https://www.bd.nl/fc-den-bosch/fc-den-bosch-spits-jizz-hornkamp-snakt-naar-nieuwe-doelpunten~a731e108/?referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

(well, to be completely honest with you, it's the newspaper that's referring to that dry spell, but why ruin a good story. can't tell if they're using it in a wink-wink nudge-nudge kind of way, it's completely possible that they're playing it straight. think most of the readership wouldn't have picked up on it either way)

SCOOP: Biden has picked CHIQUITA BROOKS-LaSURE to run the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the sweeping $1 trillion agency that also oversees the Affordable Care Act, say three people with knowledge of decision. https://t.co/9cKKxGqmQv

— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) February 17, 2021

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faustin-Archange_Touad%C3%A9ra

Sorry if I missed it, but I did a ctrl+F to see if anyone mentioned this one:

Sean Biggerstaff, who played Oliver Wood. A two for one, if you will.

Notker Balbulus, aka Notker the Stammerer

He was contemporary with the fellow monks Tuotilo and Ratpert.[3][4][5]

loved the strip where Ratpert gave Dilbert murine typhus

From a link in the lawyer cat thread:

The British geneticist Oliphant Jackson demonstrated this unequivocally in a most elegant series of classic genetic and radiological experiments in a hospital basement in the 1970s.

I learned about this guy while watching the Netflix documentary about the Challenger shuttle disaster:

https://www.c-span.org/person/?judsonlovingood

Winthrop Cashdollar

so, so close to the right syllables for a "Winchester Cathedral" riff