yet again, defend the indefensible: LIONEL RICHIE

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Richie's comeback produced a top ten hit in Germany.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:06 (twenty years ago) link

What's up with comeback records titled "Renaissance" or "New Birth" or "A Brand New Day" or whatever? Is there any more desperate kind of title?

― dleone (dleone), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:35 (twenty years ago) link

"Hello" was crap, and the video was ten times worse. I liked the Lionel much better in the Commodores.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:38 (twenty years ago) link

They should just make a video with the camera pointed at his chin the entire time.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:40 (twenty years ago) link

when growing up, whenever the family went on long trips, there was only three tapes in the car. My mom's copies of Lionel Richie's "Can't Slow Down", Kenny Loggins "Vox Humana" and my scratchy mixtape of early 80s hardcore punk (Black Flag and Dead Kennedies mostly).
Needless to say, my tape never got any play. But I did hear the other two enough times to become intimately familiar with them.
"Can't Slow Down" is a mixture of 60% cloying cheese and 40% astonishing pop genius. (more than half of the cheese is in the songs "Stuck on You" and "The Only One"; Replace those two tracks with random Al Green tracks, and you just might have something.)
Also, "Vox Humana", despite having the most garishly awful album cover in existence (yes...it's even worse than "In The Court of the Crimson King") has a moderately tolerable A-side and a semi-catchy title track that is strangely ahead of its time. Download it from your local Napsterclone and be amused by the goofy proto-house madness. It's "Footloose" as rewritten by deranged extraterrestrials.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

Without Lionel, we wouldn't have the lyric
One mistake and it all turns bitchy,
listening to records by Lionel Ritchie.
I'm not sure if he deserves it or even if they do.
And I kinda like that song.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:23 (twenty years ago) link

Or this verse from a Deathtöungue song:

LETS RUN OVER LIONEL RICHIE WITH A TANK
"Man, his song,
It really stank,
Let's run over Lionel Richie,
With a tank."

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:37 (twenty years ago) link

He wrote "Lady" for Kenny Rogers, didn't he?

― abeta, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:45 (twenty years ago) link

yes

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:46 (twenty years ago) link

WTF?! The video to "Hello"?! WTF?! "Sucked"?!

Exactly! It is the perfect video, the touchstone that will never be equalled in this cynical age.

I really don't understand how Lionel came to be listed as "indefensible" when he wrote so many great songs with the Commodores and his solo stuff was pretty good too.

Still, it did always piss me off that Q listed Can't Slow Down as one of the top ten greatest Motown albums.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:55 (twenty years ago) link

haha!

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 12:55 (twenty years ago) link

No offense Alex, but none of these are attributes exhibited particularly often in your ILM posts. In fact I'm hard put to name many phenomena outside of the Killing Joke that you have voiced approval of.

Then, typically, you're not really paying attention. I have posted favorable comments about a myriad of artists.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:04 (twenty years ago) link

that is true

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:08 (twenty years ago) link

The video for "Hello" actually does fall into the "this is so bad that I love it" pot for me. That bust is SO CLASSIC!!!!!!!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:19 (twenty years ago) link

How could anyone not love a sculpture like that? It baffles me.

― Nicole (Nicole), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:21 (twenty years ago) link

I'm so late in this thread. But I saw Mr. Richie open for Tina Turner at the Garden some years ago. Aside from the fact that he wore forest green leather pants, he was great.

And Matos, I fucking LOVE the Pointer Sisters. I grew up on Break Out.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:21 (twenty years ago) link

you know Tina was eyeing them pants

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:21 (twenty years ago) link

Three words: "All Night Long". Nuff said.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:24 (twenty years ago) link

ahem, five words - "All Night Long (All Night)"

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:27 (twenty years ago) link

How could anyone not love a sculpture like that? It baffles me.

Love the artist, hate the art. ;-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:29 (twenty years ago) link

"I'm so in love with you, I"m going to make the ugliest, most unflattering bust of you that you could possibly imagine! *swoon*"

Also: "Hello? Hello?" "Hello?/Is it me you're looking for?" "Oh yeah, I have a singing rapist in my apartment; BRING IT, CHUMP."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:31 (twenty years ago) link

"I'm so in love with you, I"m going to make the ugliest, most unflattering bust of you that you could possibly imagine! *swoon*"

Well, be fair Dan, she is blind.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:36 (twenty years ago) link

Even with her sight she would still be blind.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:37 (twenty years ago) link

Maybe the unflattering sculpture was her unfortunately way too subtle way of saying: "Stop calling me at night and breathing down the phone, you crazy stalker creep!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:38 (twenty years ago) link

maybe it was her way of saying 'hey motherfucker - here's what you look like'

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:39 (twenty years ago) link

Hahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:39 (twenty years ago) link

OH that's right, the whole "Hello?/Is it me you're looking for?" exchange took place on the phone!

Also, asking a blind person if they're looking for you: C/D?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:40 (twenty years ago) link

Tommy can you hear me?

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:42 (twenty years ago) link

He had great moustache. I mean just a really, really great one.

Also, I like the name Lionel. I think more people should have that name.

― Tom Breihan (Tom Breihan), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:44 (twenty years ago) link

I remember sometime in the 80s he did an interview where he said he was a better songwriter than Lennon/McCartney - ergo, total respect from me.

― Dadaismus (Dada), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:45 (twenty years ago) link

And Goodie Mob's "World Party" is based on "All Night Long [fine] (All Night." That song is OK.

Didn't one of the dudes in Goodie Mob lose a leg? That is totally fucked up.

― Tom Breihan (Tom Breihan), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:46 (twenty years ago) link

Didn't those allegations of abuse of his wife kind of kill off his career? I don't think it ever went to trial, but it happened down around the time his career went into the tank.

― earlnash, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:53 (twenty years ago) link

as long as we're quoting lyrics featuring Mr. Lionel Ritchie: "never been a bitch, so I don't act bitchy / smooth on the vinyl like Lionel Ritchie" from the Pharcyde. that internal 'vinyl/Lionel' has made for many happy moments in my life.

I was a rockin' HS senior when Can't Slow Down was at its peak, and hated it until I realized that that tape and Van Halen's 1984 were completely ace despite the cheese and were furthermore causing me to have an intense sexual attraction to Stephanie C., my grade-rival and nerdy girl friend since 5th grade. Never thought of her as cute before I saw her in a bathing suit awkwardly singing along to "All Night Long (All Night)," and then became a little obsessed with her. The power of pop music!

Um, and suddenly revelatory breasts.

― Neudonym, Wednesday, 9 July 2003 13:54 (twenty years ago) link

"suddenly revelatory breasts" would be a great name for a band.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:13 (twenty years ago) link

.. or a rock opera.

― dave225 (Dave225), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:14 (twenty years ago) link

or an artsy fartsy foreign comedy badly translated from French (it's actually about a bakery that makes naughty baquettes.)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:20 (twenty years ago) link

Didn't those allegations of abuse of his wife kind of kill off his career?

Weren't the allegations that his wife was abusing him?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:20 (twenty years ago) link

Yeah. She caught him cheating and beat his ass. Possibly with a bust statue of his head.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:21 (twenty years ago) link

But I think his career lost momentum for two reasons:
1) Sidelined by Throat Cancer for years
2) "Dancind on the Ceiling" was a load of dirty trousers.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:22 (twenty years ago) link

"suddenly revelatory breasts" would be a great name for a band.

"Phantasized Persecutory Breast" is a Severed Heads song.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 9 July 2003 14:39 (twenty years ago) link

so, no-one is going to defend "say you, say me"? except maybe keith, who mentioned that one couldn't escape its alleged "seductive powers"?

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 10 July 2003 06:49 (twenty years ago) link

i would like to take this opportunity to say that i did NOT say the video was amazing... damn that cozen!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Thursday, 10 July 2003 08:50 (twenty years ago) link

five months pass...

THREAD REVIVE ... why the fuck not?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 12 December 2003 18:52 (twenty years ago) link

I'm really enjoying The Simple Life. There, I've said it.

― Vic Funk, Friday, 12 December 2003 19:37 (twenty years ago) link

Enjoyable, but it's still a mark against him.

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:41 (twenty years ago) link

She's adopted though, so Lionel's genes are not at fault.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Friday, 12 December 2003 19:43 (twenty years ago) link

He had a dream. He had an awesome dream.

― rainman (rainman), Friday, 12 December 2003 20:00 (twenty years ago) link

"Sail On" is one of the greatest songs of all time
though I hated Lionel all thru the 80's
took me til the 90's to reverse and realise I'd been a dumbell

"Endless Love" is one of the greatest duets of all time
though I still don't care for Diana Ross

― Paul (scifisoul), Saturday, 13 December 2003 23:07 (twenty years ago) link

There's absolutley nothing wrong with lionel richie!! wtf??

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 13 December 2003 23:14 (twenty years ago) link

i know!
today at work i put on the cd just to hear "all night long (all night)" and it was so good! and then i was like, oh wait but i have to hear "dancing on the ceiling." oh, and "say you say me." ooh, and "running with the night!"

the video for "all night long (all night") takes the cake though - the dancing cop!

― stolenbus (stolenbus), Saturday, 13 December 2003 23:57 (twenty years ago) link

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