shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Alexandra Petri mostly does satire, it’s basically an onion article

https://www.metrotimes.com/city-slang/archives/2020/06/10/michigan-man-goes-viral-after-telling-rage-against-the-machines-tom-morello-he-used-to-be-a-fan-until-he-realized-the-band-was-political

https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/06/my-little-pony-nazi-4chan-black-lives-matter/613348/

BREAKING: Devin Nunes can’t sue Twitter over statements by fake cow, judge rules https://t.co/JtMpP6NfKs

— Kate Irby (@kateirby) June 24, 2020

"Teens in quarantine are roleplaying as 'Karens' on Instagram, making fake personas dedicated to loving wine and supporting Trump"
https://www.insider.com/karen-fake-instagram-accounts-teens-quarantine-roleplaying-tiktok-2020-6

Lol I have a 45 year old stay at home mom friend who made up a fake FB account (that uses “Karen” as part of the personas surname) to infiltrate and troll a bunch of “all lives matter” fuckos

aces, can I back her patreon

A Teenager Didn’t Do Her Online Schoolwork. So a Judge Sent Her to Juvenile Detention.

this story is so heartbreaking.

And utterly infuriating. Reading this after Trump's 'more white people are killed' spiel yesterday is just too much.

It's heartbreaking and just batshit insane. Fucking America.

is there a thread for realizing, in middle age, that significant portions of your life strongly resemble an onion article

depression thread is on 77 i think

Trump’s New COVID Doctor Says Sex with Demons Makes You Sick https://t.co/NCNiIZ5SYq

— Noah Shachtman (@NoahShachtman) July 28, 2020

that's ridiculous. none of the demons i've slept with have made me sick. in fact i think we all felt more energized

they are good for stock tips too

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-global-race-chevron-idUSKCN24P1Y7

Chevron diversity ratio to improve as layoffs progress

Hire more women guards etc

hire :clap: more :clap: women :clap: efficiency :clap: experts

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/09/arts/television/jerry-lewis-telethon-kevin-hart.html

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ep435n/gig-economy-company-launches-uber-but-for-evicting-people

still trying to figure this one out

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/rbg-mom-joins-satanic-temple_n_5f6b3565c5b629afbe990c15

The Death Of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Pushed Me To Join The Satanic Temple

you should watch the doc Hail Satan! all about the ST

I prefer to have a personal relationship with Satan

another vote for Hail Satan?, it's great

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/sep/24/man-licorice-dies-massachusetts

Well, that's horrifying. I never liked licorice anyway!

tbf, he was eating A LOT

wow, I guess it takes all sorts

pic.twitter.com/RVVauNlIkq

— Mike Pompino (heir to the Dolmio dynasty) (@spagbolshevism) October 7, 2020

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Em0OhgNXEAAjMb9?format=jpg&name=large

ffs

Pig intestines fly as Taiwan lawmakers engage in ham-fisted political attacks https://t.co/QbDp1NY21U

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) November 27, 2020

well done headline writer

KFC launches game console that keeps your chicken warm

Deepfake queen to deliver Channel 4 Christmas message

xpst

Is the “lol bacon” thread still around, KFC swinging for the fences with their marketing these days

https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/07/europe/denmark-john-dillermand-controversy-scli-intl/index.html

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/feb/01/microsofts-bing-ready-to-step-in-if-google-pulls-search-from-australia-minister-says

Craig Kelly's curated list of facebook links ready to step in

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/david-hogg-launching-pillow-company-put-mypillow-out-business-n1256817

https://www.vulture.com/2021/02/lena-dunham-generation-dead-cats.html

. Variety reports that the conservative high-school dramedy wanted to add authenticity to a biology dissection scene with the aforementioned corpses, a creative decision that was first outlined in a series of tweets by a friend of a Generation staffer. This Twitter user alleged that crew members and actors were given “no warning” about the corpses, and the “trauma responses” led to two extras quitting. HBO Max confirmed to Variety that the dead cats were indeed real, but noted they were all “ethically sourced” from a “biological supply company that works with schools.” The streaming service also stated that everyone involved in the scene “was informed in advance” of the “sensitive” cat usage, although they “deeply regret that this occurred.”

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Et9vR1JWQAIKRhw?format=jpg&name=small

okay long lol at that headline

https://thehill.com/homenews/media/538528-cnns-cuomo-knocks-cruz-for-breast-milk-tweet-during-impeachment-do-your-damn

https://metro.co.uk/2021/02/15/joss-whedon-buffy-star-nicholas-brendon-refuses-to-comment-on-claims-14085791/

Buffy the Vampire Slayer star Nicholas Brendon refuses to comment on Joss Whedon allegations as he undergoes surgery for paralysed penis

(I know the Metro is a tabloid but that's some Clickhole shit)

Six Days in Fallujah ‘not trying to make a political commentary,’ creator says
https://www.polygon.com/2021/2/15/22279600/six-days-in-fallujah-interview-iraq-war-politics

the fuck is a paralyzed penis