Your IRL Friends and Their Musical Preferences

friends rool ok

I'm def not as into music as I used to be, and probably suffer more from the inverse. I was obsessed enough in the past that I mostly sought out the company of other music heads (I probably have Asperger's), so most of my closest enduring friendships are with music people. I've lamented having too few friends for whom music is not the main thing in their life, or who enjoy the same activities i'm into lately, but the truth is most of the time I don't want company anyhow. I have newer friendships based on other shared interests, but without the history of shared experiences. But I'm never lonely or even bored. Alone time is what I can never get enough of.

As with most others I'd imagine, there are different areas degrees of overlap with different friends, but there is no one person who is interested in all of the music that interests me or vice-versa.

The two I overlap with the most are a semi-professional record collector who is the most expansive and adventurous listener I know (fond of inviting me over for listening sessions to showcase his latest discoveries), and an electronic musician with a masters degree in music composition who is the most astute (and more inclined toward discussing music we've both listened to for decades). The music part of these two relationships are still rewarding. The latter is probably more sensitive or sympathetic to my diminished enthusiasm, and talk of my current interests is something they tolerate or endure. Conversations always seem to come back to music sooner or later, which I guess is inevitable and even desirable because it's such a huge part of their lives.

The people I know who I enjoy recommending to and receiving recommendations from, are people who still seek new things to listen to (not many do). None of them align closely with my tastes, but my taste is eclectic enough to occasionally overlap with them. I am completely fine with this. I also have a few work friends who enjoy talking about music, but are stuck in bygone eras and it's almost like reminiscing about great meals we've had. There's a guy at work who has pretty wide knowledge of a certain strain of early 90s rock who can be fun to talk to. He's a marketing guy and his only interest in modern music is for use in promotions - which is actually kind of more interesting to chat about than old overplayed rock.

When I was in my 20s, I was really annoying about music. I was full of zeal and would find something new that i loved and just cram it down everybody's throats. Once I recognized this behavior, I slowly retreated and learned how to internally appreciate music, and until I had a kid I've been . This board, for almost 20 years has really filled every need I have for having music nerd friends.

One of my dearest friends sells records and books for a living (Hiding Place Books, look it up), and we share many enthusiasms and also disagree on many things.

I have another friend who used to be on here sometimes with whom I continue to share a love of house and techno.

These first two live in Philly, so we see each other fairly often. Sometimes I get very drunk and listen to records for hours with the former.

Other friends who share some music tastes are far-flung, though mostly in California, which makes sense as I worked as a music journalist out there and was involved in alternative music communities in a much bigger way.

My partner doesn't actively seek out music the way that I do, but he has very esoteric tastes and is tolerant of my blasting weird music in the car and at home. Only rarely does he say, "this is some high-ass noise, please put it on your headphones."

But for the most part, people have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about when I talk about music.

So...what are some bands your homies or work buddies like (but you don't) but if they invited you to go to a concert with, you would - street cred be damned?

For me, it's metal. I don't go to metal shows with my music friends, but when I'm back home and someone asked me to go with them to a metal show I would.

Or, like, work friends. This one work friend asked me to see Peter Gabriel with her, which I would gladly have done. I was broke and felt so bad about it, because I was afraid she thought it was because I was too goth or that I was judging her.

Do you ever just flip the bird at your more cynical peeps because you want to be entertained?

Cynicism doesn't seem to play a part in anyone's decision making anymore. I'd be surprised if I met someone in 2022 that gave me a hard time about certain types of shows/artists not clique-approved unless it was Kid Rock or something shitty beyond taste preference.

I agree, people tend much more chill these days, but I'm middle-aged and some of my acquaintances are still a bit crabby, arthritis and aging / deceased parents and all.

In spite of those things, I meant.

I still feel bad about the Peter Gabriel thing to this day, partly because I hadn't forgiven stuff like "In Your Eyes".

if someone invited me to like, a Taylor Swiftian mega pop show, I would go. just because I don't get to see things of such spectacle often.