Identify a song

Sex (I'm a...) by Berlin?

No, it's not that... The song I'm talking about has more obscene lyrics, with plenty of F-words etc.

And IIRC the vocals were (mostly) spoken word, not sung.

Lords of Acid - I Sit on Acid?

(‘96 extended remix in particular)

No, it's not that either. IIRC the track is by a solo female artist, or at least released under a name that sounds like a solo artist. Also, I think it's someone fairly obscure, not anyone as well known as Lords of Acid. I'm fairly sure on ILM posted a Youtube link to the track, before that I'd never heard of it nor of the artist.

1992, but something off Jeannette Katt's Pink Mischief?

Karen Finley?

https://rateyourmusic.com/release/single/karen-finley/tales-of-taboo-belgian-waffles-the-yam-jam-the-naked-truth/

Synth Punk / 80's / Spoken Word by a Woman / Graphic, Lewd Lyrics

Oh man. I forgot about Karen Finley.

Yes, thank you, Moka! It was "Tales of Taboo" by Karen Finley I was looking for.

You’re welcome. It’s perhaps one of the most vulgar songs I’ve ever heard so it was the first single that came to mind based on your description.

1980s aor ballad with the chorus:

Love you!
*pause*
Love you!
*pause*
Love you!

Still can't find Canadian public TV song that isn't "fool on the hill" but
this is what I remember it sounding like:

https://vocaroo.com/eNtJbpieUJh

xp: This turned out to be Made to Love You by Gary Wright, off of The Dream Weaver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suRgNDS7x4A

In the film Suburbia there's a horrible scratchy punk tune that directly quotes the intro to Yes' Roundabout, any ideas?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMEWO8vNGEQ

There is a song I used to hear in the playlist at my old job, it had some kind of scat vocal and it was clearly the song that satan is singing to himself as he dances around your newly arrived soul when you get to hell. Any ideas?

I strongly doubt it's what you're looking for, but just from reading that description I now have Hell by the Squirrel Nut Zippers stuck in my head.

XXP - Thanks Dan!

Descent into the Inferno by Scraping Foetus off the Wheel?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3tKMo1H4zQ

No, it’s a wordless scat, like “dikadikadikadik-ah-ah” over and over again.

The satan thing was just what I pictured when I heard it.

Korn - Twist

Nope, it was more, sort of jazzy, I think, definitely not nu-metal. And the scat vocals, while not too far off from that, were a little more atmospheric and less intense.

I would have heard this song back in the mid-2000s but I don’t know how old it was at the time.

OK

I could've just Shazam'd it but there's a song that I don't actually know who it is and I hear it at least once a month (at the bar) and at every wedding and it's driving me crazy. It's like indie-jump-up music that has the syncopated feel of "Last Night" by The Strokes (but I think it's older) or "Valerie" by The Zutons (but faster) and has shiny late-90s production. The key lyric is when it slips into a Robert Smith moment and the singer sings "ba ba ba ba ba-da baa ba-da-ba ba ba ba-da baaa" over e-minor into F-major

This is not an admission of enjoyment of said song it just feels ubiquitous and yet I don't know who it is btw

That sounds like it might be The Jam's 'A Town Called Malice'?

Likely 2000s techno / electro tune, man with an English accent saying something like "I'm a cog / I'm a wheel / I'm a part of the machine". I'm almost certain the tune speeds up at some point.

An 80s girlpop hit that was on heavy rotation when I was a kid, a really big track. The melody is virtually identical to the opening lines of Ariana Grande’s “Santa Tell Me”. It’s killing me! What’s that song?

FOUND IT, duh. Amy Grant “Baby, Baby”

The other day I heard the original song that gets sampled at the beginning of this tune, but didn't get a chance to note it down. Anyone know?

Spectre - Covert Dub

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkxjIrRLCsQ