love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

I have so many questions. like what is he going to wear? i hope he left the iron in Durham

i'll be pleased to be wrong this time, let's see

the awkward, abrasive brazen overgrown-whizzkid archetype is a british standard and the public love someone who fronts up, he will come out of today much more popular than how he began it, guaranteed

he'll selectively detail his timeline and selectively quote guidelines and legislation to support his actions then rigidly stick to both until we do the Limmy shoulder slump

yeah i still don’t think he’s getting fired

If they let Peston fuck it up again I’ll be so angry

struggling to remember the last time he didn’t fuck it up tbh

I reckon he'll say he's decided to step aside for the moment, in the national interest, but that the scheduled inquiry will clear him of any wrongdoing.

... Cummings that is, not Peston, though his performance is worthy of a public inquiry.

don't know if he'd take questions if he was stepping back. I think this is an attempt at giving MPs a chance to say "he has answered the public's questions fully and now it's time for us to focus on the vital task of getting the rest of you back into lockdown"

It's so out of character for the charmless cunt to acknowledge other human beings even exist and are worthy of his attention that the whole taking questions thing is so weird.

Hoping for some kind of Prince Andrew special here

Anyone know what time this farrago is occurring?

the awkward, abrasive brazen overgrown-whizzkid archetype is a british standard and the public love someone who fronts up, he will come out of today much more popular than how he began it, guaranteed

Someone has apparently never seen a Mourinho press conference.

Anyway he's going to play it humble and reasonable, the gentle family man not the snarling attack dog. It won't work but it might take some sting out of the tail. Either that or he's just not cut out for it and will make things a million times worse.

when's he on?

nb imago i find him more entertaining than most ilxors but he doesn't exude any competence to anybody except fash mentalists, seeing him in the flesh might even finish one or two of them off

I think he'll say he's stepping aside. The whole thing is such a train wreck now that the only question for the govt is what is the least worst way to bring it to an end.

you think he doesn't?

Boris has a cult of personality around him, I don't see how Cummings would? He was barely known outside poli nerd circles until this. If he had the capacity to form a cult of personality around himself he wouldn't need Boris.

xposts I really doubt he'll say he's stepping down, too much of a disruptor and egomaniac to play by the rules no matter how large the trainwreck

He would need a personality first.

the clip of him flatly saying 'get brexit done' is worth a hundred thousand boris blurts

I very much doubt that persuaded a single person to vote Tory.

/ the awkward, abrasive brazen overgrown-whizzkid archetype is a british standard and the public love someone who fronts up, he will come out of today much more popular than how he began it, guaranteed/

Someone has apparently never seen a Mourinho press conference.

Anyway he's going to play it humble and reasonable, the gentle family man not the snarling attack dog. It won't work but it might take some sting out of the tail. Either that or he's just not cut out for it and will make things a million times worse.

Only parallel I can think of is Alastair Campbell going on C4 News to defend his disastrous sexed-up dossier during his fight with the BBC. It was, er, not widely thought to be a success. https://t.co/uTFE2hy715

— James B (@piercepenniless) May 25, 2020

can you draw a parallel with a literal war crime though? i mean maybe. all about perception

the clip of him flatly saying 'get brexit done' is worth a hundred thousand boris blurts

...and known by far fewer people. "Get Brexit done" is associated with Boris in people's minds, not Cummings.

I mean this is how Power-Behind-The-Throne works man, the cult of personality is around the boisterous strongman, the wonk is in the shadows doing the actual decisions.

I would guess that currently more people in the UK have heard of Cummings than starmer

Cardinal Richelieu is expected to give a public statement and take questions later himself

Alastair Campbell was on the telly all the time, try keeping him off it, the only public statements you ever hear from Cummings is his lame zings when doorstepped by reporters.

These posts are being removed -from the Government’s own websites. @10DowningStreet @BorisJohnson pic.twitter.com/Wl1JNhKOnK

— Joe McGann (@JosephMcGann) May 25, 2020

Anyone know what time this farrago is occurring?

― some infected evening (Matt #2), Monday, May 25, 2020 2:37 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

when's he on?

― Children of Bo-Dom (Noodle Vague), Monday, May 25, 2020 2:40 PM (twenty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Anyone?

Not confirmed yet. Hope he does a May and rocks up to the lectern three hours late before telling us we are cunts

one big difference between US / UK is that a Republican senator or congressional rep would have 7 swoop-haired interns in boat shoes named Swanson to write boilerplate dismissive emails, whereas Tory MPs delight in personally telling the peasants to fuck off https://t.co/22G1YLEsVn

— Dr. Strategy (@inthesedeserts) May 25, 2020

surely by any calculus he should be taking one for the team here. draw attention away. “tank” it, as the RPGs have it. “when advisers become the story it’s time to step aside”. it’s a revolving door. he’ll be back.

really enjoying #CumGate trending on Twitter

I think post-Mandelson, post-Iraq, post-Patel etc. there is very little reason to leave, or bother with the circus of going and then coming back six months later.

If he does step aside he'll make sure to insinuate (or outright snarl) that he was entirely justified in everything he did, and that the public are essentially to blame for anything that happens to them from now on.

Press conference is 3pm

aw i was going to Aldi

stoked for the madness

is the BBC showing it as CumGate Live?

Cum on feel the poise

Two hours late, remorseful, with a shiner.

he's just not cut out for it

I'm not sure what it is here though - like I don't think non-politicians in government should have to have good media skills (I don't think politicians should either but we are where we are)

he's going to be on at 1700

I remember when Campbell did that mad interview, I'm still fairly certain it wasn't sanctioned by Blair and he just veered off road. This is part of a calculated campaign.

Where are you seeing the timing stet?

lol the Telegraph says 4pm, i think they're fucking with us

Starts at 4pm, but Peston starts asking his question at 3pm.

NEW: No 10 say Mr Cummings will make his statement at 4pm in the Rose Garden of 10 Downing Street.

— Joe Pike (@joepike) May 25, 2020

1700 was what they were saying at work but was at 1415 so could have moved.

I see the Mirror is getting a question, place your bets on how many of the below sycophants get one too:

Harry Cole
Dan Hodges
Laura K
Bobby P

Two Darren Grimeses in a big coat