Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

"I can't stop thinking about blahblahblah".
I'm fairly sure you stop thinking about it all the time, now fuck off with your failed attempts at gravitas.

I used that phrase in a thread here yesterday but I don't think I was trying to evoke gravitas!

To be fair to Hemingwayesque editors, paper costs money

yeah like anyone actually uses paper and ink anymore

some people eat them

“it’s an art not a science”

& variations thereof

I am a working scientist. Every month or so I get the urge to stand on a roof and scream "JUST BECAUSE YOU MEASURED SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE IT SCIENCE" at Heston Blumenthal and every marketing consultant who uses a "fact about the brain" to shore up their buzzword bullshit, and every fucker who looks up something on the internet to support their argument and GIFs it with "SCIENCE". Fuck this bullshit. If you feel the need to announce it as SCIENCE it reliably shows you don't know what science is. Same goes for the chumps who think "scientifically proven" is a thing, it's not, it's the exact opposite of what science is. FUCK.

miss rona

our govt's speeches and press releases have the phrase "scientific advice" packed in wherever possible, and then some. I've started to hear it in the "SCIENCE!" way Matthew describes.

pair it with the visuals and faux equations they do produce and it's like an Armando Iannucci pisstake

Quite plainly a ploy to ensure scientists get stuck with the blame when investigations into the mishandling of this shitshow begin.

Science and magic are not interchangeable, not that you can tell people that

The other abuse of “science” is imagining that a scientist’s opinion is “science” and then acting as if it’s some kind of guarantee. Even if you’ve asked other scientists whose opinions are not the one you wanted.

ooh and medical doctors imagining that their knowledge and training makes their opinion scientific, or that they are scientists. Some doctors are of course, but not because of their medical degree.

"Nasally" instead of "nasal". I started hearing this around 10 years ago or so and I have even seen it in a textbook at this point.

xps I really need to get over myself

no you're right, they're wrong

The Grapes of Wrathfulness

"inflection point" instead of "turning point"

just encountered 'evolvement'

Like that pokemon had max evolvement?

disenvolvument

swedish cars: what's inside

the new normal

A newer normal

Bill de Blasio’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

"mercury set to soar"

"too good not to share", accompanying a supposedly hilarious/incisive meme

extra hate if it's followed by a crying with laughter emoji.

"Karen"

rest assured, "Karen" will soon pass away to the land of forgotten memes.

Shovel-ready

haven't heard that one since ARRA

"The 27 Club"

"Whack a mole". Not entirely because of Boris Johnson, only 99% because of Boris Johnson.

'straight-sized' people/bodies/clothing

'theatre makers'

prefer "dreamers of dreams"

Prefer "server"

read the room

yeah. aiui, 'read the room' originated among stand-up comedians whose sole interest in reading the room was to figure out how to entertain that night's audience and elicit laughs. it implicitly describes a relationship where roles are very divergent and highly imbalanced, where the person speaking must supplicate their audience for a favorable response.

I've definitely heard it used at work where "Don't rock the boat" would have been the phrase better suited to the somewhat cowardly message.

i thought it was more of a courtesy / social self-preservation thing. like if your partner's boss invites you over for a cocktail party you should probably read the room before broaching certain topics / making certain jokes.

"read the room" makes sense for anyone who is addressing a room -- a teacher, a public speaker, a person leading a meeting
it's a useful phrase and does not belong to comedians

I spoke of the origin of the phrase, not its present usage, which can mean altering your manner or tone to better suit the makeup of your audience (e.g. third graders vs. parents of third graders), but it seems to be morphing into a demand to alter the substance of what you are saying or to stop speaking altogether based solely on whether people approve of it.

citation needed

i prefer "know your audience"

"Don't grow a pair"

From ilx:

in other "failing to read the room" news:

(headline:) Nancy Pelosi Not On Board With Impeaching Brett Kavanaugh “That would not be my plan.”

― sleeve, Tuesday, October 2, 2018 1:34 PM (one year ago)

where Pelosi said what she meant to say, clearly and understandably, but the substance failed to meet sleeve's approval. sleeve expected his comment to be understood as a call from him for Pelosi to think and say the opposite.

this seems adequate to establish that the useage exists.

no