US Politics, May 2020 — I will never lie to you. You have my word on that.

Texas just had their right to mail-in voting for any reason affirmed, I'm looking forward to trying it

CDC actually posted a revised version of their reopening plan this weekend with no fanfare, but apparently they had to strip out all this language about Communion cups being risky. No shit. That apparently was the line that was too far for the administration.

and social distancing in schools. now the guidance is for schools to distance pupils 'if possible'. well it's not possible. so...... fuck it i guess

Good morning!

life come at u fast

https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/498643-two-southern-churches-forced-to-reclose-after-leaders-and

Two churches in Georgia and Texas that reopened recently amid the novel coronavirus pandemic have since closed their doors again after churchgoers and religious leaders tested positive for the virus, according to multiple media reports.

A representative for the Catoosa Baptist Tabernacle in Ringgold, Ga., told The Christian Post in a statement on Monday that the church decided earlier this month to no longer offer “in-person worship services for the foreseeable future” after confirming some of its families were “dealing with the effects of the COVID-19 virus.”

the people that got covid19 must have been sinners, and their families are being punished as well

it's just like they say, the sins of the father, and all that

Adam raised a Cain

https://www.npr.org/2020/05/20/858600098/progressives-see-coronavirus-crisis-as-a-chance-to-make-big-lasting-policy-chang

I don’t understand anything anymore. Is Nancy Pelosi a “progressive” democrat?

"Democrats cannot stop salivating, salivating over the possibilities for partisan gain," McConnell said last week on the Senate floor. "Eighty-thousand Americans have died. More than 20 million have lost their jobs. I call that a crisis. They call it leverage."

for some reason i instantly thought of the great times when the republicans tried to shut down the government over the tyranny of ...raising the debt ceiling

Leverage to help people you fucking ghoul.

McConnell rivals Trump in the projection game

can't believe they have the temerity to try to help people. this is a crisis. we should be doing nothing

they are salivating over the prospect of helping people. salivating!!

In some idle moments, I find myself wondering if life would be easier to be a person gullible enough to believe every word out of Mitch's mouth.

It might be, but you'd also be too dumb to know how to undo your trousers when you needed the bathroom, which would get icky

fair

the House relief package is being spun in right-wing circles as something that just gives money to abortionists. I lurk on my extended family's FB pages and they keep reposting this and screaming about Evil Nancy.

We sent a check to our local Planned Parenthood yesterday. Women don't stop needing health services during pandemics.

I don’t understand anything anymore. Is Nancy Pelosi a “progressive” democrat?

― brimstead, Wednesday, May 20, 2020 1:02 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

not to ILXors but in terms of the broader American political discourse, she definitely is

A lot of people still see San Francisco is the epicenter of the Loony Left.

^^^Elon Musk for one. #redpilled

Left and right united in despising Pelosi, horseshoe in action

I guess I just figured she was “moderate” because she’s to the “right” of say AOC but to the “left” of “blue dogs” ugh whatever

calling trump "morbidly obese" was sloppy

you can just say it was bad

Pelosi’s a deficit freak, she’s only progressive in the Bay Area stereotype.

No Democrat gets liberal or progressive points for being pro-choice or not hating gay people.

I am still trying to find the right joke about the "protect you potatoes" thing. Rejected: any Dan Quayle joke. Considered but rejected: Arbeit macht fries. Promising: tater totalitarianism.

Help appreciated.

Have you tried working "Freedom Fries" into the equation somewhere?

Well, 'tater totalitarianism' is pretty dang good!

Dick Tater

Original Recipe Autocracy

https://www.politico.com/newsletters/massachusetts-playbook/2020/05/19/special-state-senate-elections-today-safer-at-home-pot-shops-to-begin-curbside-pickup-hoyer-raising-money-for-kennedy-489262

Remember when Democratic leadership opposed challengers to incumbents?

I am still trying to find the right joke about the "protect you potatoes" thing

you've taken 24 hours to miss the joke ffs

Speaking of Q:

Believer in QAnon conspiracy theory wins Republican Senate nomination in Oregon

― jaymc, Wednesday, May 20, 2020 2:05 PM (yesterday)

funny update to this, a day later. now she's saying she's a victim of fake news:

“I’m disheartened that less than 24 hours after my win, my words were already being spun through the fake news machine and taken out of context,” she said in a statement to TPM. “I was not endorsing Q/Anon, but rather stating that I appreciate the fact that there is still free speech in this country that allows for voices – including whistleblowers from both sides of the aisle – that may, or may not, bring to light issues Americans need to be aware of.”

however, she's definitely not a victim of fake news. just yesterday:

Republican Jo Rae Perkins, now the official challenger to Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR) in November, acknowledged her Tuesday night primary win with a proclamation of her solidarity with acolytes of the QAnon conspiracy theory.

“Where we go one, we go all,” she says in a Twitter video, brandishing a “#WWG1WG” sticker with the group’s motto in hashtag form.

“I stand with President Trump, I stand with Q and the team,” she continues. “Thank you anons and thank you patriots. And together, we can save our republic.”

and just a couple months ago:

“For those who state Q is conspiracy, rhetorical question for you; what if you are wrong?” she wrote on Twitter in December 2019. “If I am wrong, then the mathematical improbability of consequences failed! We’ve been fed many lies for years and YOU are too afraid to look behind the curtain. I’m not!”

anyway, i guess it's all filed under lolRepublicans, since she has very little chance against Merkley even before outing herself as a complete dumbass

“Where we go one, we go all”

Don't any of these people realize this is the motto of lemmings?

As I've been saying the last few months, eventually the lemmings find their cliff-top

there needs to be a lemmings 2020 update where the lemmings look at you, the player of the game, and try to convince you to join them and that you're the victim of a hoax

The Model of Lemmings is my favorite Muriel Spark novel!

http://media.giphy.com/media/uRxRLxPbtKf28/giphy.gif

I'm here for the Muriel Spark lols

“Where we go one, we go all”

Rejected Robert Pollard lyric.

going to be a pedant here and ask: wtf does that even mean?

(the slogan that is; I get the Pollard ref!)

I don't get it either (just like Pollard lyrics). Maybe saying "Be willing to stand out, because there are multitudes that agree with you."

that's the kind of pedantry Pollard revels in

"The broken bullshit detector in me recognizes the broken bullshit detector in you"

xp was a teacher tbf

going to be a pedant here and ask: wtf does that even mean?

i think it's just supposed to make the Q acolytes think "there are many of us. we are a real movement and i am doing something important with my life by watching this youtube documentary about how king george was a lizard man"