Top 100 Reasons You Aren't Doing That Thing You Claim to Want to Be Doing

91. I have the focus of a toddler at a Laser Floyd show.

90. so many captchas, so little time

89. It's too difficult

88. Mustn't violate social distancing guidelines
87. If other people are interested in doing that thing with me, they completely disguise that interest

86. My son has just punched the boy we are hosting and now I have to supervise him for the rest of the day

85. Steam discounts/wishlists

84. lingering trauma, unnamed and unnameable

83. option paralysis

82. my stomach hurts

81. Took a nap instead

81. world doesn't understand what is really important, yet

80 and 79. can't count

79. For I shall unquestionably reach the truth, if only I give sufficient attention to all the things which I perfectly understand, and separate these from all the other cases where my apprehension is more confused and obscure.

78. and this is just what I shall take good care not to do from now on

77. The spirit that I have seen
May be the devil: and the devil hath power
To assume a pleasing shape

76. because I got high

75. Because I don't want to deal with the highly likely consequences

74. I suck

73. According to customer service at Post Foods, Waffle Crisp was discontinued in August 2018.[1]

72. I sat down and became comfortable.

71. need to do more research first

70. last vestiges of Judaeo-Christian education

69. If I start doing it, I will realize it's actually difficult and that if I want to get better I will actually have to work at it

68. am not sure how to do it without screaming in somebody's face to shut the fuck up already in the process

67. have to rebut covid19 hoaxers really quick

66. too cool

65. ennui

64. lassitude

63. torpor

62. acedia

61. a missing synonym always beckons

Listening to

60. Can't be bothered

59. At this point, if I start now, it will seem out of character

58. Being a disappointment to everyone makes life easier

57 your mom

56. waiting for Kendrick Lamar to return my fuckin' dominoes

55. Can't be arsed

54. Read VALIS, it’s in there

54. That Vardy lad put some treacle in my boots

53. One of the cats is sitting in my desk chair and he looks too comfortable to move.

52. Paralysing belief that my whole life is an unfolding pattern of self-saboutage

51. Everything is possible, and yet nothing is. All is permitted, and yet again, nothing. No matter which way we go, it is no better than any other. It is all the same whether you achieve something or not, have faith or not, just as it is all the same whether you cry or remain silent. There is an explanation for everything, and yet there is none. Everything is both real and unreal, normal and absurd, splendid and insipid. There is nothing worth more than anything else, nor any idea better than any other. Why grow sad from one’s sadness and delight in one’s joy? What does it matter whether our tears come from pleasure or pain? Love your unhappiness and hate your happiness, mix everything up, scramble it all! Be a snowflake dancing in the air, a flower floating downstream! Have courage when you don’t need to, and be a coward when you must be brave! Who knows? You may still be a winner! And if you lose, does it really matter? Is there anything to win in this world? All gain is a loss, and all loss is a gain. Why always expect a definite stance, clear ideas, meaningful words? I feel as if I should spout fire in response to all the questions which were ever put, or not put, to me.

50. getting out of bed is a tall order

49. the invisible hand

48. the weather

47. getting old

46. lost in thought

45. complicated, but has to do with my parents

44. can't decide if the thing I claim to myself that I want to do is 1) what I really want to do regardless of what anyone else thinks, or 2) I only want to do it to prove to people I'm not stupid.

43. you you motherfucker you

42. can't just do some of it, would have to do the whole thing, and it's not fun

41. no one visits us anymore anyway

40. Because everything I like is illegal, immoral, or--worst of all!--fattening.

39. Because I can't drink to the death of *REDACTED*, if the *REDACTED* won't die.

Because of a gazillion life obstacles. But I am managing to reconnect with things that used to bring me joy that I neglected and forgot about for years which is why I'm doing better lately.

Also not drunk enough