Robert Pattinson IS The Batman

some ilxor worked on a movie with him. I don't feel like searching.

I was at that High Life screening with him and Claire Denis doing Q&A and the exit was at the back of the theater and she was kind of half saying "oh no please stay seated!" as she hurriedly shuffled out. I was thinking, ma'am, I think you're not the one the younger ladies in the front row want to lunge at

I'm guessing he was high
― DJP, Tuesday, May 12, 2020

I knew this would happen. https://thetakeout.com/robert-pattinson-pasta-recipe-gq-magazine-1843422757

^^lol the photos really underscore the sadness/madness of his recipe.

Apparently he's 34 today - happy birthday to this ridiculous weirdo. 

I finally read the whole article, not just the pasta bit, and it is full of gems: 

“He’s not mean,” Claire Denis says about Pattinson. “But he’s always trying to escape a little. He doesn’t want you to put your claws too deep in him. Sometimes I forget, and I’ll send him a text with something a little personal. And he will always answer: hahahaha. ‘This is the limit, Claire.’ You know?”

I both respect and hate him for his attitude towards exercise, given the presumably insane amount of money he's getting paid to bulk up:  

The film studio hired a trainer who left Pattinson with a Bosu ball, a single weight, and a sincere plea to use both, but right now, he says, he’s ignoring her. “I think if you’re working out all the time, you’re part of the problem,” he says, sighing. By “you” he means other actors. “You set a precedent. No one was doing this in the ’70s. Even James Dean—he wasn’t exactly ripped.” He says that back when he was the star of the Twilight franchise, “the one time they told me to take my shirt off, I think they told me to put it back on again.” But Batman is Batman. Pattinson called another actor on the film, Zoë Kravitz, the other day, and she said she was exercising five days a week during their exile from set. Pattinson, well: “Literally, I’m just barely doing anything,” he says, sighing again.

Also that entire bit where he's trying to talk about "Tenet". And can we talk about those photographs/outfits?! Some of those shots are amazing and makes me think that he's prob not nearly as chaotic as he comes across (I'm also only about 75% sure about this).

they were very good self portraits.

I have to say he is pretty beautiful. And I loved his work in Good Time.

I assumed the photos had been touched up considerably.

gq reporter otm

I wish I could tell you whether what I’m about to describe here is a bit, or a piece of performance art, or is in fact sincere—even now, I don’t totally know. I think parts of it are real and parts of it can’t be real.

I assumed the photos had been touched up considerably. 

well sure. But he's also very good at figuring out his best angles even while trying to look appropriately disheveled (in much too expensive clothes). And the final photo of his face projected onto toilet paper feels like yet another masterful bit of trolling.

obsessive batman fan from my high school currently furious on facebook about pattinson not working out (disrespects the role)

Nice.

now is the time for fatman

Robert Pattinson IS in a trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLOp_6uPccQ

Nirvana remake or interpolation of the Imperial March? You get to decide! Oh and Batman's dark and gritty, who knew.

man i am so fucking tired of grim and gritty superhero movies; fuck off and come back in twenty years

WB packing a pandemic's worth of bad content into one day

"fuck off and come back in twenty years"

ffs show some consideration, some of us might not have topped ourselves or died off by then!

in twenty years every movie will either be a batman movie or a spiderman movie

The first time I saw the "?0?1" I didn't think those were meant to be "2"s, I thought they were literally placeholders. "Like, who knows when this movie is even coming out, ?0?!?"

Thought maybe the revive was for the announcement that Batffleck will be making another appearance in the Flash movie no one asked for. Because you can never have enough different Batmen running around.

"An All-Star Cast In...TOO MANY BATMEN!"

Keaton's Batman is in it too

Let’s see them get Kilmer and Clooney in it.

Bale is back as regular Batman AND Fat Batman, just because.

when the dust is settled, we'll have seen 27 different Marthas die by gunshot, and 27 different sets of pearls hit the ground

all of us are to blame. no one is to blame.

can't they just stop making all superhero movies?

Net zero superheroes by 2027 it needs to happen

they can get a head start by wiping existing movies

there might be net zero people in 2027 so

they're gonna start going through all the old movies and making them batman or spiderman movies

vertigo? that's a batman movie now. the killing of a chinese bookie? that's a spiderman

batman begins? strangely, that's a spiderman

r-pattz in dark eyeliner and eyeshadow <3

but everything else about this looks terrible.

12 Angry Batmen

TS: Batmen vs Batsman

This thing is only 25% filmed, but they're already releasing a trailer...massive confidence or barely masked panic?

Eh, they've got a year. Which means they've got enough time to recast Batman with Jason Bateman. Or hell, Justine Bateman.

just once i want the leather masked dipshit to take a punch at the scoffing punk and then have the scoffing punk step aside and leave leather masked dipshit wildly swinging at the air and then throwing a tantrum.

just the most toxic power fantasies, constantly supporting the idea that one properly trained asshole can take on a mob or the state

cobain would've absolutely hated all this shit of course

with the lights out
it's real gritty
it's too bad the
movie's shitty

Now I'm imagining the trailer soundtracked by Weird Al's "Smells Like Nirvana."

Someone should seriously replace it with a slowed down, menacing version of that.

Nah, just keep it as is. Let the ridiculousnessness shine.

Release the Weird Cut!

As Jess H pointed out over on Twitter, Weird Al IS canon:

https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Weird_Al_Yankovic

even in his best efforts to include everything in Zur-En-Arrh hallucination-induced canon, Morrison didn't go as far as a TV cartoon adaptation of Harvey Kurtzman's 1950s MAD parody, or Scooby-Doo https://braveandbold.fandom.com/wiki/Bat-Mite_Presents:_Batman%27s_Strangest_Cases!

i hope pattinson stays good and interesting after this, that's all.

black on black on black is so tired rn

come back joel, all is forgiven
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6gACml4h0