Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

My god, the PUNCTUATION alone on that thing...

we want you to nom nom it too

This is egregious and repulsive.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/ea2ce9989bdb99314d2956e393ee1efa/2e10d4dbf36cea57-c7/s1280x1920/d24c3034242f8e21eba8625ffcc9874d66f5f149.jpg
https://66.media.tumblr.com/7f19b8d39a829000b9ac42f2d27835f5/2e10d4dbf36cea57-5c/s1280x1920/741e0ce5152ccc61d1d9618bfde297718daa53a4.jpg

jesus christ

what

wasn't expecting this, went to order directly from Dodax to avoid Amazon .
" Your order has been placed!
You did everything right, now it’s on us to verify and process. Checking the arrival of your payment and other boring stuff we’re glad our bookkeeping department does it for us. As soon as we have their GO we’ll go.
We appreciate your trust in our nimbly hands and promise we’ll do our best to send your items soonest possible. One item is ready, one item gets the move on! (Perhaps devided into several shipments.)
Below you can see a short summarization of your order – aka anticipation list.
As soon as your items are leaving our hands you’ll receive another notification. "

That is that aesthetic isn't it?

oh yes

among outdoor product retailers, moosejaw.com also fully subscribes to this tweeness-used-as-a-joke-without-humor aesthetic.

'our nimbly hands' fuck right off

for the sake of my mental health, i do not want to read the word "awesomesauce" in the context of a psychotherapy practice

Wackaging is a new term for me but this fits the bill

Is there any sector so sullied by #wackaging as the granola industry? What is it about the hawking of clustered oats that provokes such purple prose? pic.twitter.com/EbsjOzSHdh

— Max Tundra (@MaxTundra) May 29, 2020

ugh I want to smash that box

The word "wackaging" makes me ill. It's somehow nearly as bad as the thing itself.

White guys of a certain age who love old school Hip Hop are up there with aging Wellers

The package design and branding messaging on it are not appealing to me, but Max Tundra does not know what "purple prose" is. This example doesn't land anywhere close to "purple prose".

the only purple prose is his text !

this isn't exactly the right thread, but does anybody feel like helping me pinpoint real-world examples of the creepy faux-rustic aesthetic of Village Brand food in number six's kitchen ? do we have a thread where we talk about the conspicuous inconspicuousness of generic brands that evoke ye olde general store / simpler times and feature uber-simple / sleek design + crude cutesy drawings of benevolent objects ?

https://i.imgur.com/bxbkOCH.png

trader joe's sort of ?

http://fuel-design.com/publishing/own-label/

http://fuel-design.com/media/_/own-label/218-219.jpg.1200x800_q90.jpg

johnny trunk had a similar book out as well iirc. something about biscuits.

lol, that was the trunk book.

that egg is from the late '50s I don't want to nom nom it

xp thanks koogs

these are the trunk biscuits i was thinking of (a cd of jingles)

https://www.trunkrecords.com/turntable/biscuits.shtml

The Sainsburys archive is great. Sure we were discussing it somewhere.
https://www.sainsburyarchive.org.uk/timeline/150

https://www.imgur.com/QILYj9k.jpeg

oh my god FUCK OFF

I'm sure the Bangladeshi sweatshop workers making their jackets appreciate that message 🙃

Twattery of the highest order, Coco Pops possibly the worst single infringement

Altho urging people to read as if any old shite is somehow improving always gets a rise out of me too

the fake-working-class remember-the-80s aspects of the ISA grind my gears, but "drink good coffee" is real mask off stuff.

Fuck you pic.twitter.com/vDSfK361bw

— Shrieking Tinman (@phased_bemused) June 23, 2020

Love to see the phrase "wee wee wee" on something I'm about to drink

I just opened up a new pack of uncompostable, non-biodegradable trash bags, from a regular degular brand (Brabantia) and when I unfolded the first one I saw that it had words written on the side:

“MAKING ROOM FOR BIGGER DREAMS”

what??

Xp
What a truly horrible label, it probably isn't true innocent smoothies aesthetic, but seriously what kind of a wanker would do that to a malbec?

The Southern Impact Team were excited on Friday and making preparations to celebrate National Onion Day on the Saturday (yep - apparently this is actually a thing).
Whilst on patrol in the Arbury; hoping to find more onion enthusiasts, they instead came across a car linked to County Lines Drug Dealing.
Whilst the officers had a "spring" in their step, the occupants of the car appeared to be peeling rather nervous.
The vehicle was searched, with several wraps of Class A drugs recovered, a large amount of cash, and more worryingly, a TASER disguised as a torch.
Despite the pair protesting their innocence shallot, they were in something of a pickle and arrested.
There were tears from one of the suspects, and the officers didn't want to keep going onion about it so transported them to Parkside Custody.
During a strip search the driver of the vehicle was found with a further bundle of Class A wraps in his pants, which didn't quite onion ring true with the rest of his story.
Both were interviewed and released under investigation.

#OpRaptor #WeHateDrugsShallot #AllCardsOnTheVegeTable #RingThePolice #PeelySilly #InAPickle #DryYourEyes #StrangePlaceToKeepYourDrugs #DontShineTheTorchInYourFaceByAccident #SOUTHERNIMPACTTEAM

Fuck offffffffffffffffffff

what in the world

lmao oatly have sold out to amazon-destroying venture capital monsters blackstone and their social media team are tying themselves in knots trying to justify it to their many angry customers

(2/3) We know that as a relatively small oat drink company, we can’t solve the global challenge of combating climate change alone. To succeed, we’re convinced that everyone needs to start somewhere to make changes - and this includes private equity.

— OatlyUK (@OatlyUK) August 31, 2020

lol ethical capitalism

but what if could change the system from the inside? and if we get rich while doing it, well... money won't change me! i've got principles!

For a very brief moment I thought that you meant Amazon the company rather than Amazon the rainforest there bizarro and I got a flash of excitement at the existence of a venture capital monster that could destroy them. Then I felt sad when I realised the obvious actual meaning.

Of course, a venture capital monster that could destroy Amazon (the company, not the rainforest) would probably be de facto even more horrific than Amazon themselves, but still it was a nice little daydream for a split second.

sorry 4 false hope, we are in fact still doomed, perhaps even a little more than we were before

Not to worry. If I drew cartoons it gave me an idea for a bad one.

Panel one: Angry protest outside the corporate headquarters of "Venture Capital Corp.", with protestors carrying signs saying "Amazon-destroying monsters!", "Save the Amazon!" etc.

Panel two: Bulldozers etc. (branded with "Venture Capital Corp.") in midst of destroying an Amazon.com warehouse.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eg8cpDMXYAEXpG-?format=jpg

oh my fucking god

think i probably hate a good 70% of those things

that doesn’t even count any more imo, that’s just standard british “relatable” adspeak.

yeah it's not quite cuddly enough but on the other hand maybe we just live in an Innocent Smoothies world now

I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc). Does this kind of thing stem from there, or elsewhere?

It could also be done in the style of 'Fitter Happier' from OK Computer.