love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Big fuck up from Hancock on PPE today. Blaming NHS workers for misusing the meagre resources they have isn't going to reassure the public when the one thing that is almost certain to incite mass panic is the idea of doctors and nurses dying in their droves.

when you see the National Lottery adverts bragging about food banks and such, and remember the arguments when the Lottery was set up, and the promises about how the money raised would be for "luxury extras", you get a pretty clear picture of how far this country's fallen in 20-odd years

"28000 people might starve to death this summer. That is why it is very important that you keep buying those scratchcards."

It'll be a point of national pride to starve rather than accept outside help, in the unlikely event anyone offers. You wonder if the Tories are secretly relieved that Johnson isn't around to fuck the press conferences up even further. At least this way they can send out the cannon-fodder underlings to tell everyone the bad news.

I've stopped watching the pressers. Is anyone asking if the current strategy differs from OG Herd Immunity in anything other than timescales?

Testing still isn't RAMPING UP™ * in any meaningful way and tracking seems to be non-existent. In the absence of cures or vaccines all this other shit is basically slightly fewer people dying and stretched over months rather than weeks.

*I previously considered staying on the news channels and playing the RAMPING UP drinking game. I'd already be dead by now if I did.

Neighbourhood groups moving on from shaming sunbathers to shaming photographers who are supposedly editing images to look like ppl are closer than they are (i.e. posting pictures of random people with cameras). Impressive lateral move in the snitching championships.

ramping up v flattening the curve drinking bingo = spending entire lockdown in alcohol induced coma.

sounds like a plan

just did my weekly trip to Booker and Sainsbury's, the latter had a looooong queue outside, the couple in front were told "you must not shop together or you will be removed from the store" - have now disinfected everything or removed it from its packet, just took 2.5 hours in total, this is life now I suppose.

My neighbourhood's WhatsApp group has been fine, but I guess Cambridge is a bit different. Nobody even mentioned Boris.

mine has been very business-like, almost all queries abt how to help and answers to the queries, plus links to info, plus occasional "this person needs hello does anyone live nearby" stuff. a couple of swerves towards "clap for boris" and "actually the tories are good" have been instantly and roundly squelched

why yes i do live in hackney why do you ask

the islington one has apparently been tetchier? but my info there is secondhand

turned on Any Questions on R4 and someone was asking "Does the coronavirus prove god doesn't exist?"

POLL

what the fuck is wrong with people?

@thetimes Maybe you want to reconsider this article considering @caitlinmoran spent most of yesterday afternoon loudly breaking the lock down rules in my neighbour's garden pic.twitter.com/rAqyvGT0t9

— Simon Thompson (@sthompingground) April 11, 2020

Caitlin Moran: This lockdown is a piece of piss when you break it to go to a pals house.

coming soon from Brendan O'Neill: People Breaking the Lockdown are the Real Heroes

https://img.memecdn.com/Get-a-Brain-Morans_fb_93213.jpg

i used to have tons of time for Caitlin but she seems like a test run for Jess Phillips nowadays

speaking of which, a reminder of happier times

Is this the same Catlin Moran who got labour MP Jess Phillips to sort her passport out for her? pic.twitter.com/ZiDTLbFyXL

— unproductive & sad (@MarkEssen) April 11, 2020

clown news

Not sure why it's happening. But there's now a concerted and co-ordinated attempt to negatively shift the narrative on the Government's handling of this crisis. I suspect it's because we're nearing the peak, and there are some signs the strategy's working.

— (((Dan Hodges))) (@DPJHodges) April 11, 2020

i cannot fathom the depths of that cretin's perfidy

Assuming the strategy was 1000+ people dying every day to save money on PPE, then yes

Katie Puckrik weighs in on the Moran Twitter thread if anyone's interested

Not loving the Cultural Revolution-style snitchery, here.

— Katie Puckrik (@KatiePuckrik) April 11, 2020

Lol exposing the sanctimonious bullshit of a Murdoch columnist is very comparable with the cultural revolution!

Puckrick is my friend and stuck up for me on another person’s FB thread - the person being critical of me going out at all was not aware that WC1 and most of zone 1 is an absolute ghost town to the point where there’s empty squares, no queues and a handful of people out at any given time. Also I live alone and am not willing to have deliveries unless a) I get miss rona and b) it’s a local friend dropping milk off in that situation.

Also, while we are here, and without naming names, why do melts consider Jeremy Corbyn ‘arrogant’? IDGI.

trying to make them recognise their own privilege? god knows tbh

I still think Puckrik is talking a load of shite. Highly paid Murdoch columnist writes piece saying lockdown is a piece of piss, whilst considering themselves quite above the rules of the lockdown is a very deserving candidate for derision and contempt imo. You know she is isn't literally getting struggle sessioned, people are just saying she's a hypocritical bullshit merchant on twitter. And that is correct.

Fucking hell they've dug Patel out from beneath her rock for today's briefing, tell the gammon!

she says they've done 300,034,974,000 tests.. that is impressive.

we're doing great numbers, great numbers of tests, very clever doctors are telling me they've never seen such great numbers, really good tests, everybody's saying how good the tests are [fade to theme from Casualty]

Catmo is a total hypocrite obvs.

Patel can presumably come out of storage as her bullying report, which was meant to come out yesterday, has been delayed a few weeks.

i’m sorry if anyone is offended by my burning desire to see the entire british cabinet eased feet-first into a woodchipper one-by-one

Patel, when pressed to apologise to NHS workers over a lack of personal protective equipment, couldn’t quite do it. She said:

I’m sorry if people feel that there have been failings.

After being asked twice if she would apologise to NHS staff and their families over the lack of “necessary PPE” that has been linked to NHS workers becoming infected and dying, she said:

I’ve been very clear in what I have said and I’m sorry that people feel that way.

never apologise, never explain. never give a shit.

can vouch that wc1 is a desert, have been going there for walks as islington is full of dimwit twentysomethings who hog the pavement holding hands and have seemingly not realised there's a pandemic.

what is alarming about the current situation is not that thugs like patel, raab etc exist. there will always be craven lunatics searching for power and with little regard for anything else, but that they can reach such high office and once there have no accountability whatsoever is deeply concerning.

otm, the most broken thing about our wonderful "system" over the last two to three years (and arguably a long time before that but hey) has been the absence of restraint or control on the executive. even the logjam over Brexit was incapable of anything more than, well, a temporary logjam

i mean "decency" and "honour" were fucking bullshit or they wouldn't have disappeared so easily, but the faux shocked reaction of the pundit class to the way that a government can just discard that shit and literally do what the fuck they wanna do given the votes is

i don't have the words, it's not like i ever thought parliamentary democracy was more than a sham anyway

My neighbourhood's WhatsApp group has been fine, but I guess Cambridge is a bit different. Nobody even mentioned Boris.

we had a maybe stereotypical encounter with some irish travellers a couple of years ago. they came to the door and offered to clean and sand the patio, my wife had no idea who they were or what they wanted and said she would ask me. Then the next day they just came and did it, my father-in-law was at home and he speaks no english, he thought they were from the council or something, then they presented him with a bill for £600. I talked to the guy and said I wasn't going to pay it (aside from anything else it's a rented house and I don't have £600 to spare) he was not at all happy but didn't threaten me.

My mum who is Irish herself paid this dodgy lad a small sum to take a few branches off a tree at the front. He had a business card with his mobile number so to her that made him a consummate Pro! One of the branches he carelessly cut took out the neighbour's BT line and before he made a fast exit he was asking if she could give him the card back!

Oh, I remember you saying that at the time (or thereabouts) (if it was you..) it seemed like a dangerous standpoint, but hey I wasn't there. (xpost)

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/apr/11/uk-lockdown-police-apologise-after-man-threatened-with-pepper-spray

More exuberance from the filth

look they only threatened to pepper spray the guy taking food to vulnerable relatives, what more do you expect them to do

"de-arrested" is not a word that tv cops say much

An extensive internal investigation into the way Labour handled antisemitism complaints will not be submitted to the Equality and Human Rights Commission, after an intervention by party lawyers.

The 860-page report, seen by Sky News, concluded factional hostility towards Jeremy Corbyn amongst former senior officials contributed to "a litany of mistakes" that hindered the effective handling of the issue.

The investigation, which was completed in the last month of Jeremy Corbyn's leadership, claims to have found "no evidence" of antisemitism complaints being treated differently to other forms of complaint, or of current or former staff being "motivated by antisemitic intent".

https://news.sky.com/story/labour-antisemitism-investigation-will-not-be-sent-to-equality-commission-11972071

Conversations in which the same group refers to Mr. Corbyn's former chief of staff Karie Murphy as "medusa", a "crazy woman" and a "bitch face cow" that would "make a good dartboard"

love to see that "plurality of voices" coming back to the party and the bullying Corbyn era ending.

well if i was in any doubt about cancelling that direct debit before now