love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

I'm worried if any cops approach me. I'm not good at being told what to do and have been in the cells a few times for telling cops to get fucked! need to practise being calm and not escalating situations when dealing with nasty gobshites.

tbf though when you have someone disabled with you they tend to hassle you less. well this is in my experience so far. obv this could be subject to change if you are unlucky enough to bump into a proper psychofash copper.

Social media has been a great tool for police accountability, in that instead of having to rely on patchy local testimony, overzealous police forces just tweet out when they’re going well beyond the law. https://t.co/sVUjb2GPTs

— Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) April 10, 2020

Uh? pic.twitter.com/4GFUNzGaxL

— The man who hated Britain (@memereference) April 10, 2020

Pretty sure Miliband knows exactly what's going on there.

Meanwhile...

delighted to introduce "Jess Phillips's weirdly horny brother" into the shitpost canon pic.twitter.com/UGkbJ9KHDq

— Charlie (@vampiretraums) April 9, 2020

Is Ed a closet comrade now?

I think he's just enjoying throwing some quiet shade on Osborne. But you don't have his upbringing and like a post like that because you've taken it literally.

I wonder if pervy stalker brother has a cameo in to the jess tv series.

powerful lawrence fox vibes from luke trainor

Since Ed Miliband is in the news, I’d like to remind everyone that his father swore an oath to socialism on the grave of Karl Marx. Imagine being so much less cool than your academic Marxist dad.

— Dylan Tepper (@Tepper_Dylan) April 6, 2020

Also reminder to me that I have a Ralph Miliband book and I should read it, tbh.

you've only got to look at Dave to realise Ed turned out ok

speaking of being less cool than your marxist dad, let’s check in on pete buttigieg

https://i.redd.it/m1gp3eqt3wr41.jpg

yikes

Yeah no offence Matt, but the existence of David Miliband disproves your argument.

xp this thread is a melt-free haven, save it for one if the threads where you can get screamed at for suggesting the Democrats only care about their donors.

oh... oh no

Don't forget this gem pic.twitter.com/1qCcwhJDd9

— Lizzy Kelly🌹 (@LabourLizzy) April 10, 2020

Can't believe a Jordan Peterson fan is a gross online sex pest

journalists and cameramen gathering in brockwell park. wonder what critical issue of national importance they could be investigating.

they will not rest until they have closed down every public space through manufactured conflict.

speaking of being less cool than your marxist dad

https://res.cloudinary.com/dods/image/upload/c_fill,g_face,q_85,w_710,h_355,f_auto/v1/polhome/UK%20politicians/nandy_2_kiezam.png

Somebody should photograph the cunts, sounds like a non-essential visit to me

exactly! only time i’ve wanted to phone the police! unnecessarily crowding up public spaces

hard to believe that a tory would act as if there’s one rule for them and another for everyone else but here we are

The shadow home secretary has urged the cabinet minister Robert Jenrick to fully explain himself after the Guardian revealed he had travelled more than an hour away to visit his parents at the weekend – despite warning others to stay at home during the coronavirus lockdown.

The communities secretary – who has made media appearances urging people to save lives by remaining in their properties even if tempted to see loved ones – went to see his parents at their Shropshire home, 40 miles by road from his own.

It also emerged that Jenrick travelled 150 miles from his London property, where he stayed at the start of the lockdown, to his £1.2m Herefordshire home from where he travelled to his parents. His website says he lives with his family near Newark, his constituency in Nottingham, and London.

Scotland's Chief Medical Officer got bumped for less but don't hold your breath on the Tories doing the decent thing.

1/2 For clarification, the force position, in line with national guidance, is that we are not monitoring what people are buying from supermarkets. This message was sent with good intentions by an over exuberant officer who has been spoken to since this tweet was published.

"over exuberant officer". should have used that defence w jean charles de menezes, ian tomlinson etc

that’s not far off the defence they did use tbf

me in an exuberant mood: hey ho let's crack open a tinny and make me an omelette. a pig is in an exuberance mood. hey let's crack some skulls .. you can't make an omelette without cracking skulls.

Housemate kindly had a friend over the other night. I'm planning a conversation.

It will be along the lines of listen fuckface I too dearly want to have mates over for a bevvy and for all his horrendous, stupid lockdown to be other, but.

I might not say fuckface.

you should definitely say fuckface

Bar Hill Tesco is fucking massive as well, and the big supermarkets are on the ball now with social distancing: limiting the number of customers in the store, guide lines on the floor and all that. Cops patrolling is insane.

But also, if you were worried about social distancing, wouldn’t you want the customers dispersed across as many aisles as possible? “Non-essential” (wtf) aisles being empty means more people wandering around the others. Dumb pigs can’t even decide which outcome they want to harass people into

the harassment is the outcome

Well yes

Xp This is a six bed house too. The dude has tendencies to think he knows it all and has been a bit this way about the lockdown in general. Also of course the dude is a human being

potentially apocryphal but someone at my work said her sister-in-law was given a 60£ on the spot fine by the rozzers for being out to buy wine only

How does this even work? If you're on the way you can just lie, if you're on your way back you say they were out of the essentials you wanted so you just bought this.

good grief. R4 comedy has a new nadir, they have a stand up comedian who is a pig and all his material is about how much of a jolly wheeze it is being a fucking pig!

(xp) "I'm an alcoholic, wine is an essential, offisher."

"Thresher's didn't have any flour or eggs"

Accepting that it’s possibly apocryphal, people massively underestimate how much police power comes from enforcement of laws that don’t exist, people being unaware of their rights and a general unwillingness to not tell cops the truth.

If I’d, say, had a bottle of wine and was going out for another and a cop (or anyone) asked me what I was doing out I would probably tell the truth without thinking

the off licences are so they can fuck off and mind their own business tbf. i realise this is not always an easy conversation to have as the last time i had it (admittedly in australia) i ended up in handcuffs in the back of their van for half an hour while we discussed who was right.

I'd probably tell them the truth because fuck off I can buy wine if I want to

i should add that i didn’t say fuck off. i’m not daft.

ugh the off licences are *open*. what NV said.

I was quite polite last year when two cops picked me up pissed wandering along the side of not sure which main road, but I did insist I hadn't done anything wrong. Grateful for the lift home tho.

This is absolutely bizarre. If you stop people getting calories from “non-essential” sources, you’re just putting even greater pressure on the “essential” foods. https://t.co/o03byqAH14

— mary mac (@marykmac) April 9, 2020

i think that dick's already been called out on his bullshit too

punished boris to address the nation and announce that all covid corpses will be carted off to the soylent green factories and our essential daily calories will be delivered in powdered form through our letterbox by amazon drone starting next tuesday

Can someone explain Milibands tweet-like?