love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

now we are finally seeing a plurality of sex offenders in the shadow cabinet he could have found a position for John Woodcock.

struggling with a mildly resurgent anxiety since lockdown, feel a bit paranoid and anxious about going to the shop, good to see the pigs doing their bit to help

Officers visited Tesco Barhill this morning as part of their patrols around supermarkets and green spaces this weekend. Good to see everyone was abiding by social distancing measures and the non essential aisles were empty. #1732 pic.twitter.com/yE8tkNXSkF

— Cambridge Police (@CambridgeCops) April 10, 2020

wouldn't want to get stopped and questioned for being in a non-essential aisle in Aldi

They seem to have been doubling up on the copper choppers recently as well. hovering about menacingly, reminding you they are always watching you. No doubt they've got plenty of pig drones as well now. I can understand the need to enforce a lock down but some of these wankers are thick as fuck violent sociopaths and they enjoy their job way too much.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSwiucP4_NhyiEWw7G-k2WdDOdnKOQzBOapso2A8x6eHHUNXTEG&usqp=CAU

no days are Good anymore!

What exactly is a 'non essential aisle'?

that's taking policing to psychopath levels of control, wtf are they to say what is non essential?

so it's legal for supermarkets to sell non-essential items, but you can be be done for attempting to buy them? literally days until someone gets busted for kerb crawling for chocolate hobnobs

i'm ok, am feeling much better than i was a couple of months ago and can manage my mental health, but i'm sure there will be people incredibly anxious about leaving their homes *even when they need to* at the moment because of the noxious stew of micro-fascism on social media and every thick copper that amplifies that anxiety because they don't know how to police with consent is making that situation worse

potentially apocryphal but someone at my work said her sister-in-law was given a 60£ on the spot fine by the rozzers for being out to buy wine only

lol remember when people wanted to call out the army?

would be lots of summary on the spot "shuffle off this mortal coil you xunt"-s being doled out

I go out 3 times a day and usually twice with my son. The only trouble I've had was some arsehole painting his fence and moaning that Alex walked too close to him. I said paint your fence from your garden, dickhead. Don't plant yourself on the pavement and moan about someone with serious disabilities walking past you.

i'm really impressed how many people can work out what journeys are essential and non-essential from behind their net curtains

I'm worried if any cops approach me. I'm not good at being told what to do and have been in the cells a few times for telling cops to get fucked! need to practise being calm and not escalating situations when dealing with nasty gobshites.

tbf though when you have someone disabled with you they tend to hassle you less. well this is in my experience so far. obv this could be subject to change if you are unlucky enough to bump into a proper psychofash copper.

Social media has been a great tool for police accountability, in that instead of having to rely on patchy local testimony, overzealous police forces just tweet out when they’re going well beyond the law. https://t.co/sVUjb2GPTs

— Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) April 10, 2020

Uh? pic.twitter.com/4GFUNzGaxL

— The man who hated Britain (@memereference) April 10, 2020

Pretty sure Miliband knows exactly what's going on there.

Meanwhile...

delighted to introduce "Jess Phillips's weirdly horny brother" into the shitpost canon pic.twitter.com/UGkbJ9KHDq

— Charlie (@vampiretraums) April 9, 2020

Is Ed a closet comrade now?

I think he's just enjoying throwing some quiet shade on Osborne. But you don't have his upbringing and like a post like that because you've taken it literally.

I wonder if pervy stalker brother has a cameo in to the jess tv series.

powerful lawrence fox vibes from luke trainor

Since Ed Miliband is in the news, I’d like to remind everyone that his father swore an oath to socialism on the grave of Karl Marx. Imagine being so much less cool than your academic Marxist dad.

— Dylan Tepper (@Tepper_Dylan) April 6, 2020

Also reminder to me that I have a Ralph Miliband book and I should read it, tbh.

you've only got to look at Dave to realise Ed turned out ok

speaking of being less cool than your marxist dad, let’s check in on pete buttigieg

https://i.redd.it/m1gp3eqt3wr41.jpg

yikes

Yeah no offence Matt, but the existence of David Miliband disproves your argument.

xp this thread is a melt-free haven, save it for one if the threads where you can get screamed at for suggesting the Democrats only care about their donors.

oh... oh no

Don't forget this gem pic.twitter.com/1qCcwhJDd9

— Lizzy Kelly🌹 (@LabourLizzy) April 10, 2020

Can't believe a Jordan Peterson fan is a gross online sex pest

journalists and cameramen gathering in brockwell park. wonder what critical issue of national importance they could be investigating.

they will not rest until they have closed down every public space through manufactured conflict.

speaking of being less cool than your marxist dad

https://res.cloudinary.com/dods/image/upload/c_fill,g_face,q_85,w_710,h_355,f_auto/v1/polhome/UK%20politicians/nandy_2_kiezam.png

Somebody should photograph the cunts, sounds like a non-essential visit to me

exactly! only time i’ve wanted to phone the police! unnecessarily crowding up public spaces

hard to believe that a tory would act as if there’s one rule for them and another for everyone else but here we are

The shadow home secretary has urged the cabinet minister Robert Jenrick to fully explain himself after the Guardian revealed he had travelled more than an hour away to visit his parents at the weekend – despite warning others to stay at home during the coronavirus lockdown.

The communities secretary – who has made media appearances urging people to save lives by remaining in their properties even if tempted to see loved ones – went to see his parents at their Shropshire home, 40 miles by road from his own.

It also emerged that Jenrick travelled 150 miles from his London property, where he stayed at the start of the lockdown, to his £1.2m Herefordshire home from where he travelled to his parents. His website says he lives with his family near Newark, his constituency in Nottingham, and London.

Scotland's Chief Medical Officer got bumped for less but don't hold your breath on the Tories doing the decent thing.

1/2 For clarification, the force position, in line with national guidance, is that we are not monitoring what people are buying from supermarkets. This message was sent with good intentions by an over exuberant officer who has been spoken to since this tweet was published.

"over exuberant officer". should have used that defence w jean charles de menezes, ian tomlinson etc

that’s not far off the defence they did use tbf

me in an exuberant mood: hey ho let's crack open a tinny and make me an omelette. a pig is in an exuberance mood. hey let's crack some skulls .. you can't make an omelette without cracking skulls.

Housemate kindly had a friend over the other night. I'm planning a conversation.

It will be along the lines of listen fuckface I too dearly want to have mates over for a bevvy and for all his horrendous, stupid lockdown to be other, but.

I might not say fuckface.

you should definitely say fuckface

Bar Hill Tesco is fucking massive as well, and the big supermarkets are on the ball now with social distancing: limiting the number of customers in the store, guide lines on the floor and all that. Cops patrolling is insane.

But also, if you were worried about social distancing, wouldn’t you want the customers dispersed across as many aisles as possible? “Non-essential” (wtf) aisles being empty means more people wandering around the others. Dumb pigs can’t even decide which outcome they want to harass people into

the harassment is the outcome

Well yes

Xp This is a six bed house too. The dude has tendencies to think he knows it all and has been a bit this way about the lockdown in general. Also of course the dude is a human being