love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Difficult to even muster up a grim laugh about the absolute clown car this whole testing situation has become because all this means is that we're all stuck in our homes for longer.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-52133054

Although the number of new cases and hospitalisations at least appears to be levelling off, although I wouldn't put much trust in the former number.

If anyone needs a laugh, the estate agents are now doing macroeconomic forecasting pic.twitter.com/Z5GGQWuvPT

— Will Davies (@davies_will) April 6, 2020

looking at the uk figures last night, i was pretty alarmed to see that the current death rate is standing at 10.3% until i remembered that the number of infections is vastly under-reported because we're not doing enough tests - you'd think making the percentages of deaths look better would be a good reason to up the numbers of tests alone but like matt said, this fuckin' clown car government can't even massage its own figures properly

They would do more tests, but the government do not have the capability.

They also can't admit to this hence the forever looking forward to a time they'll be able to carry out 10k tests

Mr Jenrick told BBC Breakfast: "We hope that as a result of these tests [the prime minister] will be able to come back to Downing Street as soon as possible.

"He's been working extremely hard leading the government and being constantly updated. That's going to continue."

"I'm sure this is very frustrating for him, for somebody like Boris who wants to be hands on running the government from the front, but nonetheless he's still very much in charge of the government," he added.

This is no time for depressing speculation that he's not at death's door

on my Facebook feed this morning: Daily Express story about the UK being due £350 billion in compensation from China for the rona; meme calling for the gov to enforce a total lockdown because people are scum.

Maybe I need to take a social media holiday

nah i'd miss your fb youtube embeds

that express story is great tho, nothing like an unbridled expression of xenophobia to take the commoners' minds off the uk government's own continued failings

It's quite polite of China not to mention the Opium wars and the Boxer rebellion in every negotiation the UK govt has with them!

These things are not forgotten in China, I can assure you (actually they are used by the government there to dismiss anything from the west, for example democracy, as a plot to destroy China)

Who can blame them?

If this is the degree of seriousness the Henry Jackson Society is now aiming for, long may it continue.

Bur-gone

I didn’t and wouldn’t vote for Burgon, but all the worst cunts on twitter are really weirdly obsessed with him. Couldn’t be me.

They call me melt
They call me right wing
They call me Tory
They call me lame
That's not my name
That's not my name

They call me Karen
That's worse than gammon, laugh at my hairstyle
Just stop these slurs
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name

— Simon Hedges (@Orwell_Fan) April 6, 2020

<3

Hedges has been revitalised the last few days. So many narrative possibilities right now.

Is he dead yet?

I'd expected an EXCLUSIVE heartfelt and tearful story by LauraK, live from BoJo's bedside by now.

If we need An RIP thread to speed things up, y'know...

where is shakey now, when our need is greatest

Laura was being appropriately solemn sounding in her R4 report on Boris this morning.

tfw yr side-piece is at death’s door and I need to report on it

we've all been there

In these dark and uncertain times, I think back to the words of a British military hero I know Johnson has long admired.

https://i.postimg.cc/QCNy3hbs/FD6594-AA-2515-40-EA-B223-3-E1-AC41-D4-A58.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/QCNy3hbs/FD6594-AA-2515-40-EA-B223-3-E1-AC41-D4-A58.jpg

truly our national poet, thank u marine a for your service

This is one of those good ideas that will never happen unless socialism

It’s surely common sense to create as much open space as possible to allow socially-distanced exercise.

Let's open up golf courses to the public (there are 300,000 acres of them across UK) and give people more room to walk and run.

Sign the petition:https://t.co/5g2SwOdr4H'

— Caroline Lucas (@CarolineLucas) April 6, 2020

The golf courses tend to not be where the people are, mind.

Closing huge spacious parks (without actually implementing a full Italy-style lockdown) feels to me like the same logic as reducing the frequency of tube services, Lucas otm there should be more access to green space not less

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EU38AOrWoAAu_jy?format=jpg

Golf courses in cities should be banned unless they're sited on grassed-over toxic waste dumps

I noticed they were still ground maintenance staff cutting the grass at a local golf course the other day, key workers if you are a gammony golf nazi piece of shit!

Golf courses in cities should be banned unless they're sited on grassed-over toxic waste dumps

A lot of golf courses can already (and presumably still) be accessed by the public, at least, partially just by crossing into them from surrounding woodland (done it during a bunch of rambles over the years). Be curious to know just how many though.

Update from my right-wing cousin.

The UK will start to return to normal in the next 10 days after the peak is reached.

If Boris dies this could lead to civil unrest as love him or hate him he is a figure that people can rally around and Raab doesn't have that. If Raab dies too then there is a danger the UK may descend into chaos. People in parks are irresponsible

I was feeling totally chill about the current situation before I learned that Dominic Raab is the only thing standing between us and the total collapse of society.

There's a chance Raab could die?

The people in parks will see to that

Co-raab-avirus

love him or hate him he is a figure that people can rally around

Have seen no evidence of this whatsoever, then again I don't read the Mail or have a Russian-funded Facebook feed

Raab's Power Graab.

Need a walk today, wonder where the best place will be to avoid stop and search and a kicking

i believe this was all foretold in the old testament? 'after the pestilence cometh the age of crustaceans' - domini craab = lord of the crabs

Guy N Smith tried to tell us

The UK will start to return to normal in the next 10 days after the peak is reached.

this is 5G-level thinking

The golf courses tend to not be where the people are, mind.

― Andrew Farrell, Monday, 6 April 2020 bookmarkflaglink

That is true of say inner cities, but not so of other places.

How far down the line of succession is Lord Buckethead?

So in the unlikely event of Queenie, Chaz, Wills, Harry + associated kids all dying, does Andrew become King? Yes I've seen King Ralph btw

this is 5G-level thinking

I'm just the messenger. We're approaching a return to normality alongside a societal breakdown