I hear the LOLs echoing tonight but she hears only ROFLs of some quiet EXCELSIOR

"I'm gonna jack his frenulum... off"

holy lol

a porn parody where they swap penises?

a what now

Initially misread that as 'a pom parody', was cool it.

pomography

Is that like a porn tomography?

I'm cool with turning this thread into ILX's very own collective retelling of The Aristocrats btw.

...Excelsior!

I have never once read "pom" without first registering as "porn"

chicken
tomato sauce
cheese

what’s the problem?

what if... can we make the crust out of cheese

what if we made the entire pizza out of

~edibles~

what if you have a chicken crust, a sauce made of chicken thrown into the blender, and chicken as a topping

I'd chew up a couple of chicken crust pizzas and use the resulting paste as a sandwich spread between two intact chicken crust pizzas

the kfc double frown

this chicken crust looked like a double-thick lunchables turkey circle

of 8" diameter

an oversized offspring of the pizza and cracker lunchables offerings born in hell

and sent up to the earth's surface to lure us all into an eternal, salty damnation

i'd eat the fish finger pizza too fwiw

the box advertised 3 cheeses but the flavor was one: cheddar. one flavor in 3 cheeses.

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/ammon-bundy-pledges-physical-defense-for-those-who-defy-idahos-covid-19-order

oh please oh please oh please gather up at the bundy ranch, true believers

― let me be your friend on the other end! (Karl Malone), Friday, April 3, 2020 1:54 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

ranch covidians

― COVID and the Gang (jim in vancouver),

dang

:-0

yowz

Drag em, covid

cross fell at his feet and he drilled it through the back of the net

just posting this here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwAioMHULR0

if i understand it correctly, if he dies coronavirus gets to be PM?

― ℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 06:53 (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

two thumbs up

don’t make me break out the pendant stick

― karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 6 April 2020 23:21 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

the what now

― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 6 April 2020 23:47 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

of all the words for my iphone to correct, it would have to be ‘pedant’ wouldn’t it

― karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 7 April 2020 00:33 (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

two things can be true at once: (1) the mainstream political media can be, on balance, a force for good in democracy, and (2) it can to a degree be subject to the same reactionary forces that shape any powerful national institution. I know mordy and shakey have read some marx so this doesn't need to be a controversial statement

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:47 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

where you getting those scales from

― ogmor, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 21:50 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

lifted from the eyes of babes iirc

― gbx, Wednesday, 8 April 2020 23:16 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVKVx2WUYAImtzg?format=jpg&name=900x900

https://i.ibb.co/FDJ6scQ/lolflop.png

RIP TB-T. I hope he has his shiny shoes on.

― Jeff W, Sunday, 12 April 2020 12:25 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I think TB-T wrote my favourite joke. Mahatma Ghandi, the spiritual leader of India who rose from humble beginnings as a cloakroom attendant when he was known as Mahatma Coat.

a tribute from a friend!

― calzino, Sunday, 12 April 2020 12:34 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

oh shit that is terrible

― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 12 April 2020 12:59 (thirty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

news

― an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Sunday, 12 April 2020 12:59 (thirty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's a layup but it's a good layup

in chile they have a lot of noticeable copper around customs. Besides it being mined here, I am now assuming it's because of its anti-bacterial properties.
― Yerac,Tuesday, April 14, 2020 2:54 PM

53.6% of Chilean exports (2017). The country used to be financed by bird guano, now its copper.
― speaking moistly (Sanpaku),Tuesday, April 14, 2020 3:30 PM

"The country used to be financed by bird guano"
source?
― fauci wally (voodoo chili),Tuesday, April 14, 2020 4:40 PM

Birds.
― The Corbynite Maneuver (Tom D.),Tuesday, April 14, 2020 4:48 PM

loool

np brimstead that’s just what we assume the usa is like all the time

― Microbes oft teem (wins), Friday, April 17, 2020 3:51 PM (five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Just people screeching around in stupidly large cars firing off assault weapons and shrieking “have a nice day” while cringing passersby thank them for their service

― Microbes oft teem (wins), Friday, April 17, 2020 3:53 PM (four minutes ago)

otm, that's what I plan to do all weekend

really enjoyed this in the theater, haven't wanted to revisit... which is how i felt about the last four tarantino movies? best one of them though

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Friday, April 17, 2020 4:15 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

jesus wept

― calzino, Friday, April 17, 2020 4:16 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

that was my favorite moment in the movie

― Dan S, Friday, April 17, 2020 4:16 PM

lol

On Oranssi Pazuzu thread:

With a bit of luck this will top next week's RYM chart instead of [redacted].

― pomenitul, dimanche 19 avril 2020 17:50 (thirty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

apples and oranges m8

― when I come out, can you introduce me as Jagger (imago), dimanche 19 avril 2020 18:06 (nineteen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Agreed, but part 3 is missing. ;)

Ha, OK, part 3 took some Google Translate to get.

Back of the net there LJ.

https://media.graytvinc.com/images/810*455/marry+me.jpg
― Evan, Monday, April 20, 2020 4:07 PM (seventeen minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.imgur.com/Bre9Jl0.jpg
― a slice of greater pastry (ledge), Monday, April 20, 2020 4:22 PM (three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e2/62/78/e26278b83c96969adfbfa70193e74ad6.jpg
― Evan, Monday, April 20, 2020 4:24 PM (fourteen seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

From the Proposed Buildings thread, for additional lols.

so, I had a friend who was half korean and she and three chinese friends of hers all figured out a trip to North Korea. they were there two weeks and they all got in good with the royalty there or whatever and managed to arrange a hangout sesh with Kim Jong Un. blah blah blah one thing leads to another they wound up in his bedroom, which was apparently a pretty typical thing for his guests. and thats all well and good but the thing is, and I'm having trouble verifying this from other sources, but apparently Kim Jong Un has a serious micropenis. they all claimed when he busted it out it was no larger than 2", and he was fully weird about it, sweaty and anxious, making jokes the entire time. these girls HATED the entire experience. and as you can imagine, left the compound extremely unsatisfied and were not exactly sad upon learning the news about his death or vegetative state or whatever today.

― the burrito that defined a generation, Sunday, April 26, 2020 1:50 AM bookmarkflaglink

what

― silby, Sunday, April 26, 2020 2:15 AM bookmarkflaglink

and the assist

How come we never hear about anyone's insouciant micropenis?

― DJP, Monday, April 27, 2020 6:40 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

its a hard one to pull off

― kim rong un (darraghmac)

Silbys reply made me LOL