love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

I think whether Johnson gets out of this with his credibility intact (lol) or not depends on what happens with the death figures or whether the NHS breaks or not. Looking at the that fucking FT chart we might be worse than Iran but not as bad as Italy or Spain.

ok let's see if i can make it to little Tesco without getting mugged by the busies

i have to admit after my initial burst of amusement my immediate next thought was “ratings”

I wouldn't be surprised if the cunt has been licking hand-rails for weeks trying to get it, he will milk the fuck out of it now.

I'm not sure I follow the logic. Why would he need to contract coronavirus to say he has coronavirus?

TBH this is a magnificent propaganda campaign on a stick for him.

I have a whim to ask "how do we even know" but I guess that's tinfoil hat stuff and tbh it's amazing they don't all have it if Nadine Dorries had it (and some others iirc, but I've already forgotten who was confirmed and what was idle speculation based on them being sweaty and out-of-it, which various Cabinet ministers are apt to appear at the best of times)

talking of things that might make certain ministers appear sweaty and out of it, that dealer text is amazing! did you translate it, Daniel, or do Berlin dealers text their clients in English?

It's in English - I'd wager an outfit organised enough to come up with that text would also be smart enough not to forego the huge demographic of trust fund coke fiends who've moved to Berlin and haven't bothered to learn German.

Claiming he does have it when he doesn't would be a pretty big gamble - we're nearly all going to get it, and he's not going to have an excuse if he gets it bad in a month's time.

xp I am vaguely aware of said demographic, hence asking!

stupid me doing it all the wrong way round, learning German very slowly and badly and never getting round to going to Berlin, which I am well on course not to have done before Brexit/before becoming too old and (even more) too uncool to do Berlin properly

Yeah, this is selfish I know but I just enjoyed getting to say hi to the neighbour at the balcony next door.
― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 27 March 2020 11:26 (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

this isn't selfish! this is good

(and precisely the positive dimension of the clap clinic contradiction that the present binch of a sour internet shut-in gang are allergic to lol)

xp it'd be a gamble and on balance he probably does have it, but Boris can waffle his way out of any old nonsense he's said before, right?

"oh yah well that was the advice I received at the time but it turns out... well it sort of calmed down for a bit but then the symptoms came back, and... anyway it's three cheers for our hardworking NHS (changes subject in a flurry of meaningless 3-word soundbites)"

Claiming he does have it when he doesn't would be a pretty big gamble - we're nearly all going to get it, and he's not going to have an excuse if he gets it bad in a month's time.

― Andrew Farrell,

Can't disagree here, if Boris does end up caught in a lie of any kind it could be quite damaging for him

looool

wp

JUST IN: Queen Elizabeth last saw Boris Johnson March 11 and is following all appropriate advice with regards to her welfare, Buckingham Palace says pic.twitter.com/HQbhaPFK9K

— Reuters (@Reuters) March 27, 2020

jesus that hat is a step more overtly shoggoth-presenting than she generally chooses

typhoid boris

Let’s just see what some of the MPs are up to on inst... ah, nevermind pic.twitter.com/34QBUnH13c

— Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) March 27, 2020

Boris Johnson is lying 💯

— Wiley (@W1L3Y) March 27, 2020

The Health Secretary Matt Hancock has also tested positive for Coronavirus after he developed symptoms on weds night - mild illness and he is working from home

— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) March 27, 2020

Dominic Cummings seen running from Downing Street #BorisJohnson #CoronaLockdown #IsolationLife pic.twitter.com/sYZnOL0fPe

— Nicola Keaney (@NicKeaney) March 27, 2020

Pandemic delivers.

Looks like he needed a crap tbf

viri gonna virus

xp nothing can prevent me from thinking that he’s one of the unfortunates who only shit once a week

that's what a diet of soylent green and ket will do to you

say what you like about boris johnson, but at a moment like this you have to admit he is a racist

— Gordon Maloney (@gordonmaloney) March 27, 2020

Muslim Twitter has weighed in:

I am.... screaming pic.twitter.com/7tZEFPEAVS

— Ruqaiya (@ruqaiya_h) March 27, 2020

Dominic Goings

Matt Hancock has it.

They all fall down.

They’ll be fine

If Matt Hancock dies there will be a national day of yawning

they looked from the virus to the Hancock, and from the Hancock to the virus, but already yadda yadda yadda

matt hancock has an anthology of matt cartoons on his shelves

jfc this deranged hack

@BethRigby
54m
Quite extraordinary in moment of national crisis both PM and his right hand man in this battle Matt Hancock have tested positive for #coronavirus. Obvious questions as to why those leading country weren’t better protected in order to ensure they were fighting fit to protect us

maybe if the pm had properly washed his right hand he and hatt mancock wouldn’t be in this predicament

Corporal Rigby is correct, but we must not panic

Everyone's focusing on the "weren't better protected" bit but it's the "to protect us" bit that's real cloud cuckoo land.

Even when el presidente is asleep in bed at night I don't feel as safe and protected

And you know for a fact that the feckless cunt hasn't followed any of the advice his government has been putting out - as we know from his breeding habits, Boris just doesn't do precautions.

Hang on now let's be fair, he might just have been following the advice from two weeks ago.

Herd immunity begins at home.

Remember this?

https://youtu.be/1IM9jd3XCF0

'I was at a hospital where there were a few coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody' says Boris Johnson

staring at the eclipse level idiocy

I haven't actually watched live footage of him in ages, and I get to seething very quickly.

I don't mean live, you know what I mean.

live in the time of chorona

greater glasgow and clyde still top of the local authority COVID-19 league tables. try glasgow less

Chris Whitty's down! Who's left?

it is the most populous council area in scotland tbf

er, xp