love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Should the PM be incapacitated it has already been agreed that the Foreign Secretary, @DominicRaab, will take over his duties until he’s well enough to resume them.

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) March 27, 2020

well catching it and getting over it is a vital part of building up herd immunity, i for one applaud our prime minister for leading by example and i certainly hope he doesn’t die suffocating with lungs filled with fluid

we're all gonna die xp

TBH this is a magnificent propaganda campaign on a stick for him.

i hope they don't have to put him down like a rabid dog

If he's got mild symptoms and gets over them then no one will know if it manifests itself as just a bit of a cough and he can claim he's suffered with the rest of the country, feels our pain, we're all in this together etc etc.

we will never hear the end of this now

"I beat the rona; I am basically churchill"

unless...

"I know people who work in the NHS who voted for Johnson because "at least" he wasn't Jeremy Hunt ("who would have been a disaster for the NHS") and "was the best option available"."

At what level in the NHS by the way? I did talk to a couple of nurses while on a canvass and it was Labour but I'm sure you could find that disconnect anywhere.

A lot of it is complacency on the part of the public in regards to the NHS with Brexit as a bigger issue in the mind of enough voters to depress the Lab vote, with confidence in Corbyn to deliver as well.

"TBH this is a magnificent propaganda campaign on a stick for him."

I wouldn't be surprised if the cunt has been licking hand-rails for weeks trying to get it, he will milk the fuck out of it now.

look, we need this, i'm off to buy gin

At what level in the NHS by the way?

Relatively junior nurse/midwife level. I'm sure he is held in contempt by a lot of NHS workers but I've also encountered others who have that hating-your-employer thing that allows them to slag it off with impunity.

FWIW I also know some very Corbyn-sceptic doctors who voted Labour without a second thought. I'm not making blanket statements here, just saying these lines of thought exist and can be widespread.

i know people just vote on a whim but this is the counsel of despair

I think whether Johnson gets out of this with his credibility intact (lol) or not depends on what happens with the death figures or whether the NHS breaks or not. Looking at the that fucking FT chart we might be worse than Iran but not as bad as Italy or Spain.

ok let's see if i can make it to little Tesco without getting mugged by the busies

i have to admit after my initial burst of amusement my immediate next thought was “ratings”

I wouldn't be surprised if the cunt has been licking hand-rails for weeks trying to get it, he will milk the fuck out of it now.

I'm not sure I follow the logic. Why would he need to contract coronavirus to say he has coronavirus?

TBH this is a magnificent propaganda campaign on a stick for him.

I have a whim to ask "how do we even know" but I guess that's tinfoil hat stuff and tbh it's amazing they don't all have it if Nadine Dorries had it (and some others iirc, but I've already forgotten who was confirmed and what was idle speculation based on them being sweaty and out-of-it, which various Cabinet ministers are apt to appear at the best of times)

talking of things that might make certain ministers appear sweaty and out of it, that dealer text is amazing! did you translate it, Daniel, or do Berlin dealers text their clients in English?

It's in English - I'd wager an outfit organised enough to come up with that text would also be smart enough not to forego the huge demographic of trust fund coke fiends who've moved to Berlin and haven't bothered to learn German.

Claiming he does have it when he doesn't would be a pretty big gamble - we're nearly all going to get it, and he's not going to have an excuse if he gets it bad in a month's time.

xp I am vaguely aware of said demographic, hence asking!

stupid me doing it all the wrong way round, learning German very slowly and badly and never getting round to going to Berlin, which I am well on course not to have done before Brexit/before becoming too old and (even more) too uncool to do Berlin properly

Yeah, this is selfish I know but I just enjoyed getting to say hi to the neighbour at the balcony next door.
― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 27 March 2020 11:26 (six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

this isn't selfish! this is good

(and precisely the positive dimension of the clap clinic contradiction that the present binch of a sour internet shut-in gang are allergic to lol)

xp it'd be a gamble and on balance he probably does have it, but Boris can waffle his way out of any old nonsense he's said before, right?

"oh yah well that was the advice I received at the time but it turns out... well it sort of calmed down for a bit but then the symptoms came back, and... anyway it's three cheers for our hardworking NHS (changes subject in a flurry of meaningless 3-word soundbites)"

Claiming he does have it when he doesn't would be a pretty big gamble - we're nearly all going to get it, and he's not going to have an excuse if he gets it bad in a month's time.

― Andrew Farrell,

Can't disagree here, if Boris does end up caught in a lie of any kind it could be quite damaging for him

looool

wp

JUST IN: Queen Elizabeth last saw Boris Johnson March 11 and is following all appropriate advice with regards to her welfare, Buckingham Palace says pic.twitter.com/HQbhaPFK9K

— Reuters (@Reuters) March 27, 2020

jesus that hat is a step more overtly shoggoth-presenting than she generally chooses

typhoid boris

Let’s just see what some of the MPs are up to on inst... ah, nevermind pic.twitter.com/34QBUnH13c

— Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) March 27, 2020

Boris Johnson is lying 💯

— Wiley (@W1L3Y) March 27, 2020

The Health Secretary Matt Hancock has also tested positive for Coronavirus after he developed symptoms on weds night - mild illness and he is working from home

— Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak) March 27, 2020

Dominic Cummings seen running from Downing Street #BorisJohnson #CoronaLockdown #IsolationLife pic.twitter.com/sYZnOL0fPe

— Nicola Keaney (@NicKeaney) March 27, 2020

Pandemic delivers.

Looks like he needed a crap tbf

viri gonna virus

xp nothing can prevent me from thinking that he’s one of the unfortunates who only shit once a week

that's what a diet of soylent green and ket will do to you

say what you like about boris johnson, but at a moment like this you have to admit he is a racist

— Gordon Maloney (@gordonmaloney) March 27, 2020

Muslim Twitter has weighed in:

I am.... screaming pic.twitter.com/7tZEFPEAVS

— Ruqaiya (@ruqaiya_h) March 27, 2020

Dominic Goings

Matt Hancock has it.

They all fall down.

They’ll be fine

If Matt Hancock dies there will be a national day of yawning

they looked from the virus to the Hancock, and from the Hancock to the virus, but already yadda yadda yadda

matt hancock has an anthology of matt cartoons on his shelves

jfc this deranged hack

@BethRigby
54m
Quite extraordinary in moment of national crisis both PM and his right hand man in this battle Matt Hancock have tested positive for #coronavirus. Obvious questions as to why those leading country weren’t better protected in order to ensure they were fighting fit to protect us

maybe if the pm had properly washed his right hand he and hatt mancock wouldn’t be in this predicament

Corporal Rigby is correct, but we must not panic

Everyone's focusing on the "weren't better protected" bit but it's the "to protect us" bit that's real cloud cuckoo land.