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depositing bells into savings is depressing as hell when you’re unemployed in the real world

karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 22:16 (two years ago) link

FOCUS, Tracy!


I didn’t know there was a reward for consecutive successes so I’m definitely going to chase that dragon

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 22:41 (two years ago) link

yeah its part of the nook miles stuff. which is remeiscent of the reward system in the sims

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 22:45 (two years ago) link

jfc, sorry trayce, not Tracy! I’m falling apart over here

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 23:50 (two years ago) link

Haha I thought you said Tracy on purpose to scold me, like my mom does :D

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 05:03 (two years ago) link

the museum is so sick

na (NA), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:05 (two years ago) link

mine should be completed today! looking forward to checking in on it.

the iron nuggets x30 task is taking me a while to complete. i make the rounds every day with my shovel, but usually only pick up 5 or 6 per go around, tops.

i got hopped up on native pears early on and destroyed several of my large rocks, so i'm thinking maybe i permanently destroyed a few of them? (not sure about that)

i got desperate the other day and buried a small rock in the ground. hopefully it'll somehow grow into a large rock.

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:33 (two years ago) link

i want to get h*gh and wander around the museum. though right now it's pretty empty.

na (NA), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:45 (two years ago) link

you know timmy is vaping 94/7

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:50 (two years ago) link

can't wait for tom nook to hawk me a reskinned juul

||||||||, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 14:53 (two years ago) link

wish players other than player one could unlock the museum and such :/

Mordy, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:14 (two years ago) link

if you want to start over and put a kid in charge you're probably running out of time for the loss to be tolerable

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:16 (two years ago) link

a kid is already in charge -- i just have to convince her to get the museum built!

Mordy, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:21 (two years ago) link

ah in that case what you need is your own Switch ;)

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:27 (two years ago) link

i did make a splashy quarantine gaming purchase but it wasn't a second switch (it was a Quest, on the heavy urging of an israeli friend who kept sending me videos of his kids loving it)

Mordy, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:37 (two years ago) link

should i buy this and bully my partner into playing with me when i shouldn't be spending disposable cash in any case as we're about to go into a real life economic depression Y/N

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:39 (two years ago) link

uh yeah, of course

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:39 (two years ago) link

like I can't imagine a more cost-effective purchase if you're planning to be broke and insane for the indefinite future

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:40 (two years ago) link

a kid is already in charge -- i just have to convince her to get the museum built!

― Mordy, Wednesday, March 25, 2020 11:21 AM (twenty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

maybe you can provide the necessary supplies and leave them for her? i haven't tried it yet but can you just drop the items on the ground near the museum-spot without them disappearing?

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:55 (two years ago) link

yes, probably. i can also just tell her she needs to do the stuff. first step is giving tom nook 5 critters. the problem was that until i did some research to figure out how to unlock the museum i didn't even realize this was a thing bc it doesn't come up as an option when i talk to to nook. (also i now see why she has cooler stuff than me -- like the other island residents give her DIY recipes but they've never given them to me probably bc they know i'm just a tertiary player chump.)

Mordy, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 16:59 (two years ago) link


Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:01 (two years ago) link

I'm not "Player One" and I was able to give Blathers everything he needed to open the museum. Don't understand the problem tbf.

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:18 (two years ago) link

it's the "pre-museum" phase that the Island Representative has to do, you have to give Tom Nook 5 things to invite Blathers.

silby, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:19 (two years ago) link

i think i would be a very bad parent because i think my first instinct would be to bribe the child irl to do the thing you want her to do in the game

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:26 (two years ago) link

like "hey, if you donate these 5 pieces for the museum in the game, maybe we'll go out and get some ice cream later! ....(after coronavirus is over, ahhaha)"

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:28 (two years ago) link

yeah the first couple days of the game have some railroaded stuff that you have to do to open things up and i think after that the primary player stops mattering as much

ciderpress, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:32 (two years ago) link

oh that's good to know. i was bummed that there was all this content i won't get to see.

Mordy, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 17:52 (two years ago) link

setup a swap shop. will post up a dodo code later

||||||||, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:47 (two years ago) link

alright i'm downloading, you fuckers better give me stuff

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 18:48 (two years ago) link

should i post the only negative take i've seen so we can tear it down?

We are all seeking an escape. It’s that desperate need for the world to slow down, for the people to take a minute, for Republicans to develop an ounce of compassion, Democrats to grow any sort of backbone, and all us schmucks with zero power to just...take a goddamn breath. Animal Crossing, a game where you join a bunch of anthropomorphic animals on an island, is literally a virtual escape from the world. When you show up ready to board the plane that’s what the two little raccoons even tell you. Animal Crossing is meant to be the balm to our anxiety riddled little lives. Only it sucks beyond measure.

I am not unfamiliar with Animal Crossing. I definitely ignored my friends for hours while they played it and I smoked vodka-spiked hookah back in like 2005 (don’t do that). I gamely checked it out on the Nintendo DS and gave up when I missed like two days of gameplay and all my in-game friends abandoned me (don’t do that either). I even spent some time with the mobile version of it a few years ago. Most things are pretty consistent from incarnation to incarnation.

You are a human in a world of cartoon animals that speak in a digital rhythm that Nintendo translates into human-speak in text bubbles below them. You collect fruit and bugs and rocks. You build stuff. You go into massive debt to a bunch of raccoons and work all day and night to pay off that debt.

Which is really my problem with this game. Right now the real world we’d all like a vacation from is run by capitalists with no concept of beneficial socialism. Powerful men and women think a single $1,200 check will make up for months and months of lost income. These people will gladly give trillions to billion-dollar corporations but let hospitals languish. People starve and children go uneducated.

The world is already run by the raccoons so why on Earth would I want to deal with them in a game?

Animal Crossing isn’t the only real-life sim that puts you into a grind similar to the one you probably experience in the actual world day-to-day. Games like The Sims and Stardew Valley can absolutely feel like work. You get up. You work your butt off. You welcome the sweet release of sleep at the end of the day.

But those games are a lot less aggressively simulacrums of the capitalism you’re forced to reckon with daily. By forcing you into a long term and unwilling relationship with a landlord/loanshark raccoon, Animal Crossing is a closer reminder of the world we’re living in. At a moment when so many folks are clamoring for a rent freeze, the last thing I want to do is head into a simulation where that’s not even close to a possibility.

My many friends and co-workers would claim that I should just play Animal Crossing more (Gizmodo Editor in Chief Kelly Bourdet told me not to write this blog until I’d played for at least a week). They would say I should embrace the best-loved feature of the game—seamlessly traveling to your real-life friends’ island to hang out or wreck their own digital limbos.

But I didn’t want real-life people in my real-life house before a highly contagious pandemic made standing close or touching hands a veritable Victorian scandal. Why would I want you on the overgrown island that I am but a serf inhabiting?

So, even though I’ve only played 5 minutes of the game and done little more than erect a tent on a patch of land I do not own, I can safely say Animal Crossing sucks and Stardew Valley rulez.

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 22:49 (two years ago) link

This sad person doesn’t understand that you literally never have to pay off your debts in Animal Crossing

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:32 (two years ago) link

Yeah, even my daughter realizes that.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:33 (two years ago) link

Or that the raccoons will literally buy moths and sand dollars off you for actual cash

El Tomboto, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 23:33 (two years ago) link

Yeah fuck that person they completely missed the point.

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 26 March 2020 05:04 (two years ago) link

"I didnt play it at all, now or back in 2005 but I will rain shit on it anyway lolz"

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Thursday, 26 March 2020 05:12 (two years ago) link

the "i only played it for five minutes" stuff is trolling, but as an animal crossing newbie i did find it mildly shocking to start up the game and immediately be in debt and charged with paying your way out of it. you don't have to pay it off, sure, if you want to live in a tent for the whole game, but not advancing/improving is antithetical to playing a video game. what i find dumb is how many articles/tweets/whatever comment on the capitalistic aspects of the game like the author is the one giving a cheeky adult take on it, when the satire/commentary is obviously intentional and part of the game.

na (NA), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:04 (two years ago) link

the whole game is about buying stuff, which is easy but puts you deeper into debt to the nooks, vs. doing it yourself, which is slightly harder but keeps you outside of the nook inc. monopoly. it's not subtle

na (NA), Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:07 (two years ago) link

Yep. They could have skipped all that and just said “buy an upgrade for your house for 99,000 bells!” and it wouldn’t change the gameplay at all. They made it a loan so they could make funny jokes about landlord/tenant/capitalism stuff that would fly over the heads of children

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:20 (two years ago) link

||||||||, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:26 (two years ago) link

my partner played once, put her tent directly in front of my house, and then never came back. I keep sending her gifts that she never sees and it’s starting to remind me of middle school

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:31 (two years ago) link

ok, the tent is sort of to the side, but it’s off-center and it cuts off the walking path along the river, I mean come on

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:31 (two years ago) link

i put D to work i told her if she's going to be player one she has responsibilities and she can't do the fun stuff she wants to do until she labors doing the unlocks so that the rest of the family can enjoy the game. i'm considering this a meta-level explication and analysis for her of the capitalist themes already present in the game.

Mordy, Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:57 (two years ago) link

i zipped through the 5k miles in my first playthrough, looking forward to opening to a house. My partner has no intention of playing this game, which is a bummer.

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:03 (two years ago) link

xp lol

“D, you must make some sacrifices so the rest of us can have more fun”

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 15:13 (two years ago) link

The price Timmy is willing to pay for imported fruit is a revelation

El Tomboto, Thursday, 26 March 2020 16:39 (two years ago) link

This has significantly increased the value of having two switches in the house

El Tomboto, Thursday, 26 March 2020 16:40 (two years ago) link

i finally visited another island (a mystery resource island, basically) and it happened to have the same native fruit as my own (pears). we eat a lot of pears here on Boneyarden

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 16:50 (two years ago) link

I'm telling you people, need to get on the poxyfule slack so we can share announcements of when airports are open

El Tomboto, Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:03 (two years ago) link

fun slacks < fun discords tbh (slack doesn't have killfiles)

silby, Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:07 (two years ago) link

honestly, i'm afraid that if i get on poxyfule slack i will lose any shred of productivity i ever had, whether working or free-time/creative hours

Karl Malone, Thursday, 26 March 2020 17:22 (two years ago) link

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