star wars 9 spoilers and postmortem shit talk

Fool me 11 times, shame on you. Fool me 12 times ...

lol tru

it’s a real shitshow

its the worst star wars movie
and ive seen a new hope

THE BEST ACTOR IN THIS IS MARK HAMILL FOR FUCKS SAKE

the really weird thing is that jj abrams created three engaging new leads in the force awakens, with great performances from each, and then cant think of a single interesting thing for any of them to do in this one and they all look bored af

it's funny if you just adapt lines from previous movies for this one and mumble them throughout

"I'm afraid your friends will find our NAVIGATION BEACONS to be.. quite operational"

otm bg

the stirring speech to the troops is the least convincingly delivered piece i may ever have heard

what an utter frankenstein effort, any one person involved must have known what was happening here

feeling good about my decision to never ever see this

its made me sorry i saw tlj

tfa was a good fun look back with great leads and nice beats

this is so deeply unpleasant and incoherent

at this point I am finally morbidly curious about this tbh

i mean it’s worth seeing just for the ‘how did this happen’ factor

also babu frik

do I need to post my quote-unquote popular "drink the Snoke juice" meme here

that five minute emotional romeo juliet copout scene at the end seems like an improvement but as herself gasped through fits of giggles and hatred "its just that the fucking dialogue has stopped"

she is otm

xp hey heeeeey

amazing factoid: they were probably dubbed in for the final audio, but shirley henderson also performed all babu frik content live on set

THE BEST ACTOR IN THIS IS MARK HAMILL FOR FUCKS SAKE

C'mon though, Richard E Grant!

we have counted and there is two lines of dialogue in this that were worth keeping in

youre the spy

and

i forget the other one

every other line was poorly written

its a staggering achievement this

xp i hate richard e grant

"babu frik is one of my oldest friends!"

please tel me that there’s footage of shirley henderson on set babbling nonsense at oscar isaac

droid memory go black. black black.

I saw 1917 in theaters and at an intense quiet part I could hear babu frik go HEY HEYYY in the theater next door

— grip (@MattGrippi) March 21, 2020

the rise of skywalker is the rare movie that's better when you're watching another movie one theater over

if it regularly synchronized I’d have gone to see 1917 just for that

the really weird thing is that jj abrams created three engaging new leads in the force awakens, with great performances from each, and then cant think of a single interesting thing for any of them to do in this one and they all look bored af

never going to see either of these but isn't it probably because the writer of Body Heat, Raiders Of The Lost Ark and The Accidental Tourist wrote The Force Awakens, and the writer of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice wrote this one?

d/ling now, weirdly stoked for the badness

Would enjoy you LIveLXing your viewing.

Body Heat, Raiders Of The Lost Ark and The Accidental Tourist

Having seen the latter film for my sins on its original release, uh, why name THAT one?

shows range

Three films in very different styles, working off non-original material or tropes (as Terrio was), that each created screen-vibrant characters that wide audiences found compelling and/or charming.

(My parents took me to it too, and I'm absolutely not citing it out of recollection of quality. But Geena Davis won the Oscar!)

or what deems said

range and brevity, two essentials

Would enjoy you LIveLXing your viewing.

since you asked so nicely, stay tuned

But Geena Davis won the Oscar!

Definitely the only memorable part of it, aside from maybe the turkey dinner disaster.

simon im trying to get some sleep pls dont do this unmissable event

A corona shit-talking watch party thread would be pretty fun imo.

100% in let's gooo

fuck this

another reason to hate this scrambled egg of a movie

Marvel-ass triangle cube trash

lol six whole minutes, you did ok man

god I already hate this I think I'll just save my thoughts for the end, there's gonna be too much petty posting

ok that suits see ye in the mornin

get what sic is saying but it’s more of a blend of strengths. you can have a scriptwriter who is kind of shit but the set and director make it good, but some directors really can’t pull a jewel out of a pile of dirt

(thinking about a Joe Eszterhas script and the Mel Gibson tell-all he wrote and how I enjoyed some movies he “wrote”)

kind of love when a director takes a script that’s
a vague sketch of garbage and works it into something interesting

this was definitely not it

this scrambled egg of a movie

― ole uncle tiktok (darraghmac), Tuesday, March 24, 2020 5:29 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao goddamn

I got 94 minutes and 42 seconds into this shitshow and I don't think I'll bother with the rest till tomorrow jfc you guys

it’s more of a blend of strengths. you can have a scriptwriter who is kind of shit but

it's not a matter of whether Kasdan is great (I haven't seen anything he's done in 29 years, and that one was boring) so much as if you're bemused as to why the characters are different between movie A and movie C when the director / one credited co-writer are the same, looking at what other elements are different might give a hint.

one credited co-writer

(both movies have additional credits for people whose scripts weren't used. skimming a couple of interviews, looks like Abrams' contribution to The Force Awakens writing was mainly recording long conversations with Kasdan about the plot on his iPhone, whereas he might have done more sitting-and-writing with Tessio on this thread's movie.)

ok I will probably finish this today at some point but I can't imagine any of my remaining complaints will be at all interesting so here's what I typed into a google doc as I watched

____

TRASH DIALOGUE this is by far my biggest complaint overall, bastard offspring of Sorkin (relentless walking-and-talking) and Whedon (z-grade “clever” chirping/snark). fucking shameful work all around

I know everyone said this already but it’s amazing how much stuff we’re just supposed to accept that was not foreshadowed at all. the Emperor is behind it all and announced it on Fortnite! Luke had a secret quest to find Exegol that he….never mentioned! special counter-Sith C3PO programming! trash

Acky Acky more like hacky hacky

so many cuet aliens crammed into so many frames you’d think Lucas sat in on post-production

Richard E Grant’s fabulousness is welcome but wasted. even his stride rules

major Joe Biden vibes from this Billy Dee Williams performance. “maybe take 22 is usable? fuck it”

THEY FLY NOW! they released this clip early to let us know what movie to expect, in retrospect, a great thankless service

even the generally reliable Daisy Ridley falls back on squintyface non-acting from time to time here

oh yeah chewie’s definitely dead, big moment. oh yeah ren just watches her leave from a few feet away cool fine

another fundamental problem is just that there’s never the slightest sign that Rey has any sort of interest in / is at all tempted by the DARK SIDE, just Ren. at the end of the day she’s just a goody-goody who shoots lightning sometimes

would way prefer this was a whole movie of Oscar Isaac, Handsome Adventurer tbh. face and hair, wonderful.

man, Keri Russell would have made a fuckin great Sith lord or something. oh well

“if this movie fails it was all for nothing!” oh well

it’s good that we had a character say “sad” aloud during the only genuinely sad scene so far so we know that it’s sad

“the Endor system...where the last war Ended??” the hint was in the name all along, lads

“does she do that to US?” ok that was almost funny

even for latter-day Star Wars the action beats are all so...dead, perfunctory, tension-free

“I never lied to you. your parents were no one.” don’t think that would hold up in court FRIENDO

low-key the biggest plot hole in this movie is that the dark side of the force can raise star destroyers from garbage but can’t sniff out a fuckin spy

one inarguable thing: holy crow they did Kelly Marie Tran dirty

lol at Driver’s wet fish face in this duel

I can appreciate that Carrie Fisher’s death put them in a bind but……….man there has to have been a more artful way to handle it

lmaoooooooooo @ “every ship in the fleet has planet-killing weapons” jfc this is some pure machine learning shit

I know this is shorter than the last one but it feels twice as long

“it was fear that kept me here.” BITCJ THEY JUST SAID YOU WERE LOOKING FOR EXEGOL HOW AFRAID WERE U

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otm