love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

This is a report on Germany's response (not looked at yet):

I asked this question on here the other day and got a bunch of conspiracy theories and over-complicated answers in my mentions. Basic answers: massive testing (up to 160,000 per week) catching cases early, demography (young ppl) and high hospital capacity. https://t.co/zTPiIunMs0

— Ben Gook (@bengook) March 20, 2020

I was thinking yesterday in the absence of bog roll we may see a resurgence for UK newspapers

I stopped doing the free-if-you-spend-£10 newspaper offer from Waitrose, because I never get round to reading them and they're just clutter/a waste of paper - but on the way home from failing to buy some loo rolls there it occurred to me that I should've taken my free inky alternative instead.

When they evicted us from the office to work from home I did nick one pack from a small pile of sealed double-packs of cheap nasty loo roll from work, and felt guilty all the way down the stairs until I saw there was a giant pallet of loo roll and cleaning products beneath the stairs, for a mostly-empty building. (There are still a few people left working there so hopefully they won't go entirely to waste and people will help themselves or redistribute them to other buildings.)

Sorry Col. Poo, good luck wins.

UK govt response really disappointing/worrying - hard to know how much due to incompetence and how much because they really don't care (or worse), but it's really not looking good for the future. ugh - good luck everyone.

just thinking about great stockpilers from political history. When Yagoda's Kremlin apartment was raided by his own NKVD agents during the great terror they found 3904 pornographic photographs, 11 pornographic movies, 399 "foreign music records", 37 pairs of imported gloves, 101 imported children's games, 1229 bottles of wine (some vintages dating back to 1897), 11075 cigarettes + 8 boxes of tobacco and 165 pipes (including some made out of elephant tusks). this lad was ready to self-isolate, although toilet rolls are not mentioned.

101 imported children's games

this is a lot of children's game!

unless they were all themed versions of monopoly

tim farron self-isolation update: still alive, if you can call this living

When in self-isolation it's important to exercise, get fresh air and stay positive! pic.twitter.com/08pvat0HNA

— Tim Farron (@timfarron) March 19, 2020

I like to stay positive by imagining Tories dying

Capitalism - it's great.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/hospitality-giant-g1-group-axe-21725911

g1 group are and always have been a bunch of cunts, so mass phone-sackings vmic

(Daily Record making sure they print the most enormous pictures of pretty sacked worker possible, of course)

well, yeah

https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/02/15/business/15-MONOPOLY-JP1/15-MONOPOLY-JP1-jumbo.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp

xps to mark

'The big idea of the 1990s that “the economy” will serve as a regulating superego of our politics is a busted flush. ... we should now never tire of asking: which economic constraints are real and which imagined?' @adam_tooze on top form https://t.co/xS5iceaZzq

— David Edgerton (@DEHEdgerton) March 20, 2020

Tooze says C-19 will be a paradigm shift.

the big essay i've been working on -- abt a very specific shift in music and technology from the late 1950s to the early 1970s -- has become weirdly disorientating over the last week, when i've basically just been trying to tidy up the editor's final queries

on one hand, it is soothing to be thinking about something that the horrible present doesn't really touch

one the other hand, this isn't really true! every time i take a step back to reorientate my context for a sense of how history flowed through this time, and towards what, i get this really intense sensation of "literally none of yr mid-level value judgments apply any more dude"

things shifting so rapidly at my work; it's a bit disorienting. glad I'm not at the coalface having to factor in all of the re-planning, implementing BCP, working up revised financials etc. I'm in a privileged position and see quite a lot of data for senior people in the business. some of the internal MI is

insert the emoji for 'my mouth is opening and closing and opening and no sound is coming out' there

which economic constraints are real and which imagined?

This is the heart of it really isn't it?

once you've been down the yellow brick road and past the magic money tree and see the hairy fat arse of the wizard of oz, there is no way back!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6FVk2k4qsM

A small transport operation, but one close to the Prime Minister’s heart, has fallen victim to the coronavirus.

The Emirates Air Line – the east London cable car built on the instructions of the then mayor, Boris Johnson – will stop operating indefinitely from tomorrow

🐦[’The big idea of the 1990s that “the economy” will serve as a regulating superego of our politics is a busted flush. ... we should now never tire of asking: which economic constraints are real and which imagined?’ @adam_tooze🕸 on top form https://t.co/xS5iceaZzq🕸
— David Edgerton (@DEHEdgerton) March 20, 2020🕸]🐦

Tooze says C-19 will be a paradigm shift.

he's taking a long time to get around to the punchline here

pubs cafes and bars to close tonight

fucking finally

"we are all in this together" says the man with a literal nuclear bunker for him and his colleagues.

PROTECT THE NHS is our new three-worder, Dom earning his crust at last

phew, in under the wire

https://t.co/688Ob1Cf8c pic.twitter.com/crlRfnDLem

— Loki (@Lokinash06) March 20, 2020

lool!

No limit on funding for scheme https://t.co/CD4nDFXkLB

— Nick Eardley (@nickeardleybbc) March 20, 2020

all shops apart from supermarkets and pharmacies to shut

this seems good, if late xp is that right about shops?

... cafes, bars, pubs and restaurants must close tonight. Nightclubs, theatres, gyms, cinemas and leisure centres must also close on the same timescale.

BoE going to need a bigger bazooka

NEW #Coronavirus job retention scheme.

HMRC grants to cover most of the wages.

Will cover 80% of salaries of workers of up to £2,500 a month.

Will be open for 3 months. Can extend. NO limit on the funding going into the scheme

— Beth Rigby (@BethRigby) March 20, 2020

not only does Tim Weatherspoon have the Oblivion face but i can hear him doing the voice

Lol vat cancelled

Why 80%?

how's that gonna work for the self-employed?

Self assessment cancelled for a year ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

and how does this work for people who've been laid off since the government started fucking up their response to this?

there are gonna be millions of newly unemployed and these cunts are fretting about tax. riot time.

My boss has just gone from "fuck this incompetent government" to "Incredible employment scheme for everyone. What a fantastic government we have I must say. Awfully touched" - this is a verbatim quote, btw, smh.

wondering if I can somehow finagle this so the gov will pay me more than the SSP I'm currently barely living on.

Welfare spending has been cut by £37bn over the last decade.

The £7bn increase the chancellor has just announced is a small step in the right direction but not nearly enough to protect the poorest and most vulnerable.

— Jonathan Bartley (@jon_bartley) March 20, 2020

The 80% of salaries thing is a big relief but at the same time several days too late.

now that we've adopted fully automated luxury gay space communism, all boris needs to do is stop tens of thousands of people dying in understaffed, under-resourced hospitals and he'll be fine... bojo, over to you

huge if true

Wtf pic.twitter.com/WWvY98H2zR

— Will Joseph Cook (@WillJosephCook) March 19, 2020

Important note - have asked Number 10 and shops WILL NOT be closing. The PM listed a number of outlets which will including gyms, bars, restaurants etc. Shops will not be included. The Chancellor made a slip there.

— Kate McCann (@KateEMcCann) March 20, 2020

ah, sorry for misinformation

Yeah we need to still be able to buy scented candles and CDs

Sunak says the measures for casual workers are related to their earnings as recorded on PAYE - so assuming it’s based on average earnings?