love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

xp

if only Starmer was just simply a downgrade, but he's just a complete change in direction to the point where the DUP and Trump have been fiscally to the left of him in recent weeks. Although sometimes it's hard to tell where he is at because he has that melt style of speaking in platitudes (in his pathetic fucking voice).

+8% on the pent-up demand for haircuts and yoga classes. I personally plan on getting two manicures a day as soon as this thing passes.

Hell I might get a haircut when all this is over

receding fuckers like me are nihilists not stylists and just need a shaver on No2 and a mirror, not like these Starmerite melts with their poncey brylcreem hairdos like erm... Kim Jong Un!

It's been less than a week and we're already on "I'm gonna get me one of them fancy haircuts" talk

my local barber does skin fades, hot towel shaves, ears and nasal hairs - the lot and local thugs of all ages love the place. When you are a halfway member of the bald community you just dare not walk into a barbers - not been in one since 2007 now.

The UK is the only major country in Europe not to have announced that it will subsidise employees’ wages or make direct cash payments to its citizens. (Via @georgegrylls) https://t.co/XFpO3ccinw

— George Eaton (@georgeeaton) March 18, 2020

🐦[My friend works for Weatherspoon Bristol. This is what they got today from owner - ’UK is right to keep pubs open, following the Dutch position"
She gets no handgel, no masks and is not allowed to wear gloves. pic.twitter.com/w6L9AKfwBD🕸
— Daniela Gabor (@DanielaGabor) March 17, 2020🕸]🐦

bludgeoning Tim martin to death with a sledgehammer and shutting up all his stinking pisshole pubs would be some justifiable state intervention/homicide if it potentially saved lots of lives during this next upward curve of infection. Seriously though...

I would literally stab a random stranger for a pint and a cig atm

Pure make believe from forecasters that the growth in q3 and 4 will nearly match the loss in q2 as no one knows what will happen next week, never mind in q3

Sorry but none of ye can match my extremely deep regret about not getting a haircut- my hair is already fine to start with and it doesn’t really suit this length. It’s going to be four feet long and three inches wide by the time this is over.

time to start shaving yr own head imo, i’ve been doing it for nearly 10 years and it’s very therapeutic

also if you fuck it up you’ll have plenty of time to grow it out while self-isolating

maybe we'll be able to print out our own cutting templates so we can cut our own hair to any style we like as long as it's bowl-shaped

I realise this is pretty niche but some clarity on how we're going to grade the poor bugger Y11s who won't be taking their GCSEs this year would be nice. If nothing else, they're on the verge of mutiny anyway, some of them are quite big and angry, and I have to teach two classes of the bastards tomorrow!

Also very much of the 'shave one's own head' brigade. It's a piece of pish.

Yeah the husband has a clippers and I’m considering it but I’m too afraid of having a funny shaped head to do it.

I was lying I’m not gonna cut my hair

More renters will need free hair cuts at this rate:

"landlords and tenants will be expected to work together to establish an affordable repayment plan"

Policy for renters in the crisis is to saddle them with a huge lump of debt. That's an irresponsible and short-sighted plan - nowhere near good enoughhttps://t.co/npKcIjUnJ1

— James B (@piercepenniless) March 18, 2020

It's fucking head-cutz that is needed here

I genuinely hope the first landlord to do eviction proceedings during this period gets fucking lynched and battered to death tbh

"We are all in this together.." says some mendacious Landlord Association representative cunt. No we are not, and never have been, unless "we" is the Conservative Party. fucking cunts.

Millions of renters urgently need support but the small print of the Government’s plans raise serious questions.

There is a real danger it will leave tenants exposed after building up debt through no fault of their own. Renters should not lose out because of this crisis. https://t.co/lcFnmadRe8

— Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) March 18, 2020

the leader of the opposition has spoken quite politely and indirectly with his quivering hand on his Victorian mantelpiece again. Perhaps there is a real danger he is going to turn the Labour Party into something even lamer than the Swinson Lib-Dems at this rate.

Michael Walker on Novara this evening incredibly otm on the complete ineptitude of *all the Lab leadership candidates* in doing fuck all to challenge the Tory-media-complex over the past two weeks
https://youtu.be/57_umvxuUFE

Corbyn has been very good though!

Look if you don't watch out Keir Starmer is going to allude the fact that others may pose questions to the Tory leadership over their response to this health crisis

bah timing ruined by poor subbing

you are still completely correct tho!

I’m really upset calz has a dn, it feels wrong somehow

Yet another sign that the rapture is nigh.

xp

you should be more upset that it is shite!

The prime minister said: “The great thing about having a test to see whether you’ve had it, is suddenly a green light goes on above your head and you can go back to work safe and confident in the knowledge that you are most unlikely to get it again.

Something something easier to imagine the end of the world something something.

Great stuff, now where are the fucking tests?

ffs Matt they are ramping it up to 25,000 a day. they keep telling you! Which is the same as doing it!

quite (xp)

also, there was a good article on ilx recently that said that getting it once was very likely to confer immunity, but I'd like to be a bit surer of that before it becomes The Official Word Of Our PM that people who've already had it are just fine to do what they like (which is probably not going back to work tbh)

Was just looking at this piece on the lack of tests:

Excellent piece by @WiredUK on the mystery of Britain’s lack of coronavirus testing. There are British firms supplying tests to the rest of Europe that have not even been contacted by the NHS, plus dozens of labs. https://t.co/FstfuHH4l9 pic.twitter.com/wR8khEDjDf

— Simon Nixon (@Simon_Nixon) March 19, 2020

We spoke to a friend last night whose PhD and subsequent research focused on infectious animal diseases. He was saying that in general this type of virus doesn't mutate quickly enough for vaccines, when they arrive, to be ineffective. So what we're looking at in immunity terms is likely to be closer to measles than flu.

Re: lab leadership response. Also quite a contrast with Sanders who has had daily conferences and announcements on the virus.

The odd twitter thread from RLB hasn't been enough. I know she has suspended phone banking so that ppl can help out in their communities. It feels like its too little.

oh no, Micheal Rosen says he got it :(

"I think I’m in it. It’s hell: aches, fevers, shakes, weakness."

Gordon Brown has been good today, calling for guarantees that bailed out firms will keep workers on.

why isn't Broon chuntering meaningless platitudes in series rather than being so specific? it's obviously an unprovoked attack on the de facto LOTO

"If Boris Johnson is telling people to stay at home he has to tell them how to survive financially."

None of the leadership candidates, especially Starmer, have been able to express themselves that succinctly.

Like you cannot contain the virus when the choice is 'go out and spread it or stay home, starve and become destitute'.

lol even Stephen Kinnock has shifted to the left of Starmer. RLB was calling for UBI and suspension of household bills which is good but not seen so much from her on zero hour/precariat workers who are being expected to work or starve.

a lot of temp/zero hours supermarket jobs on Indeed this morning

they should be getting paid more than people in financial services/banking right now, these are literally jobs as important or even arguably more than frontline NHS workers.

Gonna apply anyway, I'm ripe for exploitation :D

I've just got some money thru I've been waiting on for a fortnight. This is the sweetest cig I've ever had

The romanticization of the Quarantine is a class privilege! pic.twitter.com/M0oXNmIhg1

— Jamil Mouawad (@JamilMouawad) March 18, 2020

otm banner, summary executions for smugcasters imo.

Testify brother

Anyway, my local's still open

Funny how "blitz spirit" crosses the culture war divide

I would like to inform you that I have tested positive for #COVID19. I am doing well and in good spirits. I am following all the necessary instructions, as is my team.

For all those affected already, and for all those currently in isolation, we will get through this together.

— Michel Barnier (@MichelBarnier) March 19, 2020

He'll have the inefficient eurovirus tho that's bound up in red tape