love* in the time of plague (and by love* i mean brexit* and other dreary matters of uk politics)

Also that can't happen if everyone's lost their job in the meantime.

Still got it:

The government has announced a mortgage holiday for homeowners but it must suspend rents too.

Millions of people rent in the UK.

Suspend rents. Ban evictions. Now.

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) March 17, 2020

I enjoy looking at the first few replies to these tweets of his and sending them to my Corbyn- and landlord-hating friend to radicalise him.

Corbyn doesn't need a 2nd thought on attacking the fucking tories, Starmer on the other hand, at the moment is trying his best not to offend them.

NEW: Sunak says the Housing Secretary will be making a statement in the coming days "to protect renters in these difficult times"

— Lewis Goodall (@lewis_goodall) March 17, 2020

I'm sure jenrick has some real radical proposals and landlords will be shitting it.

This is the calm before the storm, before the surge. And when it comes, and it will come, never will so many ask so much of so few. We will do all that we can to support them.

In years to come, let them say of us when things were at their worst, we were at our best.

leo

"A day like today is not a day for soundbites, but"

xp DONT

The gravest of tones, the bluest of shirts

the actual fuck am i watching from maitlis here

grilling a WHO (pronounced 'who' btw ffs) official as if she was the uk govt

not that ive seen anyone grill the uk govt

setting up these ludicrous questions about the govt daring to take mobile phones off ppl and check their contacts, i mean is this a big worry over there?

wtf

in a stupid parallel universe Jess Phillips is the leader of the opposition now

Of course most landlords will do all they can to help tenants https://t.co/gIkAHjyMoE

— Jess Phillips MP (@jessphillips) March 17, 2020

I can't imagine how grim it would be if someone who was a weak tory lite piece of piss with dodgy funding and garbage politics was LOTO right now!

I hope Starmer is correct and we can platitude our way out of this crisis. https://t.co/UmOJcbL8jj

— Keir Milburn (@KeirMilburn) March 17, 2020

Sigh. Developed a slight dry but persistent cough yesterday and self isolated even though I felt fine. Then developed high fever at 4am today. There is a lot of COVID-19 in Westminster.

— neil_ferguson (@neil_ferguson) March 18, 2020

by my maths, if every mp gets infected, 11.9 of them will die

place your bets

It's not for the likes of us to question the ways of the Almighty

BG if corona drove you back to ilx I for one applaud our pangolin overlords

dropping in occasionally to wish death on powerful people is my vibe rn

shout out to the entire media class

thankful for living in an area of London that's so racist that the Turkish and Pakistani supermarkets are still well stocked. God bless Nigel Farage still

— hussein kesvani (@HKesvani) March 16, 2020

Above all else right now the absolute non-medical priority for the government should be ensuring reliable food supplies to the over-70s and other at-risk groups. Virtually nothing else matters more and I haven't seen any real announcements about it?

Anonymous briefings that Cummings was 'in talks' with Deliveroo and Uber a few days ago is the most I've seen.

Bring back rationing but really. People completely losing the run of themselves and exacerbating the issue for the most vulnerable. My family at home can’t believe this shit, people are still going out to shop but social distancing from others.

there is effectively some levels of *sensible* rationing going on online ordering, it won't let order more than two tinned/tubes of tomato puree.

that's more than I normally use in a week, but it could be worse.

They need to find a way of rationing the delivery slots, not everyone can or should go to the shops right now.

had an email from sainsbury's saying that they would be prioritising deliveries for the elderly and "the disabled". how you prove you're either of these in their online shop i have no idea

I'd a scan of a DWP PIP/pension letter would do, like old folks have scanners of course.

would

give people a few days to start faking those then

yep I don't there is a practicable way of doing it without potential of people feigning oldness/disability to get their orders tbh

Anyone caught doing this to be immediately disabled

death by a thousand faked blue badge cuts

haha just realised i have a couple of my mum's dad's WW2 ration books in a shoebox somewhere, so maybe i'm ok for powdered egg and radio malt for a day or two

Johnson ducks @Ianblackford_MP’s call for him to temporarily introduce universal income for all. Deep concern in Govt that if it came in, it would prove politically impossible to ever withdraw.

— Tom Newton Dunn (@tnewtondunn) March 18, 2020

had an email from sainsbury's saying that they would be prioritising deliveries for the elderly and "the disabled". how you prove you're either of these in their online shop i have no idea

You're a mature, grown-up liberal democracy.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ETK9geiXQAIkS4s?format=jpg&name=small

it me

(all of them)

We think we have it bad, but think how bad England’s most boring man has it:

I’ve walked the dogs, washed the car, tidied the house. I’m now bored out of my brain. Self isolate for weeks? I can’t manage a day!

— michael owen (@themichaelowen) March 15, 2020

I think you have to register DOB when you sign up to shop Sainsbury’s/Waitrose/Nectar online? I don’t do online shopping as a rule because I’d rather walk to the shop than wait in for parcels. Takes less time where I am.

I think you could be right about that. I mostly put in a nonsense DOB when i sign up for stuff cos it's none of their business, mostly like 1-Jan-1902 or something. So I'll be fine, they think I'm 118 years old

by my maths, if every mp gets infected, 11.9 of them will die

place your bets

― uncle-knower is coming for you (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 18 March 2020 08:58 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Due to a member of my family showing symptoms of Coronavirus, I’m following NHS advice and self-isolating for the next 14 days.

I’m showing no symptoms myself and feel absolutely fine but it’s vital that we all follow the Government’s medical advice.

— Tim Farron (@timfarron) March 18, 2020

All that milk is going to see him just fine.

I'm presuming a large amount of pensioners are not very online, my mum certainly isn't. And it'll often be family members who will be doing the ordering for them. Is there any way I can send a burning bag of dog shit to Tim Farron's doorstep now he's at home for a while?

deliverpoo

Schools closing in Wales and Scotland. Can’t see England and NI lasting much into next week.

I think they break up for easter in 2 weeks, are these fuckers just going to wait until then?

Deutsche Bank expects the mother of all recessions: "The quarterly declines in GDP growth we anticipate substantially exceed anything previously recorded going back to
at least World War II." pic.twitter.com/jfPY5jR0Vw

— Holger Zschaepitz (@Schuldensuehner) March 18, 2020

That's less a recession and more a short but very sharp shock but those forecasts include a sharp rebound in Q3 which seems... hopeful. If it goes on for longer then everything depends on how long businesses and households can be kept on economic life support.