WHOCHURCH: The Chris Chibnall era

Apparently only 33 stories have rated lower in the whole history of the show since 1963, for what that's worth.

(That's probably episodes, not stories btw - the old series had 155 stories in 695 episodes, nu-Who has 130 stories in 165 full-length televised eps so far.)


([I don't know that anyone's averaged out each story's ratings across 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12 or 14 episodes, interesting as that would be, but comparing 1960s and 2020 ratings is apples and kumquats anyway: the sort of numbers that have the show plummeting into the 30s on the chart now would have it falling out of its regular place in the 50s-90s in 1968, and did have it falling off the chart altogether in 1989.])

I am by no means the most qualified Who viewer to weigh in, but I do love the show... after finally catching up with the last few eps, this season was the worst of any I can think of, the finale was garbage, and Chibnall should be canned.

on Day Of The Doctor comparisons: Who twitter is doing a quarantine watchalong of the special rn (Moffatt has rejoined twitter for the occasion and is commenting along at #savetheday), and every 2-minute chunk has at LEAST as much character, plot, visual play and verbal jokes as the clip upthread

As does this:

Yes! Here it is, courtesy of @StevenWMoffat and with the help of @McIntoshNeve, my esteemed colleague Strax entreats you to #SaveTheDay and join us in our viewing of The Day of The Doctor. Today at 7pm GMT, 3pm EST and all around the world! #DoctorWho pic.twitter.com/ljqFWM6QRE

— Dan Starkey (@StanDarkley) March 21, 2020

Love that early 2000s DWM article posted upthread that basically rips on all the ideas Chibnall had in the finale.

Rewatching the special was fun. I didn’t find Clara especially interesting at the time but she might as well be a Karmazov brother next to Yaz.

Osgood also fun. Not sure why they messed around with that character.

- across 17 Chib-era stories with new aliens in, we've had

Tzim-Sha, of the warlike Stenza
space racist Krasko
pilot's brother Durkas *
alien tree monsters the Morax
amnesiac pilot Paltraki vs the religious Ux in The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos
interdimensional Kasaavins
spider monsters the Skithra
plastic virus Praxeus
nightmare werewolf monsters the Chagaska
and what is Ko Sharmus?

the planetary surface of Fintleborxtug

sounds like they at bare minimum need help coming up with alien species names

they at bare

Only two of those don't have Chinballs as credited scriptwriter, and it seems hugely unlikely that the other two didn't have his thumb on hte naming scale

The scripts for Series 12 are up on the BBC website now, giving more insight into Chibnall's writing approach.

https://i.imgur.com/iKcjiMW.jpg

So vomit.

The amazing iconic trio.

https://i.imgur.com/ZOr5oXt.png


https://i.imgur.com/Ptyzs8h.jpg

So non-consensual.

https://i.imgur.com/oq4CtHm.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/RdrPYpl.jpg

Their love for each other clear. Sad!

lolol at both

so glad i stopped watching this

https://sharedmedia.grahamdigital.com/photo/2017/04/28/President%20Trump%20in%20yellow%20chair.jpg_9620156_ver1.0_1280_720.jpg
"Their love for each other, people say it's one of the clearest loves in history. So sad!"

Does... he not read back over his own scripts?

Watching the episodes, they certainly felt like first drafts.

Honestly, given these scripts I am even more amazed that the cast has delivered the characters I watched.

Yeah hats off to cast and crew for elevating these scripts to even slightly below mediocre.

So acting

Does... he not read back over his own scripts?

― chap, Tuesday, May 12, 2020 7:33 PM (yesterday)

one might have thought this guy was being rudely hyperbolic two years ago but

There are times where it seems Chibnall has set himself a rule where all of these have to be written in order, and he can’t go back and change anything ... once he’s written it.

“Are we eligible too?”
“No, you’re irrelevant.”

It’s like he’s written himself a note, but forgotten to do anything about it on a second draft.

(so pioneering)

at least this was just the new setup finding its feet and didn't remain a constant trait of the era

The dialogue is generally completely empty, the sort of thing that you might put in as a placeholder when blocking the plot, and then come back to fill in with character beats or jokes or subtle foreshadowing or ironic counterpoints. Chibnall does give the occasional line with spark to Jodie, such as “Taking it as a chance to surprise myself,” or “It’s very all that!” suggesting he is aware of the need to make her stand out to the audience. But equally, it suggests he doesn’t see the need for anyone else to do so. Why have a rammed-full TARDIS team of four if three of them are just there to ask “What’s that, Doctor?!” Even more so if her answer every time is “I don’t know, let’s all figure it out at the same time on the next page of the script when someone tells us.”

Keep thinking about the "iconic trio" thing. Has a phrase ever been less apt?

Related to DJP’s point above, they’re kind of iconic to me in the sense that I’ve never pulled so hard for a cast to somehow rise above the incredibly bad material and convince me there are actually stories worth caring about hidden somewhere in all the layers of dumb.

I’ve never had particularly high expectations for doctor who, so it’s difficult for me to be disappointed in it sometimes, but this season was certainly a nadir.

Those scripts are horrible. Imagine really wanting to put work into that pap and try to make something fun out of it, or to try and convince anyone there’s any stakes.

This thread looks at things that went awry between Ed Hime's script and the produced episode of Orphan 55.

Honestly, this kinda confirms what I thought about O55 - the script is genuinely quite good, super fun to read, pops off the page, but it's so let down by the visuals. Like, this scene reads so tense and aesthetically interesting, and it comes out ... just kinda there. pic.twitter.com/JbURzdKVNP

— Sam Maleski (@LookingForTelos) May 11, 2020

(And has a hint that Chibnall took at least a light pass at this, one of three scripts that he didn't add his name to this year:

Sidenote/nitpick: god those scripts use "ICONIC" so fucking much as a descriptor.

)

Script action/parentheticals being semi-literate and cliched is more common than you might think.

(...for tv scripts in general. i haven't looked at many Who scripts.)

This is from the joint script for Fugitive of the Judoon with Vinay Patel. If only Chibnall had some sort of writerly tell, so you could guess which lines were his

https://i.imgur.com/dcquKuN.jpg

the (Beat) as well

So buttons!

had a look through Spyfall for "iconic"s and "so"s, while listening to long-ass Underworld songs for their artist poll. caught a couple of beats along the way:

PASSENGER
Yes, sorry. I'm so clumsy. My sister is always having a go at me for this. Thanks.

OLDER PASSENGER
No problem at all. Enjoy your flight.

The conversation is ever so slightly stilted.

TIBO
And that detached retina --that sounds painful. You've been so unlucky.

RYAN SINCLAIR
So unlucky --

TIBO
So what, we don't see you and now you're off travelling?

ICONIC: moving over Lambeth Bridge to reveal: Thames House

RYAN SINCLAIR
So what, MI6 is trying to kill us?

RYAN SINCLAIR
So one's hidden inside the other.

We're on the face of O --warm, fierce, likeable, so sharp, and a bit ramshackle --watching the TARDIS materialise,

BROWNING
This place. It's open and flat and empty, the whole way round.
(Beat)
So why does it feel like there are things moving out there?

THE DOCTOR
(so quiet)
I don't know.
(Beat)
Let's take a look outside.

SEESAY
From what I understand, we were sent here because you're one of the few people who can stop the attacks on our colleagues. So please, go inside, figure it out, and let us do the job we came for.

Stand-off. Beat.

AND NOW IT'S THE SILHOUETTE THAT LIGHTS UP! A threatening humanoid silhouette now entirely made of light. Glowing! So bright!

And they're moving so fast, like they're feasting on them, with terrible crackles of energy --like they're feral --

Graham checks the screens --so many white glows, moving, bleeding out the camera

The DOCTOR
So you can communicate then. Beyond where?

It's clear it's a threat. The Silhouette so close to him now --his face lit by its glow.

Slowly we pull out to reveal it's part of a thick-tree-trunk like pattern. One of many, amidst darkness. So much darkness.

YAZ KHAN
(so quiet; so mature; to herself)
OK PC Khan. Nothing to worry about.

YAZ KHAN
Don't know.
(Beat)
It was like... nothingness. Nowhere. I was totally alone.
(Beat)
I was so scared.
(Beat)
Ryan, I thought I was dead.

RYAN SINCLAIR
Nah, I'm never gonna let that happen to you.

good luck with that, mate

RYAN SINCLAIR
So do we think Barton was behind assassinating C? And attacking of also the car? And he's in league with these aliens.

THE DOCTOR
What did he say to the creatures in his office?

Yaz KHAN
That they should've been discreet.

THE DOCTOR
So it was like he was in control of them?

The Doctor so still and so quiet as it all connects --

The Doctor steps up --big iconic shot as she announces --

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)The name's Doctor. The Doctor.
(Beat)
We're on the list.

Barton so still, so coiled as he watches.

JUMP CUT: YAZ blows on the dice and throws them -- ICONIC SHOT: the dice tumble down in slo-mo as O and YAZ and a crowd watch --

THE DOCTOR
I'm the Doctor. I’m a plus one.
(Beat)
So -- did you assassinate the head of MI6 yourself? Or just order it?

ICONIC DRONE SHOT: the three bikes zooming down three separate vine alleys --It's bumpy! Close on Graham and Ryan --both yelling as they bump up and down!

The DOCTOR(staring at O; so uneasy)

O
That's my name. And that's why I chose it!
(grins to the others)
So satisfying.

THE MASTER
One last thing. Something you should know. In the seconds before you die.
(so serious)
Everything that you think you know --is a lie.

Close in on the Doctor --oh and she's so scared --

part 2:

The Silhouette next to Ada now --she's so calm --

DANIEL BARTON
So you know. I don't appreciate last minute changes of plan, as I'm about to take off.

O looks at Barton -- so cold. So still. A death stare. Beat.

Close in on O -- so furious. So dark.

YAZ KHAN
So let's get moving.

THE DOCTOR
So this must be --

CHARLES BABBAGE
My Difference Engine.

ICONIC: Ada and the Doctor run out, as the grenade goes off behind them! Boom!

The Doctor and Ada look up --against the night, framed iconically, heroically --

And Graham stamps his feet so fast and so insistent --stamp stamp stamp stamp --no musicality at all --

Laser bolts firing out of the shoe again and again and again! Hitting other things in the street, (lamp-posts, front doors, bushes!) which either spark as they explode or fizzle away --

--But also hitting Silhouettes, which stagger back, their heads slamming backwards and upwards in pain -- screeching --turning magenta --

And now Graham is turning --like some mad bullfighter stamping and doing a solo El Paso --hands over his head --stamp bolt stamp bolt stamp bolt --so fast, so fast!!

Beat. The woman stares at him with cold contempt.

WOMAN
Well done.

It's so empty, that sentence. Like ashes in the air.

A handful of German SOLDIERS. And a SENIOR OFFICER. He gets down from the vehicle. Looks round. We are behind him centre frame, iconic -- but don't see his face.

And he stamps his foot twice! Two more laser bolts fire out! ICONIC: Push in on heroic bad-ass Graham O'Brien, in his tux. Hard as nails.

THE DOCTOR
So what --you brought the Kasaavin to Earth?

DMP: reveal the iconic building, with a huge V and "DEUTSCHLAND SIEGT AUF ALLEN FRONTEN" banner on it.

GRAHAM O'BRIEN
So what are you, part alien?

DANIEL BARTON
You really don't understand who I am. I build things. I test them.
So I let them test a tiny part of me.
(Beat)
And now it's time for the global rollout. I’m proof of concept.

And O looks at her. So sad.

THE DOCTOR
I bet it wasn't. So arrogant he didn't even change the appearance.

On Ada: OK. Deep breaths from both of them: an iconic pairing.

BARTON (CONT'D)
Funny, right?
(so steely; so still)

Except. Not a joke. We are way past Peak Human. We've created systems that are smarter and can run more efficiently than we do.
(Beat)

So what's our purpose? We must be useful for something.

Close in on Barton. So still. Just watching. Satisfied.

BARTON on stage, sees the energy disappear from his arm and watch, too --and he crawls offstage, so undignified --

THE DOCTOR
Two can play at embedding things in history.
(Beat)

I knew the Silver Lady was important, that you'd built it for a reason. But I couldn't work out why.
(Beat)

So I traced its movements through history. When I saw Barton now owned it, we stopped off in his office. Middle of last year. Using your Tardis.
(Beat)

I built in a failsafe to that machine. Planted a virus, if it ever detected the massing of a Kasaavin army in its systems.
Total shutdown.

THE DOCTOR (CONT'D)
(in French; so quiet)
Bon chance.

THE DOCTOR
(so gentle)
I'm ever so sorry, Ada --

ADA LOVELACE
But I want that knowledge --
(so tearful)

Don't take it away
...

-- And Ada slumps --the Doctor lowers her into a chair. So gentle.

THE MASTER
(so regretful)
I had to make them pay, Doctor. For what I discovered.

The Silhouette next to Ada now --she's so calm --

(so serious)

audible lol at this one

so steely so still

The worst thing here perhaps is putting in

(Beat)

Tom's putting it in

(Beat)

now.

lol

The conversation is ever so slightly stilted.

Only ever so slightly?

On Ada: OK. Deep breaths from both of them: an iconic pairing.

This shit is ridiculous

it's worse than i ever thought possible

Is it at all likely that these were published in an effort to expose chinballs (not that it wasn't already obvious) for the completely inept and unfit showrunner that he is?

I really want to see the Broadchurch scripts now because I really liked that first season and everyone on it was amazing

The one thing I've read about the writing of Broadchurch is that Chibnall didn't put any clues about the murder into it so that if people guessed he would be able to change the ending during the broadcast run, and didn't tell the bloke who played the murderer that he'd been the murderer all along until he got the final script.

ha

how 2 whodunnit

I remember thinking it was quite easy to guess the murderer in the first season, just pick the least obvious character, QED

Christie is way too clever for that trick

The second season of Broadchurch is the definition of a tension-less mystery and even gets a poor performance out of Howard Stark’s lovely butler

shoes that fire deadly laser beams in all directions with no control

Aside from the below reading as though a child dictated it while hallucinating from a fever, I suppose it's mildly satisfying to have confirmation that Chibnall literally doesn't even consider how Graham avoids slaughtering all his best friends with his stampy laser shoes.

And Graham stamps his feet so fast and so insistent --stamp stamp stamp stamp --no musicality at all --

Laser bolts firing out of the shoe again and again and again! Hitting other things in the street, (lamp-posts, front doors, bushes!) which either spark as they explode or fizzle away --

--But also hitting Silhouettes, which stagger back, their heads slamming backwards and upwards in pain -- screeching --turning magenta --

And now Graham is turning --like some mad bullfighter stamping and doing a solo El Paso --hands over his head --stamp bolt stamp bolt stamp bolt --so fast, so fast!!