start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

These directions should be on the packet

I've had a beard for a few years now, and the only daily shaving I need to do is my neck/throat, which is not much. The other week I finally ran out of this giant pack of pricey Gillette blades, and figured, ok, I give up, Im going to get a trial of one of those Harry's razors I always see advertised and in stores. German engineering! Five blades! Much cheaper than the competition! And just as good! Etc. So I get my free razor in the mail, try it, and ... it kind of sucks. I think, well, maybe my neck just has to get used to it. But it's been a week or so now, and it *still* sucks. Now I think I have to go back to buying expensive Gillette blades just to shave a tiny part of my face, which ... sucks.

Got you with the German engineering routine did they?

the TV adverts make a virtue of the fact that they have 'only' five blades

lol. maybe that's not enough! Fuck it, I'm going with six blades!

I mean, I didn't pay a cent, since it's a free trial, but it's back to the Gillette teat I go.

my ginger beard can clog up any multi-bladed monstrosity within seconds, I had to keep a pin by the sink to get the hairs out. the day I found out about safety razors was a good day.

nobody needs to daily neckshave, cmon

It's mostly grey (white) anyway so you can't see much of the stubble. But I still need to shave at some point.

daily is whats killing you ime, but we're all different

one direction, one slow swipe, three times a week for the bits that arent beard was a sweet spot for me

I trim my beard once a month or so and do my neck and cheeks when I shave my head (using clippers with the cage off) - which is once a week.

Nb, I do not shave my arse.

xxpost Ha, I know how to shave! Been doing it since I was young, in fact. It's the razor, not me.

I have to trim (electric clippers) my beard once a week before it gets ragged looking. My neck/throat (razor) every other day at least if I don't want to look like I'm growing a neckbeard.

A kingdom for some double peanut butter mini magnums.

My irritation with shaving reduced after I started taking the post-shave razor into the shower with me and cleaning it with a concentrated shower head blast. The blades now last at least 10 times longer.

old toothbrush mate

Phone conference systems where you have to say your name on entering - but which broadcast that to yourself as well as everyone else - I never want to hear my voice tbqh, but particularly not before talking to strangers, but particularly not saying my name as if I'm reading two words I've never heard before of a card I've just been handed.

this is me leaving a voicemail, they should replace waterboarding with that

apparently a few people in my company didn't realize it would play the name and said shit like "kiss my ass" as their name only to be horrified when they heard themselves say that moments later.

my favorite though is when it says "please say your name, followed by the pound sign", and nobody remembers to hit the pound sign, so the name is like 30 seconds of the person saying their name, then eating sounds.

late again but that is obv rational pp

(I barely need an excuse to report this)

https://filmeditors.tumblr.com/post/93233199637/shutupaubrey-princesschloepea-life-tip

*repost

I shouldn't make fun, I'm after all the guy who did an unintentional George Carlin routine when he thought he was muted during training just 6 months ago.

no discipline whatsoever. which means nothing more than "we are in such a shit shape right now that we can't afford to suspend you".

i told my kid off - like, seething with anger - when i was wfh one time and thought i was muted on a call.

ohhhhhhh noooooooo

ayyyyyup

back on the line briskly like, 'hi!' then noticing i'd hit 'speaker' instead of 'mute'.

Someone did that to their kid once and the other person on the line freaked out thinking they were talking to her.

I think I saw a symbol in the park painted onto the path that was intended to remind people that they should keep 2metres apart, only what they had marked is more like 2 feet than metres. I could see some purpose in printing it larger so that people saw it and remembered it.
Just am wondering how good people's spacial understanding is, so would have thought actually trying to keep something closer to teh real distance would have been a lot more beneficial.
Hope people aren't now going to think they are keeping 2 metres apart when they're whatever that was.

I think it may have just been abstractly copied from a sign that is going around with the social distancing guidelines on.
Do just think that seeing it at that size might just mislead people.

& again the impossibility of keeping that distance in any supermarket is a little frustrating anyway.

Why do the salt the top part of Pringles instead of the bottom? The shape of a Pringle just about fits perfectly on the tongue, but the salty side is wasted.

Please do not make any sort of reference to r*s*lt*nt p*st*, please. We can talk about Pringles without that.

Couldn't you turn the Pringle upside down and rotate it 90 degrees?

or just salt the resulting paste before using it to stick together two intact pringles?

If you turn it upside down and 90º, it becomes wider than it is ... deep.

Maybe for a big mouth like Tracer Hand that would work, but not for me.

respect to tracer for imagining literally the nastiest way to eat pringles (salt-side-out 3-pringle sandwich filled with resultant pringle-paste)

Tracer is the hero we need.

i'm glad someone's finally saying it.

I can't fucking stand it when my kids (particularly the older one) have FaceTime conversations with their friends while walking around the house. She'll carry it around with her when she's making a snack in the kitchen, or brushing her teeth, and so on. I'll be sitting there, reading a book, and she'll just walk up and go "hi, dad!" And I'll look up and she has the fucking phone in her hand, hanging at her side, swinging around, and often ear buds in, too. I think, 1) that's got to be the worst video call ever and 2) why not go audio only if you're not going to look at the screen and 3) your life is not a fucking reality show, you don't have to broadcast every last second and 4) if it's come to just hanging around me while the phone is running, and your earbuds are in, and making non-conversation, then ... maybe you should just get off the phone and 5) I don't want to be in your reality show, get that thing away from me. I tell her it's rude to both everyone around her as well as the little five inch friend she has perma-streaming on the other end.

kick her out imo

Done.

in times like these rash moves are sometimes necessary

Same same same.

My kids have discovered Facetime.

Nothing like hanging out, socks up on the desk and looking at weird tumblr, when lo and behold, it's the floating head of my mother next to me, being held aloft by one of the brats.

― pplains, Tuesday, November 3, 2015 8:20 PM

afk people in video games. right now i'm doing this more than probably ever (video games) considering, lol, something's gotta pass the time, half the times we start virtual games and a motherfucker disappears 2 minutes into it, ruining it.

also not that it applies atm, but waiters who come to your table and just look at you and don't say anything. I'm like a vampire, I require invitation, so not getting a "hi my name is xxx, what would you like?" leaves me to stare back silently until one of us blinks or walks into traffic

Similarly, I got take-out yesterday, paid at the counter and, since the cashier immediately went back to their phone, sat down to wait for my presumably not-ready-yet order. Ten damn minutes later it becomes clear that one of the several bags that had been sitting on the counter the entire time was mine. The cashier had given me zero indication that my order was ready, or that it was one of the bags already sitting out, and was apparently unbothered that I was sitting there waiting for no reason while my food grew cold right in front of me.

when i go to play a funny game that will make me laugh, and it's filled with some asshole who responds to every prompt with the same forced unfunny meme.

memes used to have a communal aspect to them, now half the time it's one unfunny dick saying the same shit over and over again until someone else joins in because they want him to shut the fuck up and move onto something else.

it's like the dude that says "that's what she said all the time", but even when it doesn't make sense.

one unfunny dick saying the same shit over and over again until someone else joins in because they want him to shut the fuck up and move onto something else

board description

Realised last night that after months of seeing offers for a month's free trial of Netflix they no longer have tehm at the moment. Assume it must be because they've had as many new members as they need.
ho hum.
Wondering if I should go ahead anyway.
Been putting it off cos I spend a lotof time listening to podcasts as it is.

I signed up for them Stevo and think it is a load of shit tbh. As soon as season 4 of Rick and Morty is finished I'm cancelling them.

loads of the series that get raved about on these hallowed pages are absolute garbage, I'm afraid to say!

Clicking on the Facebook logo of a corporate site to see their Facebook page and instead, getting treated to a pop-up window requesting me to log into my account so I can share the damn screen I'm on.