start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

I thoroughly approve.

xp legit the only reason I mentioned it was a small one! they are those reduced sugar ones that were on offer, I think

btw I also find the guardian thing instinctively risible but my teeth would probably agree that magnums oughtnt be bitten into

They can fuck off tho, sensitive snowflakes that they are

I buy the boxes of double raspberry ones when they're on offer because fuck paying full price for a Magnum tbh. all ice cream is breakfast food btw

Double raspberry are too sweet, the best ones are the mint ones but increasingly hard to find

I have no use for mint flavour anything except as a breath freshener

Maybe absinthe if that counts as mint

Fuck now I want absinthe

double choc caramel

if i cant find a magnum cone

Crème de menthe?

it’s far from magnum cones ye were raised

last time I was in your neck of the woods all they had in the shop was strawberry cornettoes

there is complicated physics involved with the eating of the double choc caramel

when magnum cones were first launched i was working for bed (mobile home beside abbatoir) and board (two chicken burgers a day, one with chips) and 1.50 into hand an hour as a kitchen porter, and id still buy one of these beauties a day at 1.33 hour's worth of work

fair enough!

If you want to crack the coating with no loss of chocolate just tap it on a hard surface while it's still in the packet, innit. Any choc that falls off can be eaten from the packet.

Almond Magnum for me - and I wish the pistachio flavour you sometimes see at Waitrose was better.

FYI if you have no spoon out and about, just flick the Magnum to break up the choc while it is still in the wrapper.

These directions should be on the packet

I've had a beard for a few years now, and the only daily shaving I need to do is my neck/throat, which is not much. The other week I finally ran out of this giant pack of pricey Gillette blades, and figured, ok, I give up, Im going to get a trial of one of those Harry's razors I always see advertised and in stores. German engineering! Five blades! Much cheaper than the competition! And just as good! Etc. So I get my free razor in the mail, try it, and ... it kind of sucks. I think, well, maybe my neck just has to get used to it. But it's been a week or so now, and it *still* sucks. Now I think I have to go back to buying expensive Gillette blades just to shave a tiny part of my face, which ... sucks.

Got you with the German engineering routine did they?

the TV adverts make a virtue of the fact that they have 'only' five blades

lol. maybe that's not enough! Fuck it, I'm going with six blades!

I mean, I didn't pay a cent, since it's a free trial, but it's back to the Gillette teat I go.

my ginger beard can clog up any multi-bladed monstrosity within seconds, I had to keep a pin by the sink to get the hairs out. the day I found out about safety razors was a good day.

nobody needs to daily neckshave, cmon

It's mostly grey (white) anyway so you can't see much of the stubble. But I still need to shave at some point.

daily is whats killing you ime, but we're all different

one direction, one slow swipe, three times a week for the bits that arent beard was a sweet spot for me

I trim my beard once a month or so and do my neck and cheeks when I shave my head (using clippers with the cage off) - which is once a week.

Nb, I do not shave my arse.

xxpost Ha, I know how to shave! Been doing it since I was young, in fact. It's the razor, not me.

I have to trim (electric clippers) my beard once a week before it gets ragged looking. My neck/throat (razor) every other day at least if I don't want to look like I'm growing a neckbeard.

A kingdom for some double peanut butter mini magnums.

My irritation with shaving reduced after I started taking the post-shave razor into the shower with me and cleaning it with a concentrated shower head blast. The blades now last at least 10 times longer.

old toothbrush mate

Phone conference systems where you have to say your name on entering - but which broadcast that to yourself as well as everyone else - I never want to hear my voice tbqh, but particularly not before talking to strangers, but particularly not saying my name as if I'm reading two words I've never heard before of a card I've just been handed.

this is me leaving a voicemail, they should replace waterboarding with that

apparently a few people in my company didn't realize it would play the name and said shit like "kiss my ass" as their name only to be horrified when they heard themselves say that moments later.

my favorite though is when it says "please say your name, followed by the pound sign", and nobody remembers to hit the pound sign, so the name is like 30 seconds of the person saying their name, then eating sounds.

late again but that is obv rational pp

(I barely need an excuse to report this)

https://filmeditors.tumblr.com/post/93233199637/shutupaubrey-princesschloepea-life-tip

*repost

I shouldn't make fun, I'm after all the guy who did an unintentional George Carlin routine when he thought he was muted during training just 6 months ago.

no discipline whatsoever. which means nothing more than "we are in such a shit shape right now that we can't afford to suspend you".

i told my kid off - like, seething with anger - when i was wfh one time and thought i was muted on a call.

ohhhhhhh noooooooo

ayyyyyup

back on the line briskly like, 'hi!' then noticing i'd hit 'speaker' instead of 'mute'.

Someone did that to their kid once and the other person on the line freaked out thinking they were talking to her.

I think I saw a symbol in the park painted onto the path that was intended to remind people that they should keep 2metres apart, only what they had marked is more like 2 feet than metres. I could see some purpose in printing it larger so that people saw it and remembered it.
Just am wondering how good people's spacial understanding is, so would have thought actually trying to keep something closer to teh real distance would have been a lot more beneficial.
Hope people aren't now going to think they are keeping 2 metres apart when they're whatever that was.

I think it may have just been abstractly copied from a sign that is going around with the social distancing guidelines on.
Do just think that seeing it at that size might just mislead people.

& again the impossibility of keeping that distance in any supermarket is a little frustrating anyway.

Why do the salt the top part of Pringles instead of the bottom? The shape of a Pringle just about fits perfectly on the tongue, but the salty side is wasted.

Please do not make any sort of reference to r*s*lt*nt p*st*, please. We can talk about Pringles without that.

Couldn't you turn the Pringle upside down and rotate it 90 degrees?

or just salt the resulting paste before using it to stick together two intact pringles?

If you turn it upside down and 90º, it becomes wider than it is ... deep.

Maybe for a big mouth like Tracer Hand that would work, but not for me.

respect to tracer for imagining literally the nastiest way to eat pringles (salt-side-out 3-pringle sandwich filled with resultant pringle-paste)

Tracer is the hero we need.

i'm glad someone's finally saying it.

I can't fucking stand it when my kids (particularly the older one) have FaceTime conversations with their friends while walking around the house. She'll carry it around with her when she's making a snack in the kitchen, or brushing her teeth, and so on. I'll be sitting there, reading a book, and she'll just walk up and go "hi, dad!" And I'll look up and she has the fucking phone in her hand, hanging at her side, swinging around, and often ear buds in, too. I think, 1) that's got to be the worst video call ever and 2) why not go audio only if you're not going to look at the screen and 3) your life is not a fucking reality show, you don't have to broadcast every last second and 4) if it's come to just hanging around me while the phone is running, and your earbuds are in, and making non-conversation, then ... maybe you should just get off the phone and 5) I don't want to be in your reality show, get that thing away from me. I tell her it's rude to both everyone around her as well as the little five inch friend she has perma-streaming on the other end.