Real England

Got to be fake surely?

Don’t interrupt me for a while, I really need to concentrate on this. pic.twitter.com/5ojwzZkJ2F

— Charlotte (@RoylePin) February 29, 2020

the daily sport is not known for its quality factual reporting

https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article3899577.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_Untitled-design-2.jpg

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/abuse-threats-made-greta-thunberg-3897936

this FB profile lineup of the wall of gammon genre is a visually arresting piece of work from the Bristol Post. The "Be KiND" man was advocating throwing a milkshake at an autistic teenager.

nice to see a local paper on the side of good for once

this caused me to check out the shropshire star but it has its hands full currently (also wellies):

Footfall down after floods https://t.co/pJ3Ox7JxRT pic.twitter.com/UDtlPvO3Dt

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) February 28, 2020

it's coming home:

Knife Angel on way to #Telford https://t.co/eZXOcrS7D0 pic.twitter.com/LDzPfpujhF

— SHROPSHIRE (@DailySHROPSHIRE) February 28, 2020

nice to see a local paper on the side of good for once

― Dunty Reggae party 🎉 (Noodle Vague), Monday, March 2, 2020 8:56 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

bristol (and stroud!) are oases of libcuck valour in the benighted west iirc

Just hipster mythologizing I'm sure, and miraculous if that infected the actual gutter of the gutter press

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESIxra7XsAAtynL?format=jpg

so much for keep calm and carry on and England can take it!

England regrets to inform you that for the foreseeable future it will not be taking it

you'd think they could turn up with respirators and some medieval plague doctor cosplay gear on. I thought they were into that kind of shit!

https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/18277936.one-worlds-biggest-greggs-opening-cornmarket/

“Customers have been trying to get in here all day but we have had to tell them to come back."

some serious competition for the Inspector Morse Lewis Endeavour tours arrives in oxford.

“My girlfriend prefers Pret but that’s a bit too healthy for me.”

Are there Greggs' in other countries? I am intrigued.

A Telegraph interview with the CEO suggests not, as foreigners simply don't appreciate a good sausage roll.

I'm more interested in the regional equivalents. The game in NW London appears to be run by Wenzel's, and in E London, Percy Ingle have their little empire. All threatened if not currently overwhelmed by Greggs. Presumably they in turn have caught many of the little independent fish years ago

Greggs have been in Scotland for years but only seems to have become a thing in England, outwith the North, relatively recently.

And then there's Posh Greggs aka Gail's, but my attempts to be pescetarian mean I'm giving them and their sole reason for attendance (the sausage roll) a swerve atm

I think Greggs might work in Belgium. I have vague memories of Meades saying there are vile Anglophile tendencies for English junk food there whilst mockingly eating a cone of chips or something.

In Real Kernow news: Greggs tried, and failed, in Cornwall https://www.theguardian.com/business/shortcuts/2020/jan/15/give-us-real-pasties-why-greggs-is-leaving-cornwall

Greggs has been forced to close its only branch in Cornwall after a backlash from Cornish residents over the selling of pasties.

The bakery chain opened its first store in the county in September 2018 with an outlet at a service station in Saltash but said it will now shut following a "thorough review".

It means Greggs will return to no longer having a presence in Cornwall despite having around 1,500 branches across the country.

The announcement was celebrated by residents who claimed the decision marked a vindication for the traditional Cornish pasty.

Some opponents had branded Greggs as "junk" and warned the chain was never likely to survive long-term in the county.

will massively Leave voting Cornwall's Cornish pasties losing their EU PGI status mean Greggs can start labelling their Beef + Veg rolls as such again? Fucking liberty eh?

Benji's was all over central London ten years ago, don't know what happened there. I can imagine a Greggs in Gibraltar.

Benjis was DISGUSTING. Very cheap, pappy bread and scant filling in the sandwiches.

something opening in Oxford that isn't an identikit tourist tat shop churning out union flag mugs and Harry Potter shite? surely not!

I wonder if the various pasty firms with names like The Real Cornish Pasty Co. operate in Cornwall. none of them sell Cornish Fairings or I'd visit them more often - but then I'm not Cornish and I only wanted a tin to take to my Dad, who's from Devon, which is obv v much the wrong side of the Tamar for understanding Real Cornishness

anyway this thread has been v helpful as I didn't know Gail's did sausage rolls. how did this pass me by? for some reason I thought it was all gluten-free cakes and stuff, one of which appeared in our work one time and was moderately tasty until it went mouldy within 24 hours, which was a bit offputting (it was kept in a tin but probably should have been in the fridge overnight but the box didn't mention that)

Always had an antipathy towards greggs as they seemed to be running sayers out of liverpool. In sayers the pastries were always warm, in fact the traditional pasty filling was akin to molten lava. Just read that sayers are making a return to liverpool city centre so that's good news, alas I'm now in scotland where greggs have a total monopoly

I've always had an antipathy towards Greggs because of the muck they serve up as food!

I have been told my homemade sausage rolls (made with a combo of sausage meat and wild rice-based stuffing) are better than the Gail’s ones :-)

I don't mind Greggs for the odd steak bake or tuna sandwich, cheap and shit is how I roll!

beautiful sentiment calz, makes me feel patriotic

The sausage rolls I make were a reductions swoop on sausage meat and puff pastry and cost roughly £1.50 for 12! Look out, Jack Monroe!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ESRzRL5XYAAE-GW?format=jpg&name=large

burnt out stub of a candle symbolises that this knight of the road has been grieving his late princess for a long time.

Brexit #Sevenoaks style pic.twitter.com/0Lzw3IMTeS

— lindenkk (@Linden_Kemkaran) January 31, 2020

for some context it isn't an ironic post, she's a tory and this is all good!

Seven oaks, twenty gammons

lindenkkk

I have been to Sevenoaks once and that checks out

I’m on the floor of a train that’s full of Home Counties types that either look like mike gapes or Tom blenkindip and like 80% of them gave England flags as an item of clothing

Fiver if you shout "come on Tim!"

I’m not that drunk lad

At least three en are wearing no tops and England flags as capes. Fascinatingly there’s a woman with a hirl and helmet in front of me and I want to ask her whee she plays but I also don’t want to out myself in front of someone with a visible poppy tattoo

ahh rugby fans

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/08/burning-calories-pig-starts-farm-fire-by-excreting-pedometer

BBC News website with the wacky comedy headline on the front page as usual: Pedometer-eating pig's poo starts farm blaze

...then they go for the double with the headline on the article page: Bacon saved after pedometer-eating pig's poo starts farm fire

I’ve been repeatedly travelling the length of the country for the past two years and just realised I’ve hundreds of bleak photos from train/bus windows. Thread: pic.twitter.com/vFf4KKCf58

— Darran Anderson (@Oniropolis) January 3, 2020

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/webimg/QVNIMTE0MDQ0NDUz.jpg?&width=640

Bridlington's Chapmans Funland has filled mechanical grabber arcade games with toilet rolls after seeing the item fly off the shelves over the public's fears they may need to self-isolate.

One man from Pontefract who did get lucky and bagged himself a toilet roll on the machine, said: "I'm chuffed to bits. It were worth driving 68 miles and spending £30 to win that."

xp the third one, Victoria, is my view at least half the week & that whole run-up is bleak af

The last sentence has finished me pic.twitter.com/q6U1wFNZzS

— Andy Ha (@AndyHa_) March 11, 2020

And a bag of Doritos. Sounds like it was worth getting sent home for!

Never change Rochdale. pic.twitter.com/1IE0YRFcYJ

— Elliot Eastwick (@Faycebuk) March 12, 2020