Why America Is Losing The Toilet Race

No one loses the toilet race more profoundly than he who fails to make it to the finish line.

-Bob Marley

hi there, i'm Bill Strang. i've been innovating on the design of bidets for 40 years now

and let me tell you, even when my mind and most of my body is falling apart, i can be confident that my ass area is a quarantined zone of freshness and civility

but you don't have to take my word for it. here are 45 high resolution images of my ass, along with a timelapse where each frame is practically indistinguishable from

This was a discussion I literally had with three other people 2 weeks ago. Japanese toilets are wonderful and they should be in more places in the US (like why aren't they at the very least in every corporate office building). My parents have had them in their house in Virginia for awhile. I think mostly because of my dad's butt and because it raises the seat a bit so it's easier to stand. The heated seat takes awhile to get used to. My favorite function is the white noise/music button for public places.

I am kind of also into the japanese tubs that you can program and that chime and shut off when it's done filling.

My parents have had them in their house in Virginia for awhile. I think mostly because of my dad's butt

I'm howling

We put in one of those high pressure toilets into my old house. It was great except it was so loud it would wake up the entire house in the middle of the night. You really had to make choices.

xpost seriously. Wasn't there a whole era where the noize board was very invested in wet wipes for their butts? A lot of men seem to have sloppy ass function. Not shaming but sometimes changes in the diet can help.

the key is to keep two pairs of nose hair trimmers, and then be sure to label them and never mix them up. or wash them both after every use, just in case

bookmarked

i like when you enter the bathroom, the toilet senses it and opens its lid and swirls some water like it's welcoming a friend.

https://media1.giphy.com/media/SbOF8bImzIHQI/source.gif

why is bugs bunny shitting on the toilet seat

and other childrens stories

America lost the toilet race a long time ago:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLbu0tO9-e0

I thought turbocapitalism was all about private property?

The tank on our ancient six-gallon flush toilet cracked a couple of years ago. We replaced it with a six-liter flush Toto. It's the most basic model, not one with any fancy features. The Toto works superbly, which only means it does exactly what you'd want any toilet to do: it flushes efficiently.

It's somewhat shocking to realize that middle age means I'm no longer immediately changing my screen name to "sloppy ass function"

It would be a shame to ditch the distinguished refinement of your current dn, it's true.

47 is different, man

Every time I come home from Japan I’m always slightly disappointed to have to go back to wiping my own arse. So much so that I’m working on getting at least one Japanese toilet fitted in our new place.

I’ve now learned far too much about this and it can be a simple DIY job to fit a fancy seat if you have a exposed cistern, and have power near the toilet. Plus the Korean and Chinese seats are a lot cheaper (check out the Samsung and MiHome ones).

A whole heap more complicated in our place with concealed cisterns that run off the rainwater tank - more plumbing than I can safely handle myself.

Even with my work travel dialed back to a few trips a year, I spend far too much time away for me to add yet one more reason to miss home

xpost so jealous. I looked into putting in the toilet seat but a nearby electric source was the problem. I am fully going to make this the number 1 priority at my next place.

Not a number 2 priority?

there it is

insert *low hanging fruit* joke

some call those "dingleberries"

Every time I go to Japan I say I’m gonna install one in my flat, but the butt has a short memory. There are even ones made here in France! I just gotta doo it.

he pushed the spray button and had a joyous sensation

is this another reason they have white noise/music features?

I like the oscillating sprayer option. Google translate tells me it is called ショッカー

after reading about the fancy ceiling storage units in the other thread, I am kinda liking the fact my toilet is just a bedpan with a drain.

yeah, i'm looking at my old rolled up fabric softener poopsock that i've been using for the last few years, and it's starting to seem kind of shabby in light of this thread

related question: can any of these bidets double as a doob tube?

Update: i just used the oscillating sprayer today and it came with the ability to set different pressures. The water was very warm.

I kind of want a turbo technology toilet

I just doublechecked again that we can't put one in easily. I can't believe the US is 40 years out of touch with Japan's toilet game. That heated toilet seat is *chef's kiss*.

I have a conceptual problem with heated toilet seats in that I always feel like they're warm because the previous person farted them all up to be damned

i feel like there's a fvckton of internet-of-things malarkey potentially embedded in this tech and the robots are just playing us for sitting ducks

OTOH a Twitter account that posts every time I took a dump would be amazing

Hello, this is container 102145100010148 in Farsund, Norway. I am 3% full.

— Trashcan Life (@trashcanlife) February 27, 2020

yeah i was against the toilet seat being warm at first for that reason and THEN I WARMED UP TO IT.
It's very soothing now.

it would be really awesome for first thing in the morning, that’s for sure

omg lol @ “farted them all up”

It's like being embraced upside down.

I should try to get a job at Toto.

Lifehack: if everyone in town has panic-bought all the toilet paper, get a bidet

All I can see coming out of the young progressives/radicals on ILX these days is that they don't deal well with disappointment. I was as prepared as any of them to both act, donate, and vote in favor of Warren, if she survived the primaries or Sanders, if he survived. They didn't. I'm disappointed, too.

Biden has a good dozen or more black marks on his record. Major ones. I don't overlook them. I see them very clearly. The recent accusation by Reade is gaining and Biden's denials are losing credibility as further facts are gathered and aired. That is a wretched fact to face up to, but none of this is going to change the basic calculation of who, of the two choices who will occupy the office will do the least harm. Not harm to me. I'm granted enough privilege that is not a major concern, short of a catastrophe even beyond Covid-19. Harm to the least privileged. Harm to the earth. Harm to the nation's future. Between Biden and Trump, that is an easy choice.

I didn't fucking vote for Biden, give money to Biden, ask for Biden, and I don't exactly look forward to a Biden presidency. But I do feel an obligation to act in a way that will do the least harm.

And as I recall from November 2016, a lot of ilxors were seriously sick to their stomachs, even desperate at the prospect of four years of Trump. DJP started a serious thread about "Are you going to buy a gun?" We may not be able to swallow Biden with anything other than nausea and trepidation, but for god's sake, remember 2016 and 2017 and 2018 and 2019 and 2020, and figure out which illness is likely to be worse.

Dismissing Biden in precisely the same terms and with the same vehemence as you dismiss Trump is unsettlingly like equating them as equally politically bad. If you think that, you have not been paying attention to McConnell and all of Trump's allies, as compared to Sanders and the allies Biden will need to rely on. FFS, this isn't about inviting Biden to supper or a beer. It's politics.

Sorry. I had to say all that. Now I will bury it quietly somewhere.

*soft water spatter noises*

I think Aimless misspelled bidet

https://i.imgur.com/TN3n0VK.gif