Donald Trump: Classic or Dud?

he must really have exceptional health to have not succumbed to colon cancer by now

How can he succumb to the thing he is the living embodiment of

Yeah this fuels my belief that he is a roiling blob of human cancer. How on earth can he have survived with that diet? He is revolting through and through, like ALL the way up and down and inside out.

there is not actually a clear passage through and through

Good point.

Pretty sure there is beef jerky in his pockets - all pockets - at all times.

what it's actual big macs in the pockets?

he must really have exceptional health to have not succumbed to colon cancer by now

in Putin's Russia colon cancer succumbs to him

!!!!! pic.twitter.com/q7xJ8wGsRD

— Jake Sherman (@JakeSherman) February 24, 2020

But no cauliflower rice, that might push him over the edge into hitting the red button and nuking Mexico or something.

serve him cauliflower ears for dinner

if i known it was that kinda republican party, i woulda stuck my cauliflower in the mashed potatoes

lol

who's a good boy

"making the ice cream less accessible" is excellent

Just store it at floor level. No way he's making it that far down unless he falls.

I assume someone has already alerted Daniel Drezner to that.

On Mar-a-Lago's website, I stumbled on this photo of one of their guest rooms.
If you've stayed here, tell me what they charged you!
Also, tell me what the deal is w/the frog. pic.twitter.com/pthnq4pH4m

— David Fahrenthold (@Fahrenthold) February 24, 2020

The frog was modeled after Trump himself during one of his famous executive time mega dumps

little lord froggleroy

That’s Jeremy Fisher. I don’t know what he’s doing there.

Trump spent 45 minutes today w/producers behind a play that dramatized the text messages between FBI agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, complaining about why "some people are in prison and others aren't." He is now meeting with Diamond and Silk and others. https://t.co/5jIxvyyUfl

— Josh Dawsey (@jdawsey1) February 27, 2020

"THE LOVERS"

The president crouches down to do an impression of Michael Bloomberg being destroyed by Elizabeth Warren. pic.twitter.com/NbwcbUMNtz

— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) February 29, 2020

I understand he didn't try to fuck the flag this time.

every time I see this thread pop up I hope it's because it turned into an RIP thread

I understand he didn't try to fuck the flag this time.

He embraced it, pressed himself against it, rocked back and forth with it while saying "Oh, I love you baby. I love you, baby. I love you. I love you," and then kissed it.

starting to suspect this fella doesn't know what he's doing

strong move, mr. president!

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/03/trump-campaign-sues-washington-post-for-defamation.html

All it took to push Trump out of the media's spotlight was a lil pandemic hysteria

Google news homepage ctrl-f Trump: 6 results
Google news homepage ctrl-f corona: 43 results

On the subject of friendship, Trump was asked in a lightening range

to name his closest friend in Washington. Trump demurred, saying there were too many, but that he’s close to Vice President Pence and members of Congress, even Democrats.

In other words, Trump has no friends.

Trying to think of how any other president would answer that, or even how I would answer that.

Seriously? He could have just said his wife. But Mike Pence?

i guess this is why i'm not president of the united states

"my wife" seems like a kind of pathetic answer/dodge too

shoulda said Mike Pence's wife

my best friend is probably eddy terrance, who works down in the mailroom. it's weird to think that our friendship started off as just "wow, this guy helps process my mail", but that really is how it began

I don't usually post stuff like this, but this is brilliant (at least for the first minute or so--he goes on a little long).

God only brought one guy back from the dead on Easter. Trump is here to bring back the whole economy on Easter 2020. Enjoy this clip (possibly, like, the best ever), share and be sure to subscribe to Making Podcasts Great Again (@TrumpPod) - new every week! pic.twitter.com/aUifVWRzfh

— J-L Cauvin (@JLCauvin) March 24, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSlWI3gUQlo

reminds me of when he took a question from a venezuelan reporter and ignored the question and just ranted about venezuela for a few minutes

Wow, we haven’t seen National Mall this empty since Donald Trump’s inauguration. pic.twitter.com/HVVcb8AYyF

— Translate Trump (@TranslateRealDT) April 3, 2020

Ok lol

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/24/trump-biden-china-debt-205475

Trump owes tens of millions to the Bank of China — and the loan is due soon

To them being a Real Man is simply physically or emotionally dominating those around you, not any of the positive aspects of traditional masculinity (bravery, civic duty, being a responsible father, etc) David is referring to.

— Adam Serwer🍝 (@AdamSerwer) April 24, 2020

So so pathetic
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/25/donald-trump-stays-away-from-briefings-amid-fallout-from-disinfectant-comments

He'll pout for a couple days and then come back and do it all over again.

GoofyI’llfuckindoitagain.jpeg

Just saw the new Crazy Phil Leonetti interview, Trump only mentioned in passing in regard to Trump buying an Atlantic City club from Scarfo. Says he didn't deal with him personally at the time, but Trump had 'made a statement, "those guys are stupid, I would have paid twice as much for that building", you know how he is'

As President he's 'not doing such a great job'.

Not much to add to public record, and not many left yet to comment on that time now.

The “Noble Prize” tweetstorm, deletion, and “I was being sarcastic, duh” finale was pretty funny. Nobody clowns this guy like himself.