Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

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Toejam & Earl featuring Jamie Kennedy and Seann William Scott, all practical make-up fx and unwieldy costumes. Let's make it happen.

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 19 February 2020 20:11 (four years ago) link

most likely: an Ecco the Dolphin movie that just punts everything about its vibe and unfulfilled ambitions, and is just, yknow, a cgi kids movie about a dolphin

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 20:58 (four years ago) link

we need a grittier, sexier reboot of Sonic

frogbs, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:00 (four years ago) link

Honic the Sedgehog

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:20 (four years ago) link

Sonic the Sex Doll

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:27 (four years ago) link

Sonic's Huge Hog

a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham (C. Grisso/McCain), Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:30 (four years ago) link

Hedgecock

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:33 (four years ago) link

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adam, Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:46 (four years ago) link

It's been done

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaztMwvFj7I

(Should say this is not technically NSFW, but it is an advert for porn, so might be technically NSFW)

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 19 February 2020 21:53 (four years ago) link

Invisible Man was actually really good

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 29 February 2020 21:12 (four years ago) link

yeah that's what I've heard.

the only possible bright point of Ghostbusters: Yesanotheronewhy is the presence of Paul Rudd

akm, Saturday, 29 February 2020 21:44 (four years ago) link

fuck off

The Invisible Man

did not know this was the bloke off Recovery's followup to Upgrade, absolutely gonna see it this week

Fantastic. Great move. Well done (sic), Saturday, 29 February 2020 21:47 (four years ago) link

No Time To Die, Peter Rabbit 2 and Mulan all postponed. Maybe it'll be COVID-19 that finally kills off the franchise era.

Maria Edgelord (cryptosicko), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:13 (four years ago) link

WORTH IT

a bevy of supermodels, musicians and Lena Dunham (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:34 (four years ago) link

i liked the invisible man. quite an experience in a movie theatre. don't watch the trailer, it gives away every big scene.

wasdnuos (abanana), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:40 (four years ago) link

Except the success of TIM apparently has inspired Universal to take another crack at the Dark Universe: http://epicstream.com/news/TinyDiapana/Universal-Developing-New-Dracula-Movie-For-Its-Dark-Universe.

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Friday, 13 March 2020 00:54 (four years ago) link

two months pass...

Scoob! has been dumped to VOD, and is apparently not merely bad, but another failed universe-starter:

I’m not really spoiling anything, but the movie switches from being a Scooby-Doo movie to a vehicle to introduce various “B” level Hanna Barbera characters. Scooby and Shaggy join forces with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt: The Dog Wonder to fight Dick Dastardly, who is hunting for three skulls that open Alexander the Great’s tomb and along the way they go to Dinosaur Island and fight Captain Caveman.

Doctor Casino, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:10 (three years ago) link

I will fight anyone who calls Dynomutt a B-level character.

Bougy! Bougie! Bougé! (Eliza D.), Monday, 18 May 2020 14:29 (three years ago) link

Alexander the Great is totally A-level

jmm, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:32 (three years ago) link

Since childhood, Shaggy Rogers, Fred Jones, Velma Dinkley, and Daphne Blake have been solving mysteries across the globe accompanied by Shaggy's pet dog, Scooby-Doo. But their greatest mystery together comes in a turn of events when they run into the Blue Falcon, who is trying to prevent his arch-rival, Dick Dastardly from causing a global "dogpocalypse" by unleashing the Great Cerberus on the world.

dog

pocalypse

jmm, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:38 (three years ago) link

For a better HBCU, watch the mystery solvers club episode of mystery inc instead.

wasdnous (abanana), Monday, 18 May 2020 14:43 (three years ago) link

truly struggling with this use of "HBCU"

Doctor Casino, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:45 (three years ago) link

looool

peace, man, Monday, 18 May 2020 14:47 (three years ago) link

So many goddamn universes and they still haven't made my Captain Crunch/Count Chocula Cereal Mascots cinematic universe yet

Vinnie, Monday, 18 May 2020 15:13 (three years ago) link

adogalypse imo

Bleeqwot (sic), Monday, 18 May 2020 21:21 (three years ago) link

I was just being silly but now that I've learned of the existence of that movie I kind of want to watch it xp

Vinnie, Tuesday, 19 May 2020 00:51 (three years ago) link

seven months pass...

Did any of these come out

Canon in Deez (silby), Thursday, 14 January 2021 06:32 (three years ago) link

Doodoolittle did

Looking for Cape Penis house (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 January 2021 06:33 (three years ago) link

Did any of these come out

Ghostbusters: Afterlife - bumped until after pandemic
Dolittle - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Scoob! - have a feeling this was in cinemas and went to 'vid on demand
Morbius - bumped until after pandemic, most recently rescheuled yesterday
Sonic the Hedgehog - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Minions: The Rise of Gru - dunno
Bad Boys for Life - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
Mulan - came out mid-pandemic, was Disney+ exclusive in USA iirc
Trolls World Tour - dunno, think it came out sometime?
Tom and Jerry - dunno, prob bumped
Top Gun: Maverick - bumped until after pandemic
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It - dunno, prob bumped
The King's Man - bumped iirc
Bob's Burgers: The Movie - dunno, prob bumped
Impractical Jokers: The Movie - dunno, prob bumped
No Time to Die - bumped until after pandemic, currently scheduled for first weekend in April, entire studio trying to sell itself to cover losses
Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway - dunno, prob bumped
A Quiet Place: Part II - bumped until after pandemic
Candyman - bumped until after pandemic, to open at Halloween. was moved again when pandemic was still happening at Halloween.
The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard - dunno, prob bumped
Halloween Kills - bumped until after pandemic. scheduled for Halloween 2021
The Grudge - dunno
Godzilla vs. Kong - bumped until after pandemic
Coming 2 America - bumped until after pandemic
Fast & Furious 9 - bumped until after pandemic
Fantasy Island - dunno, prob bumped
The Croods 2 - may have come out?
Venom 2 - bumped iirc
Brahms: The Boy II - dunno, prob bumped
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run - I think maybe this came out in Canada only, ROW is waiting until after pandemic?
West Side Story - bumped until after pandemic, now scheduled for 60th anniversary of first film adap
The Purge 5 - dunno, prob bumped
Bill & Ted Face the Music - came the fuck on out mid-pandemic. screened at 4 out of 5 Washington drive-ins iirc, was day-and-date VOD in US, causing aggravation for other countries who wanted to not risk death by going to cinema
Birds of Prey - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC
P.S. I Still Love You - dunno, prob bumped
The New Mutants - came the fuck on out mid-pandemic. huge box-office success at $21 million, probably would have been regarded as expected disaster if it had made more than that in non-pando times.
Black Widow - bumped until after pandemic
The Invisible Man - RELEASED BEFORE PANDEMIC, bangs
The Eternals - bumped until after pandemic
Escape Room 2 - dunno, prob bumped
Wonder Woman 1984 - bumped until after pandemic. pandemic was still happening at Christmas so just came out anyway.

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:23 (three years ago) link

Coming 2 America - bumped until after pandemic

except in the US where it will be direct-to-Bezos iirc, currently scheduled for release juuuust after the crest of the pandemic, dunno if its Bezorelease is legally tied to cinema release in countries or states with cinemas

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:29 (three years ago) link

Pretty sure Fantasy Island came out and (unsurprisingly) got abysmal reviews

New Bond just got bumped again to Autumn

groovypanda, Thursday, 14 January 2021 07:47 (three years ago) link

Fantasy Island was theatrically released in the United States on February 14, 2020 by Sony Pictures Releasing to overwhelmingly negative reviews. Despite this, the film was a box office success, grossing $48 million worldwide against its $7 million production budget.

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 08:17 (three years ago) link

Scoob! has been dumped to VOD, and is apparently not merely bad, but another failed universe-starter:

I’m not really spoiling anything, but the movie switches from being a Scooby-Doo movie to a vehicle to introduce various “B” level Hanna Barbera characters. (etc)

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, May 19, 2020 12:10 AM (seven months ago)

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:29 (three years ago) link

Yesterday I saw a trailer for Wonder Woman 1984 that makes me more optimistic--soundtracked to "Blue Monday" and featuring gloriously lol-80s graphic effects. I think I'm going to have to see this for the art direction if nothing else.

― Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Tuesday, January 28, 2020 1:04 AM (eleven months ago)

monkey's paw twitches

Can I just say I much more enjoy this stage of proceedings than the bit where, later in the year, half these films get their own threads and people start to unnaccountably say positive things about them?

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, January 15, 2020 1:08 PM (eleven months ago)

monkey's paw spasms uncontrollably for eighteen months or more

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:30 (three years ago) link

I saw Fantasy Island, The Grudge and Brahms the Boy in the cinema so they were released in the UK at least. I wouldn't recommend them.

The Fantasy Island film is a prequel and Jimmy O Yang becomes Tattoo.

Animal Bitrate (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:57 (three years ago) link

I didn't see the WW trailer but that sounds infinitely better than the actual movie xp

groovypanda, Thursday, 14 January 2021 09:58 (three years ago) link

damn, good work sic.

i'm pretty sure Croods 2 and Trolls World Tour both came out during quarantine. there must have been some general studio calculus that lost box office bucks were a fair trade for streaming service loyalty from frazzled parents, desperate for their kids to put something DIFFERENT on for twenty times in a row.

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 14 January 2021 13:59 (three years ago) link

yep, sic is surely the James Brown of ilxor.com

Vinnie, Thursday, 14 January 2021 14:03 (three years ago) link

I mean, minus the controversial James Brown stuff

Vinnie, Thursday, 14 January 2021 14:03 (three years ago) link

hey, the Impractical Jokers movie came out, it was okay

frogbs, Thursday, 14 January 2021 15:18 (three years ago) link

actually no I was really irritated by it, all they had to do was follow the Jackass template and it would've been great but they tried to shoehorn a plot into it

so it was half good

frogbs, Thursday, 14 January 2021 15:19 (three years ago) link

i liked trolls world tour

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 14 January 2021 19:01 (three years ago) link

Saw The Invisible Man (very good) and P.S. I Still Love You (already forgotten it). Haven't seen the new Bill & Ted yet, but I've heard good things.

I don't know if I should even bother doing one of these polls this year, considering that a lot of this stuff was/is pushed back. Let's meet here again in 2022.

Langdon Alger Stole the Highlights (cryptosicko), Thursday, 14 January 2021 19:10 (three years ago) link

Bill & Ted is at least as good as you reasonably could hope for a 30-years-later threequel, while obviously showing seams of losing 1/3 of their budget immediately before production, and then losing the ability to shoot a planned ending and pickups due to pandemic.

(You can also see the edges of a planned plotline that got cut for budget before the shooting script.)

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:04 (three years ago) link

agree it’s not v good

Yelp for gyros (wins), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:10 (three years ago) link

it's v not bad though

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:15 (three years ago) link

Personally would not go as far as “v” even with 4 layers of special pleading tbh

Yelp for gyros (wins), Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:22 (three years ago) link

it's a Bill & Ted sequel imo

shivers me timber (sic), Thursday, 14 January 2021 21:02 (three years ago) link

here we fuckin go

Warner Bros. has set a date for 'Wonka,' an origin story focusing on the storied chocolate factory ownerhttps://t.co/S2UgVSzuqg

— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) January 19, 2021

boz conspiracy by toby hus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 19 January 2021 17:42 (three years ago) link


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