your terrible ideas

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lol

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 February 2020 12:31 (four years ago) link

There could be a Tetris 99 onliine multiplayer version, which would just be 100 people shrugging their shoulders and going WTF?!

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 7 February 2020 13:03 (four years ago) link

I'm picturing an alternative mode which is just one giant rectangle, one block narrower than the width of the board, slowly dropping and eventually filling the entire board. Except for that one empty column, of course.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 February 2020 13:39 (four years ago) link

And maybe have a display on the side showing that the next block up is a 1x4.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 February 2020 13:41 (four years ago) link

I don't think the 2x2-only game would be over very quickly. It'd quickly be too easy to be considered a game, though.

zuck zuck lucify (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 February 2020 15:32 (four years ago) link

this reminds me of the time I played a pc version of tetris and for whatever reason for just this one game basically 3 out of every 4 blocks was a 4x1. I made a ridiculously high score and I never got that weird glitch again after that so there was always this completely unattainable high score.

So anyway, turn this bug into a feature in Tetris 99, make it so it happens like maybe once every 1000 games or whatever.

silverfish, Friday, 7 February 2020 16:32 (four years ago) link

A version of Tetris where you wait and wait and the blocks never fall and then eventually digital rain starts to fall instead and the game board slowly fills with digital water and then like twenty minutes later one sad little block ploops into the water and slowly sinks to the bottom.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 February 2020 16:35 (four years ago) link

avocado insurance. you pay them a $10 premium every month (or $90 upfront for the year), and they will replace all of your large pitted, speckled, or stringy avocado purchases. you can also get coverage for damages sustained when you unknowingly give a bad avo to a friend and feel like shit about it afterward.

zuck zuck lucify (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 February 2020 18:44 (four years ago) link

they pay you a day's wage while you take off work to plan how you can make it up to your avo friend or possibly decide if they will continue to be your avo friend

zuck zuck lucify (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 February 2020 18:45 (four years ago) link

you can hire someone to write your resume. you should also be able to hire someone to write your peer performance reviews.

zuck zuck lucify (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 7 February 2020 18:55 (four years ago) link

this reminds me of the time I played a pc version of tetris and for whatever reason for just this one game basically 3 out of every 4 blocks was a 4x1. I made a ridiculously high score

silverfish, I initially read "pc" as "politically correct" and I in my head I constructed a mock-indignant bit like "SEE? The snowflake libs and their participation trophies and their tender feewings make everything too easy! It's political correctness GONE MAD! Gone mad, I tell you!"

beelzebubbly (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 7 February 2020 19:33 (four years ago) link

porn version of The Masked Singer called The Mast Dinger

zuck zuck lucify (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 8 February 2020 19:46 (four years ago) link

Who are ya? Who are ya? Who's that inside my ass?

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 8 February 2020 20:03 (four years ago) link

There is a subgenre of books by women who recover from the agonies of life by rescuing dogs. There is another subgenre of books by women who recover from the agonies of life by moving to Tuscany. What about a book following a woman, seeking to recover from the agonies of life, who moves to Tuscany and starts rescuing local dogs? (I've done enough research to discover that Maremma Sheepdogs are the dogs she'd be rescuing.)

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Saturday, 8 February 2020 21:12 (four years ago) link

Ok but only if written from a dog's point of view.

"Signora Karen, she gave us the bone from her osso bucco. Then she wept at the beauty of the sunset. Whatever, as the Americans say. I turned away and began to lick my butt."

beelzebubbly (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 8 February 2020 22:29 (four years ago) link

Y'know, terrible ideas are only terrible in the wrong hands.

What I'm saying here is: kid, you got the goods.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Saturday, 8 February 2020 22:46 (four years ago) link

You talkin about cans

ill fuckin put a paste on those (Neanderthal), Sunday, 9 February 2020 00:09 (four years ago) link

A mobile phone case specifically aimed at lol hueg phablet users (like the upcoming Samsung S20 Ultra) that makes the phone look like an Apple Newton MessagePad.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Tuesday, 11 February 2020 21:50 (four years ago) link

A phone that unfailingly shreds any pocket you try to stuff it into.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 11 February 2020 22:16 (four years ago) link

Posting recordings of Bach cantatas to youtube under incorrect, fake German titles that include the word "Bieber"

BWV 742: Gottes Meine Bieber Freunde

BWV 139: Ich Bin Von Bieber Nicht Mitte Jesu

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:54 (four years ago) link

Again, this is the thread for terrible ideas.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:55 (four years ago) link

The idea of these videos just gradually proliferating across youtube until they dominate all Bach cantata content is really getting me, especially the image of confused Bach fans and scholars commenting that the titles appear to be incorrect

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:57 (four years ago) link

BWV 72: Widergest eine Bieber, zehr geist vom zu kirchejahr

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:59 (four years ago) link

Or Bieber fans who become Bach fans thanks to these videos and disseminate these incorrect titles far and wide.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:00 (four years ago) link

I posted some tv show opening credits with the wrong theme tunes (without labeling them as such) a few years back, it seemed to make people furious, which was the intended effect tbh.

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:01 (four years ago) link

There are many 'terrible' ideas along these lines that I would gleefully undertake if we weren't, as a society, at an all-time credulity peak and if this, our reality, weren't so close to disintegrating altogether as a result.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:02 (four years ago) link

In phase 2, I would post videos of myself in professorial garb at a lectern, delivering plagiarized lectures on bach cantatas that sub in the "bieberized" titles

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:02 (four years ago) link

I posted some tv show opening credits with the wrong theme tunes (without labeling them as such) a few years back, it seemed to make people furious, which was the intended effect tbh.

― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, February 13, 2020 11:01 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

I love this -- are they still up?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:03 (four years ago) link

Here is the only one I can find

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBkYF_hsjhA

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:03 (four years ago) link

HAHAHA

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:06 (four years ago) link

I feel like the Sanford and Son theme would be great for a lot of them. Maybe every show with the Sanford and Son theme.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:07 (four years ago) link

My gf a couple years back made me two t-shirts for my birthday: one with a picture of the Monkees under the Air Supply logo, and one with just Nesmith and Dolenz labeled as Hall and Oates. So speaking as an idiot who finds this like the apex of comedy, I salute you.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:08 (four years ago) link

*tanner family driving across golden gate bridge*
*funky clavinet starts*

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:09 (four years ago) link

Yessssssss. I knew of another site like that but I think they got shut down. Probably for being geniuses.

Sammo Hazuki's Tago Mago Cantina (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 February 2020 17:14 (four years ago) link

Not my terrible idea, but someone has made real the terrible idea of a superbright bicycle headlight that strobes.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 14 February 2020 19:36 (four years ago) link

The Music Man made as a movie musical where it's brought into the 21st century, and Henry Hill comes to a small impoverished American town to teach a group of misfit young kids how to mumble rap.

ending is changed and he is run over by a semitruck

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 15 February 2020 20:23 (four years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

― snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:46 (ten years ago)

A couple of days ago I tried putting Golden Syrup on cheese & onion crisps. I thought that the sweet and savoury flavours might work together, but instead they cancelled each other out somehow and the result tasted slightly sweet with a hint of potato/cardboard and nothing else.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, 16 February 2020 17:06 (four years ago) link

Golden Syrup on Salt & Vinegar crisps surprisingly good however.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, 16 February 2020 21:04 (four years ago) link

Good for you, you kept on going.

pplains, Monday, 17 February 2020 00:00 (four years ago) link

dystopian novel set in future american civil war where both sides are being financially backed by tv channels making reality shows

both channels turn out to be owned by the same company

or something like that

doo rag, Tuesday, 18 February 2020 09:28 (four years ago) link

How about the same premise, except it's the actual American Civil War of the 1860s.

pplains, Tuesday, 18 February 2020 14:31 (four years ago) link

"General Johnston, you've been eliminated."

"General Sickles, you have immunity, so you will continue to the next round, but I'm gonna need that leg."

Natalie Wouldn't (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 18 February 2020 14:55 (four years ago) link

a law that allows adults with braces to skip airport security. clearly, they plan to be alive for awhile.

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 20 February 2020 19:52 (four years ago) link

An advert for Bisto gravy that uses Ottowan's 'DISCO' for the music, and it's set in a recreation of Studio 54. Except people on the dancefloor are smearing themselves in gravy and snorting gravy powder like cocaine etc..

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:00 (four years ago) link

here is my terrible idea:

an underwear line made up entirely of thongs silkscreened with Bloomberg's face

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:06 (four years ago) link

Do you mean garments upon which Bloomberg's visage has been applied via silkscreen or do you mean that someone has removed Bloomberg's face and is using it to silkscreen garments

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:13 (four years ago) link

I think like the Turin shroud

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:14 (four years ago) link

removing Bloomberg's face is not a terrible idea

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:16 (four years ago) link

This is not my terrible idea but WOW is it terrible

McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef. pic.twitter.com/XpBv6l79S0

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 20, 2020

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:18 (four years ago) link


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