Real England

needs more golliwogs

Really relieved that Blitz is kitchen roll, because you’d probably rub your arsehole redder than Cromblyn judging purely by the packaging.

the bog roll is called Area Bombing iirc

He couldn't get away with golliwogs in Thornhill Lees, his shop would get burnt to the ground! But that would probably be a talking point with him.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/feb/07/liam-gallagher-son-ringo-starr-grandson-in-court-over-tesco-affray-charge

(Gallagher) arrived at Highbury Corner magistrates court in London accompanied by his uncle, Liam Howlett of the Prodigy..

lol wtf!

"tesco affray" is a good phrase

(howlett is married to a different appleton sister)

Liam's boy looks like... Damon Albarn!

omg he does

jfc will you listen to this pair of wallies

BA 777 Touch & Go from todays #StormCiara show. 👏 pic.twitter.com/sn3MOJ1BuG

— BIG JET TV (@BigJetTVLIVE) February 9, 2020

can i get Big Jet TV on Freeview?

no

Seen this on FB and couldn’t share it so had to screen shot it and post it here!!! 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/4ZYfbyXupW

— J A D E ♡ (@JadeStamate) February 11, 2020

(not only a comment on the current weather, but also a future summary of this coming year of Brexit)

Walking on an incline through saturated impossibly slippery mud is something I've almost mastered, but I took a bad fall a couple of weeks back. My Real England moment today was walking past two very dodgy looking lads, one of them with an air rifle with with a telescopic sight on it and he says to me as I'm nervously looking at his gun: "you want to watch that path it is very slippy mate" ..

Thoughtful young chap.

“do you have the New York Times?”

“ah no. we just have English papers here, Sir.”

“and the Irish Independent.”

“ah yes. only UK papers.”

not enough ellipses in the world to convey my reaction to that

Eric Bristow MBE Graffiti #Sheffield 2020 https://t.co/NXsZIjHzb8 pic.twitter.com/lIUtgBdcvr

— BLTP (@Gargarin) February 18, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYyxdmHogLU

Tune

What you see is what you get here. Nothing fake. Great to see a man proud of his town and where he comes from. Vote Nandy,

Lyrics written by John Dawson, Mike Baker, Matt Wilson, Dave Hardy, Bernie Belsham, Jamie Terrell, Simon Juniper.

Romford gone to the dogs.

"River Rom" eh? (googles)... "Romford is first recorded in 1177 as Romfort, which is formed from Old English 'rūm' and 'ford' and means "the wide or spacious ford".[12] The naming of the River Rom is a local 'back-formation' from the name of the town; and the river is elsewhere known as the Beam."

My stepmother is from Romford/Upminster, however despite this I still quite like the song.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/feb/20/speedo-mick-charity-walker-nears-end-uk-trek-just-trunks

because he is raising money for charity would it be churlish of me to think this lad is an attention-hungry tit?

EXCL - Tommy Robinson has joined Toby Young's Free Speech Union, and his membership will not be revokedhttps://t.co/Yk4ZLhxLfk

— Scram News (@ScramNews) February 25, 2020

Free speech is Real America iirc.

does this mean Toby Young has or hasn't been offered another quango? I can't tell these days.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/feb/20/speedo-mick-charity-walker-nears-end-uk-trek-just-trunks

because he is raising money for charity would it be churlish of me to think this lad is an attention-hungry tit?

― babby bitter (Noodle Vague), Friday, 21 February 2020 18:02 (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

The cynic in me thinks the majority of people raising money for charity are attention-hungry but this fella takes the cake yes

he seems fucking horrible, but I'm very Catholic when it comes to irl partial nudity that isn't in a swimming pool context and perhaps I'm being unfair!

This is John Manley from Netherton who used a digger to smash up a brand new Travelodge on Edge Lane because he'd not been paid his wages... he's been jailed today for five years and four months #CapitalReports pic.twitter.com/q9akHkIaZE

— CapitalLivNews (@CapitalLivNews) February 26, 2020

5 years? gtfo he only trashed a hotel ffs.

That London Resort thing really is amazing. Swanscombe is weapons-grade Real England, a perfect place for it. Played cricket there a few years ago and found the locals to be racked with ressentiment and listless aggression to an almost tragic degree. Tales told of how they almost started a fight against our 3rd XI while blatantly attempting to cheat their way to victory and racially abusing our Asian players. When I was there they had us 3 or 4 down for nothing, I walked out to steady the ship and got a full toss which I chipped meatily off my legs for what I assumed was a boundary. They'd hidden a 13 year-old fat kid, one of the other player's sons, at short fine leg, where he was clearly expected to not do any fielding. Of course he fucking held the catch. They are a mutant breed out there

(xp) Ridiculous sentence.

he was sleeping on friends floors, skint and christmas was approaching and his wages were unpaid .. of course the property of some poxy global hotel chain is more important than a human life.

What is the crime of trashing a Travelodge against the crime of opening one?

the only real crime is violence against private property iirc

(warming to Swanscombe now)

Look who's thrown their balaclava into the ring for London mayor - it's DrillMinister, a radical moderate, doing radical things with a moderate message, reaching out to everyone.

People are just trying to find their way through this maze we call London life and I think we need a mayor that kind of resembles what people recognise as a Londoner as opposed to somebody dictating to them what a Londoner is.

"Any person that doesn't have love for the Queen - what money are you using?"

(xp)

Mullins is the son of a factory worker father and a bartender and cleaner mother.[2] When he was born, they "lived in a couple of rooms in Camden", before moving to the Rockingham Estate in London's Elephant and Castle, where he grew up, and left school at 15 with no qualifications.[2][3]

It gets better, his real first name is Sidney!

at least when the DrillMaster get's a bit too pompous or starts talking about himself in the third person in an ominous tone you can say oh do shut up, Sydney.

... Mullins' real first name is Sidney not DrillMaster!

Drill Minister. I mean!

oh yes my mistake, can't be getting masters mixed up with ministers!

Footage from the #UK: A cop chasing someone ends up getting stuck on a fence. 😂#ACAB pic.twitter.com/7JIaOKiPN8

— th1an1 (@th1an1) February 28, 2020

Got to be fake surely?

Don’t interrupt me for a while, I really need to concentrate on this. pic.twitter.com/5ojwzZkJ2F

— Charlotte (@RoylePin) February 29, 2020

the daily sport is not known for its quality factual reporting