Tea With the Flames: A QUEER New Year to Keep You Warm in WINTER 2020

I like it alone and with friends. I like taking video! So nice to have video of yourself and your friends blasted out of your minds like a That 70s Show moment

so cute!

i have to tell you that this weekend was a travesty for my self-esteem.
i had one of those moments when i looked in the mirror and promptly picked apart everything about physical appearance. at the very least it inspired me to go to the spa. it's amazing what it takes sometimes to make you go to the spa.
also i had an awkward run-in yesterday. an acquaintance of mine is always on my Grindr grid, and one day months and months ago i sent him a message saying it was good to see him recently and just making light of how we're both on the app so much. totally fine and we laughed it off. then the other night i sent him a message like totally in the middle of the night just being like "go to bed! haha" and he didn't respond! like is that just not ok? a 4am Grindr message between friends? and now i have to see him at parties and stuff. i don't want him thinking i'm THAT GUY!

just for a little bit of perspective, the range of weird human behavior is like the size of the solar system compared to that little detour. i try to tell myself that whenever i wake up at 4 am with my mind racing about how weird, embarrassing and not self-aware i am.

ok so true. thx

I bet he doesn't even remember! Remember that Grindr is not the place to ever expect a reply.

for shizzle, tbh i never do
maybe he didn't even see it until later!

I'm so happy I don't use Grindr (or any app). You tell somebody you're not interested in anything tonight thank you, and then they message you again an hour later "IF YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL ONLINE" and it's like... I hate blocking people.

Somebody did build a profile with my face and info, it got back to me that it existed, very scary

Always seems so crazy to

Help.... I am talking to a guy on there who is way out of my league. Like way. What do I do

Keep talking? Go have sex with him? I swear I think Grindr has changed (for the worse) the way gay men interact w each other, feel about their own bodies and the bodies of others, and conditioned its users to be in a constant state of feeling rejected. (Not projecting, this doesn’t apply to all, just many of my observes Grindr-addict faggo friends)

I got in an argument a few months ago because I proposed to one friend that he remember (when feeling bad about his body) all the great sexual experiences he’d had with people who were by-society’s-metrics “undesirable”— another friend got mad at me for suggesting that one can “shrug off the mantle of body capitalism”, which wasn’t what I was suggesting; the implication that “hot =/= good at sex” was offensive to my second friend

well, it's also this weird sort of animalistic thing. you know like, there's only so much self-esteem you can have before the primal laws of attraction kick in. like you can't circumvent attraction. and there do seem to be some dominant characteristics of desirability when it comes to most sexual orientations.

BUT i think you're right that Grindr is an extremely slippery slope. as evolved persons, and can be very toxic. i like to think that these days most people in our culture at least understand the beauty of being human and the differences between humans. loved the usage of the expression "dad bod" that hit it big a few years ago bc dad bod is p much my aesthetic, without the kids. lol.

oh hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

i have met a couple of new people online and they're cute, i'm excited to meet them this week or so, i need to like go to the gym

one guy is excited to teach me how to top . . . . . . . . . . . .

what online service you use most these days, surm?

I've been away from the gym for, now, months. I am a parody of a partnered gay man.

you know, it's usually grindr for me. i find that bc i'm scruffy the opposites attract thing usually works on grindr. on scruff i'm just just one man in a see of scruffy men.

Last weekend, my bf came home around midnight and said he was hungry
I just plopped together fresh homemade pasta and a tuna-tomato sauce with an arugula salad in 25 minutes
He got emotional and said,
"Remember when you said 'it's weird that you fell in love with me without having tasted my cooking yet' well I get what you mean now"

omg
that's so sweet
my ex used to do that for me, midnight pasta
always amazed me and made my heart sing <3

so liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike i'm going to the gym tonight you know to lift a few weights, but i've decided that i can't be the type of person who does cardio at the gym. like i would feel ridiculous. i'll just keep playing tennis against the wall.

The overheard conversations at MoMA before the Fred Halsted arty '70s p0rn films were quite something...

"Hi, Daddy."

"I was hooking up on gay.com when I was 15, but those guys, including the local cop, knew what they were doing..."

"He's hot for a 22-year-old dom."

Eric, i've been away from the gym since 1985 and never looked back.

there is a guy at every gym who is petite but jacked, around 50, wears bootie shorts and an american eagle/abercrombie shirt, trails a cloud of noxious cologne, who is always trying to make eye contact with me. sorry but i don't care that you exist and please go away because i literally cannot breathe when you're within twenty feet of me

people at the gym who are aggressively not minding their own business make me want to kill or be killed. so i'm just going to share my bitchy psa here with absolutely no particular person in mind: please focus on your workout and don't spray yourself with cologne, thank u.

ok so i had a new idea

i'm going to start using the ROWING MACHINE at the gym

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also i would like to tell you that my topping lesson last night went real bad
at least i was able to have a chuckle with the guy after but like
i don't think i'm into penetration anymore, it's just not my thing

i mean there is some similarity between topping and using the rowing machine so maybe you still have hope ;)

LOL

i don't think i'm into penetration anymore, it's just not my thing

stop b4 you turn into me

lol i think we have more in common than you may realize
what's on tap for the weekend y'all

the remastered version of the queen - as in mother flawless superior, not the british lady - is on netflix
https://www.netflix.com/title/81220949

What are our thoughts on Queen Latifah?

I made penne-and-cheese at 1am from scratch last night because bf was like "I am craving Kraft dinner".

I made penne from scratch and threw a clomp of grana padano in a saucepan with some butter and cheese, and sliced the rind up finely and let it gooeify the proceedings. The whole affair took 20 minutes.

He was very moved by the fact that I was able to do this for him, just produce the food he wanted with a snap of his fingers.

Today: the fragrancy of the flatulent effects of late-night dairy consumption.

the recipe you describe (minus the rind) is one of my fav things to eat in the world

the fragrancy of the flatulent effects of late-night dairy consumption.

best thing on earth

i ORDERED penna a la vodka last night at 1am! great minds!

What are our thoughts on Queen Latifah?

excellent in Set It Off

I probably should see Last Holiday.

The ALEC GUINNESS version? (also queer)

the flatulent effects of late-night dairy consumption

my new screenname in a nutshell

did i tell u guys that i noticed a new line on my body? yes. during my bimonthly physical evaluation of myself in my 80" tall mirror, i noticed something. at first i thought it was fat and I was looking pudgy, but then i looked closer and it was A LINE. like A MUSCLE. i was shocked. it seems to be a pectoral muscle, and it's barely visible to the naked eye, but it's there. this is shaking my world.

put some pesto on it!!

honey, i said pectoral muscle, not pestoral muscle

i need a pecture of yr pectoral

oh no
i am definitely not a picture pec
what a beautiful day of rain here in NY today

Met a dude last night after I blasted a karaoke crowd into submission with my cover of Blondie's "Atomic." The hair in the back was rather long for my taste, but we chatted at the bar, bought each other beers, and tongued quietly.

Overheard: Girl to boyfriend: "They're having more fun than we are."

:) i just discovered the Blondie Autoamerican album on my own and i'm really into it

did you make out at the bar? i always wonder if people are judging me when i do that. i wouldn't judge you. been there plenty and it does sound fun :P

A gin and tonic and two beers and I'm ready to make out gladly with Elizabeth Warren.