Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

Didn't even notice the Minions sequel, would have voted that. Probably my brain was trying to protect me. Minions must be among the top 5 worst movies I've seen in a theater

I saw Parasite yesterday in a packed 6:00pm screening and the previews were:
Ghostbusters Afterlife
Top Gun Maverick
some kind of Bourne-related tv show on amazon (doubly wtf)
Black Widow
In the Heights

I'm allergic to Lin Manuel Miranda's whole deal, but it seemed quasi-miraculous after the others. Part of Parasite's surprising success in N America must be related to how thoroughly demoralizing sitting through those trailers felt. Top Gun in particular played like a witless parody of the thread phenomenon.

This new Scooby-Doo looks like quite a departure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P8R2zAhEwg

ok lol

Yesterday I saw a trailer for Wonder Woman 1984 that makes me more optimistic--soundtracked to "Blue Monday" and featuring gloriously lol-80s graphic effects. I think I'm going to have to see this for the art direction if nothing else.

Studios will look at the success of Parasite and the failure of Terminator and they will still say, hmmm, looks like nobody has made a film adaptation of the beloved '80s sitcom Small Wonder, let us throw $800 million at that idea and see how much of it winds up straight in the toilet.

I saw that trailer too, but was disappointed that it had some weird version of Blue Monday with rock guitars. :(

(xpost)

US election

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjzVbTBF8o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBa9lELOOoo

Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

fuck off

Bad Boys for Life

watched this for free and: it's aight. the absence of Bay leaves the filmmmakers vaguely enabled to make the film about something and to not invade another country for lols. it's not about much: just aging, and growing apart, and the value of retaining some capability to change and adapt in your later years. but these themes are woven into the plot, events and action, not smeared hastily on as an afterthought. handing over the reins to younger fans works in a similar way that it did on American Wedding, or the Gibbons bros' crossmedia revitalisation of Alan Partridge, but can't get much deeper than Bad Boys already had room for. solid 3/10.

Literally every single trailer I saw before it was for a sequel or franchise flick though.

My brother sent a WhatsApp at 1am just to say that Emilio was gonna be in a mighty ducks tv show

xxp ha whoops!

I saw the trailer for peter rabbit 2 going to see the mr Rogers movies last night. I’m speechless it is absolutely dire and what it has to do with the beloved children’s book I don’t know.

mr McGregor buys a local footie team

My reaction to the Peter Rabbit movies is basically the same reaction I would've had if they'd cast Rob Schneider as Mr. Rogers.

luckily i'm busy with actual grown-up paid writing work currently (not enough! commission me ilx!) but as someone who as a kid read and reread the many dolittle books many many times i am kind of intrigued enough by this i'm guessing ghastly zombie franchise to want to watch it all from scratch and write it all up

(i saw the rex harrison as a kid and i guess quite liked it, i like that windward islands locals in st lucia's marigot bay keep bits of the shattered fragments of the giant pink sea snail as exotic-ironic decoration in their garden)

also this is terrible-great obv:

doctor doolittle is *the worst*, yet it contains cinema's greatest minute pic.twitter.com/nZRgY3Db9b

— 💎 Katie Stebbins 💎 (@_katiestebbins_) September 17, 2019

https://deadline.com/2020/02/honey-i-shrunk-the-kids-reboot-rick-moranis-1202858344/

Son is aspiring to be a great scientist like his father, but accidentally shrinks the kids.

Did u mean to post that in the 'depressing phrases' thraed

I mean...yay for the return of Moranis! But otherwise

Shrinking the kids is an intergenerational cycle.

All will be forgiven if they include one 'I learned it from watching you!' joke.

Funny that long-delayed "The Hunt" is finally being released, but "The Purge" series has just kept churning along, movies and tv.

Sonic did $58 million over the weekend, so expect next year's list to be that much more horrifying.

It got good reviews, not that I'll ever watch it.

Which is to say it got SOME good reviews, for a movie that looks like it should have received NO good reviews.

I for one welcome our new Sega Cinematic Universe. The Columns film gonna be off the hook.

Altered Beast: starring John Cena

lol i also immediately thought "an Altered Beast movie could be cool." but it's also something that really should have come out in the mid-90s, with effects and vibe basically equivalent to Spawn crossed with idk Dragonheart.

sonic v. shadow: genesis of megamix

Toejam & Earl featuring Jamie Kennedy and Seann William Scott, all practical make-up fx and unwieldy costumes. Let's make it happen.

most likely: an Ecco the Dolphin movie that just punts everything about its vibe and unfulfilled ambitions, and is just, yknow, a cgi kids movie about a dolphin

we need a grittier, sexier reboot of Sonic

Honic the Sedgehog

Sonic the Sex Doll

Sonic's Huge Hog

Hedgecock

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It's been done

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaztMwvFj7I

(Should say this is not technically NSFW, but it is an advert for porn, so might be technically NSFW)

Invisible Man was actually really good

yeah that's what I've heard.

the only possible bright point of Ghostbusters: Yesanotheronewhy is the presence of Paul Rudd

fuck off

The Invisible Man

did not know this was the bloke off Recovery's followup to Upgrade, absolutely gonna see it this week

No Time To Die, Peter Rabbit 2 and Mulan all postponed. Maybe it'll be COVID-19 that finally kills off the franchise era.

WORTH IT

i liked the invisible man. quite an experience in a movie theatre. don't watch the trailer, it gives away every big scene.

Except the success of TIM apparently has inspired Universal to take another crack at the Dark Universe: http://epicstream.com/news/TinyDiapana/Universal-Developing-New-Dracula-Movie-For-Its-Dark-Universe.

Scoob! has been dumped to VOD, and is apparently not merely bad, but another failed universe-starter:

I’m not really spoiling anything, but the movie switches from being a Scooby-Doo movie to a vehicle to introduce various “B” level Hanna Barbera characters. Scooby and Shaggy join forces with Blue Falcon and Dynomutt: The Dog Wonder to fight Dick Dastardly, who is hunting for three skulls that open Alexander the Great’s tomb and along the way they go to Dinosaur Island and fight Captain Caveman.

I will fight anyone who calls Dynomutt a B-level character.

Alexander the Great is totally A-level