Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

i sorta wish i'd voted for "Minions: The Rise of Gru." haven't seen any of these but if i'm not mistaken, this is the fifth film and Gru is the main character --- they're just now getting around to his rise?? it's a rare achievement for the fourth sequel to actually make all previous entries seem even more pointless, just by its title.

I haven't seen one second of anything Minion-related beyond trailers and the like but the entire enterprise just feels to me like an animated adaptation of chronic depression.

i've experienced both chronic depression and the minion movie and if i had to do one of them again i'd 100% choose the former over the latter

https://i.redd.it/3ty5ok8xsowz.jpg

Even in this bullshit field, anything with “the rise of” in the title is going to be extra bullshit

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51vd9xGPJ0L._SY445_.jpg

The Originator?

Should make a sequel to Dick called Rise of Dick

Any original property hoping to be a contender in this brave new world is gonna need to have the balls right out the gate to call itself ___ Part 1: The Rise of (character you've never heard of and about whose rise you have no reason to care).

Jungle Cruise 2: Rise of Ecks vs Sever

https://i.imgur.com/bhOWbK7.jpg

xxp Ready Player One did that. Spielberg truly is the preeminent director of our time

Chopin: Rise of The Boy Part III

I was v confused by Brahms the boy 2 but I was confusing the boy (which I know literally nothing about” with Disney’s the kid

The Rise of The Boy’s Kid

Closing a parenthetical with a quotation mark is what all the cool kids are doing in 20 btw

IIRC The Boy is a quasi-sequel to Disney's The Kid.

The K2d's Hitman's Bodyguard's Wife: The Boy

just chortled at the concept of old bastards being "boys" when I saw on the side of a bus.

― calzino, Thursday, January 16, 2020 8:32 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

they are "boys for life," which is bad

They get killed in this one and then have to fight crime in the aft- oh wait, been done

https://i.imgur.com/aFrPqaF.jpg

o shit waddup: rise of dat boi

Didn't even notice the Minions sequel, would have voted that. Probably my brain was trying to protect me. Minions must be among the top 5 worst movies I've seen in a theater

I saw Parasite yesterday in a packed 6:00pm screening and the previews were:
Ghostbusters Afterlife
Top Gun Maverick
some kind of Bourne-related tv show on amazon (doubly wtf)
Black Widow
In the Heights

I'm allergic to Lin Manuel Miranda's whole deal, but it seemed quasi-miraculous after the others. Part of Parasite's surprising success in N America must be related to how thoroughly demoralizing sitting through those trailers felt. Top Gun in particular played like a witless parody of the thread phenomenon.

This new Scooby-Doo looks like quite a departure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P8R2zAhEwg

ok lol

Yesterday I saw a trailer for Wonder Woman 1984 that makes me more optimistic--soundtracked to "Blue Monday" and featuring gloriously lol-80s graphic effects. I think I'm going to have to see this for the art direction if nothing else.

Studios will look at the success of Parasite and the failure of Terminator and they will still say, hmmm, looks like nobody has made a film adaptation of the beloved '80s sitcom Small Wonder, let us throw $800 million at that idea and see how much of it winds up straight in the toilet.

I saw that trailer too, but was disappointed that it had some weird version of Blue Monday with rock guitars. :(

(xpost)

US election

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjzVbTBF8o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBa9lELOOoo

Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

fuck off

Bad Boys for Life

watched this for free and: it's aight. the absence of Bay leaves the filmmmakers vaguely enabled to make the film about something and to not invade another country for lols. it's not about much: just aging, and growing apart, and the value of retaining some capability to change and adapt in your later years. but these themes are woven into the plot, events and action, not smeared hastily on as an afterthought. handing over the reins to younger fans works in a similar way that it did on American Wedding, or the Gibbons bros' crossmedia revitalisation of Alan Partridge, but can't get much deeper than Bad Boys already had room for. solid 3/10.

Literally every single trailer I saw before it was for a sequel or franchise flick though.

My brother sent a WhatsApp at 1am just to say that Emilio was gonna be in a mighty ducks tv show

xxp ha whoops!

I saw the trailer for peter rabbit 2 going to see the mr Rogers movies last night. I’m speechless it is absolutely dire and what it has to do with the beloved children’s book I don’t know.

mr McGregor buys a local footie team

My reaction to the Peter Rabbit movies is basically the same reaction I would've had if they'd cast Rob Schneider as Mr. Rogers.

luckily i'm busy with actual grown-up paid writing work currently (not enough! commission me ilx!) but as someone who as a kid read and reread the many dolittle books many many times i am kind of intrigued enough by this i'm guessing ghastly zombie franchise to want to watch it all from scratch and write it all up

(i saw the rex harrison as a kid and i guess quite liked it, i like that windward islands locals in st lucia's marigot bay keep bits of the shattered fragments of the giant pink sea snail as exotic-ironic decoration in their garden)

also this is terrible-great obv:

doctor doolittle is *the worst*, yet it contains cinema's greatest minute pic.twitter.com/nZRgY3Db9b

— 💎 Katie Stebbins 💎 (@_katiestebbins_) September 17, 2019

https://deadline.com/2020/02/honey-i-shrunk-the-kids-reboot-rick-moranis-1202858344/

Son is aspiring to be a great scientist like his father, but accidentally shrinks the kids.

Did u mean to post that in the 'depressing phrases' thraed

I mean...yay for the return of Moranis! But otherwise

Shrinking the kids is an intergenerational cycle.

All will be forgiven if they include one 'I learned it from watching you!' joke.

Funny that long-delayed "The Hunt" is finally being released, but "The Purge" series has just kept churning along, movies and tv.

Sonic did $58 million over the weekend, so expect next year's list to be that much more horrifying.

It got good reviews, not that I'll ever watch it.

Which is to say it got SOME good reviews, for a movie that looks like it should have received NO good reviews.

I for one welcome our new Sega Cinematic Universe. The Columns film gonna be off the hook.

Altered Beast: starring John Cena