no boys allowed in the room!!!!

My friend told me to stop contacting musician. I did. For an hour. Back to flirting. This is not gonna end well. Fuck this. Makes me feel crap and great at the same time.

J.Lu no guys messaging you? Facebook is like Tinder for me. Very weird. 🙄 I got three dick pics in about two weeks. Christ.

My friend told me to stop contacting musician. I did. For an hour. Back to flirting. This is not gonna end well. Fuck this. Makes me feel crap and great at the same time.

― nathom

my experience in such situations is that the "crap" considerably outlasts & outweighs the "great" :(

I know I know. :-(

xxpost Guys don't message me. I've never gotten a dick pic, unsolicited or otherwise. And in my current headspace, I'm convinced that this is another symptom of some mysterious mark of old maidishness.

(The more rational explanation is that I somehow maintain boundaries and self-respect of a nature that repels fuccbois. The problem is that I seem to also repulse the more decent and mature specimens of the gender.)

I've never gotten one either, jlu, and I did online dating for over 10 years although not on Tinder. Yeah I was gonna say, maybe they are correctly reading your level of intolerance for bullshit. Although I was primed for all the bullshit in those years, and I put up with a lot of nonsense. But no dick pics.

I thought people only fix up other people in movies?

I have also never received a dick pic unless it was from a gay friend sending me porn for discussion.

I don’t take offense at these pics. And they quickly realize it doesn’t impress me. They flirt and I don’t mind. But I rarely if ever engage. I have quite a few who have shown interest. But eh. Especially when it’s based on my love for music. Except now this one guy. Don’t know how this escalated so quickly. We’ll see where it goes.

Guys don't message me. I've never gotten a dick pic, unsolicited or otherwise

if it makes you feel any better (or worse) one of nathom's 3 recent ones is from the same person I got one from a number of months ago -- I would be shocked if he wouldn't extend the gesture to you as well ...

🤮

Lol. Yep. 🙄 I was not impressed.

Decided not to obsess over married musician. Even when he tells me how much he loves me, asks what I want for our first dinner,... I decided, fuck it, stop obsessing and see this as a really great friendship. He is suuuuper sweet.

https://i.imgur.com/rVC4huj.jpg

I thought if I never got that first cat I couldn't become a crazy cat lady, right? Life, uh, found a way. This is Baby, one of my mother's cats, and she is a SPOILED BRAT. She constantly yells to be fed, tries to help herself to anything I'm eating or drinking, and bit me on the nose one morning when I wouldn't get up and feed her.

So I suppose it's appropriate that I'm feeling the effects of what I assume is perimenopause--my last period didn't properly end so much as diminish to a trickle over the last two weeks. I suppose I ought to contact my doctor, but I expect to be told it's part of the Mysteries of Menopause, and can't be treated other than with powerful hormones and/or major surgery. I don't even mind it that much, except I continue to live in hope of finally meeting a man who DOESN'T retreat when I try to show interest, and maybe getting laid once more.

[Nathom: My instinct is to tell you to stay away from married men. But I've never known what to do with men, other than keep them at arm's length.]

Oh wow that’s a beautiful cat!!!

She sheds enough to make a new cat every three days. But she has surprisingly few hairballs for such a longhaired cat. And I had to physically remove her from my computer desk to make this post. But sometimes I'll be watching a movie on my laptop, and she'll snuggle up between me and the computer and purr.

Just want to say that is a beautiful tortoiseshell cat! Ours is similarly bratty and demanding, but she’s so cute I can’t hold it against her. She’s tiny and bullies everyone in the house, including her brother, who’s twice her size.

Bumping cos I’m sure we’ve done this before but think I have accumulated even more shit last time. Want to discuss what people carry around with them day to day cos my mother picked up my bag the other day and was shocked at the weight of it. So yeah, in terms of my literal baggage:

- water bottle (stainless steel)
- foldaway reusable coffee cup
- 7 different lip balms
- portable charger
- 4 cables to charge this plus every other device I have
- 2 plugs
- Music player(I can and do listen to music on the phone but this holds more and I use the phone for sampling). Plus I’d rather use my phone space on pictures.
- face wipes
- moisturiser
- the usuals (keys/wallet/phone)
- hairbrush
- paracetamol
- tweezers
- sometimes a kindle
- sometimes my headphones (usually I wear these)
- deodorant
- tissues
- menstrual supplies

My mother thinks this is a ludicrous amount of stuff BUT as a commuter who is forever on packed and noisy trains, to me most of this stuff is essential, esp if delayed. Plus on more than one occasion I’ve been able to help someone out with a charge, so useful not just to me.

Tell me about the stuff you carry for day to day survival, even if just not to make me feel like a terrible hoarder?

Btw j.lu if you don’t have an undercoat brush for her already you should get on, it’s the best way to groom her of hairs shed and ours absolutely loves it (though probably because I’m paying her attention).

i bought a giant purse so i can throw anything i want in there - the large stuff (like shoes and soda cans) gets taken out when not necessary, but the rest just sort of accumulates in the bottom.

really enjoying seeing the guys (some non-guys have been brave enough to post, but really it's mostly guys) pontificate on whether or not "physical attractiveness" is important over in that other thread

I work from home a lot, and when I work elsewhere, I drive there -- though I don't keep much in my car because of potential theft. Just wanted to preface this list in a way to in no means make you feel like a hoarder

- house keys
- car key
- cigarettes and lighter
- wallet
- spare tampon
- two different lip balms
- one lipstick
- handkerchief
- car registration paper
- phone
- iPod
- one or two pens

xpost that seems like a lot of extra stuff but if you use it and you are fine carrying it around, keep on!

I can't carry a lot in my bag anymore because it starts to annoy my lower back. So even the compact umbrella gets left behind unless it will be raining hard.

wallet, keys, phone
tampons
pens
comb
reusable tote
headlamp
emergency face mask (they handed these out at work)
kindle
one lip balm
2 loose emergency advil in my wallet

I should probably add a small bottle of spf in there now that I am thinking about it.

I keep a comb by my computer and use it on Baby when it occurs to me to do so. She loves the attention. But that doesn't keep her from yacking up hairballs on the rug.

Standard items in my purse: Wallet, phone, personal keys, office keys on a lanyard, 2 folding reusable shopping bags, sunglasses in a case, contact lens case in a small designated coin purse, tampons in a small designated coin purse, lip balm, gum, bus pass (in a leather holder with an emergency bill hidden inside), a handkerchief, a tangle of pens and emery boards, and probably the receipt from my last restaurant meal. I've taken to carrying a second (canvas) bag, to hold a couple more reusable shopping bags, an umbrella, a book and/or a magazine, and my lunch if it's a weekday and I don't have my gym bag. I have long bus rides most days and must have something to read.

I am feeling adolescent in the worst way. I am longing to lash out in some way, and don't know what to do because I have always been such a good girl. Officially I don't take Valentine's Day "and other Hallmark-driven holidays" seriously, but there's a fuckton of sour grapes underneath that.

i bought a giant purse so i can throw anything i want in there - the large stuff (like shoes and soda cans) gets taken out when not necessary, but the rest just sort of accumulates in the bottom.

really enjoying seeing the guys (some non-guys have been brave enough to post, but really it's mostly guys) pontificate on whether or not "physical attractiveness" is important over in that other thread

@Yerac what is a headlamp in a non-miner context?!

I like having my hands free when I need a light so I don't like using the light on phones. I like to have it in case like, the subway goes out and have to walk in the tunnels. That is my fantasy use case. Realistically, I have used it when I went walking and got lost and stuck in someone's random field at night and in parking garages when someone has had engine trouble and we had to pop the hood. Also I pull it out if the lights go out at home so I can do stuff that needs two hands. Like I made fresh pasta once while wearing it.

I originally bought it for camping. But it's very useful for any situation you could need someone else to hold a flashlight for you.

the thing about my purse is that i _also_ still carry around a bookbag from before my transition and i keep other things (laptop, headphones, lunch, papers) in that

i'm just not really sure that a lot of the guys in that thread are in a place where they can unpack all the gendered baggage around personal presentation, and i figure i will just leave them alone to do their thing rather than jumping into yet another thread with my Trans Shit.

xxp your life posts always intrigue me and this hasn’t changed that at all.

@rush yeah it’s very different. I posted in some other thread once about where I was getting attention from men around 11/12 (not a brag; they were nonces), so it’s something you sort of get to be aware of younger than you should :|

i had one (but didn't always have it when needed) when I did A/V and video projection stuff -- it was super useful to troubleshoot cabling and signal flow and computer/tech settings in dark rooms.

xxp - when I was "butch" I didn't carry a purse or bag because I viewed that as too femme-y, so I would keep all the things in my pockets -- yes, I rocked the chain wallet. So, I think because of gender stuff I am used to not carrying many things in my now gender presentation acceptable purse

I have a commuter backpack that I use to travel sometimes. I think about using it instead of a purse. But I remember wearing backpacks when I was younger and one time at a show I felt a dude behind me start to open it up and that probably has put me off from wearing one day to day. I totally caught him while he was in the middle of doing it and he fucking put his hands up in apology.

Ha, I have tried to lighten up my extremely butch black pleather and chrome ~manbag~ because I've been having back issues, but I still regularly carry

-hat
-headphones (also double as noise excluders)
-lunchbag
-reusable shopping bag
-menstrual product
-antibacterial wet wipes
-dry tissues
-umbrella (I need to replace this as it is a quite large and heavy German one, not a tiny lightweight British pocket one)
-hand cream
-change purse
-comb
-pen
-pencil
-ibuprofen
-allergy tablets
-Wallet
-work pass
-matches (I don't even smoke, they're just useful)
-oyster card in special holder

I know that I say this every time we have this conversation, but the big difference isn't the amount carried, it's spacial awareness. I see cis men on the Tube carrying backpacks easily three times the size of my messenger bag. But the thing is, I am always aware of where my bag is, and how much space it is taking up, and I take care to move it so that it does not impact those around me. But I get routinely beaten up and bruised by cis men who act in total disregard, not just of what space *they* are using, but even more disregard of the fact that they are carrying something the size and weight of a spare tire behind them, and it fucking hurts if you turn around without checking if anyone is in the way. Even on the most packed Tube trains, I am rarely hit by women's purses (and when I am, I am usually quite convinced it's probably deliberate. But I've been sideswiped by those enourmous backpacks on an empty train.

- phone
- wallet
- makeup bag with the essentials
- tiny hairbrush
- planner
- sunglasses case with sunglasses
- headphones
- lint roller
- pen case with a variety of pens
- small muji notebook
- two hair clips
- one tampon
- keys

I'm not even touching the attractiveness post which I see has died an aborted and fitting death at the bottom of SNA.

Like I made fresh pasta once while wearing it.

― Yerac, Tuesday, February 11, 2020 6:45 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Yerac, you are the best. ilu

Personally I recalibrate my bag size & contents p much every day as needed for whatever I'm doing, tending toward as small as possible. None of my possessions are a headlamp, sadly.

For Valentine's Day, my bf named a hissing Madagascar cockroach after me at the Bronx Zoo, because "candlelight fades, roses wilt, but roaches are forever." So as you can see this whole relationship thing is nothing but lovey dovey smooches all the way.

Now I’m just imagining Shirley Bassey singing Roaches are Forever

There are also socks. Cockroach socks. I'm not sure I can stand to wear them tbh.

https://newsroom.wcs.org/dnnimagehandler.ashx?mode=file&file=/Portals/164/roach%20bundle.jpg&w=785&h=500&resizemode=crop

Wear it as part of Tracy Turnblad cosplay?

I in no way understand that reference, although Google says something about Hairspray?

I'm not working right now but I might be a little bit depressed/in recovery/lazy? I'm not really doing enough but also it just rains every day and I have 5 years of going-to-horrible-job to make up for. My couch is getting a workout.

Here's one for the thread: I've been using the same cheapo Jordana lip gloss for like 10 years because it was the perfect non-metallic peach color and my skin doesn't react to it. A couple of years ago it was discontinued, so I ordered cases, like 50 tubes, and it has lasted me until now. All other lip glosses make my lips chap and split. I can't use Rose's or Burt's Bees or shea butter or any mainstream drugstore glosses I've tried. WTF AM I GOING TO DO?

My best-ever favorite perfect mascara was also discontinued some years ago (Fresh Supernova). What are these beauty brands trying to DO to me??!

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41vSjHLhL0L._SX425_.jpg

xp which one, in orbit?

The product line was called Lip Out Loud. You could find it on ebay etc for a while but I think it's all gone now. I've looked at the ingredients list and tbph it's FULL of chemicals, but somehow it worked for me!

There should be a skincare/cosmetics app where you input the product names of things your skin hates or loves and the app spits out a list of ingredients they have in common so you can figure what you need to avoid

those are very cute cockroach presents.

I can only use Rose's (the original formula). I feel like the super cheapo revlon creme lipsticks and maybe Labello/Nivea used to be ok for me. I've been on some forums where people have been trying to figure out the common ingredient in balms and lipsticks that people are allergic to. I thought it was mineral oil at first.
That app idea is very good. I've been on an endless cycle of the skin around my mouth being very bad because of the layers of spf I have been wearing.

Is it sorbet?

BTW?

Best spf I’ve used is the Mimitika one for face.

For lips - overnight I use Dr. Bronner’s ALL ONE ginger and orange lip balm (ALL ONE). Lip stuff tends to make my mouth go mushy and horrible but that one works really well for some reason. Daytime, I got a free one of these, which I will likely never be moved to replace because it’s so expensive for what it is, but it is amazing: https://www.cultbeauty.co.uk/odacite-adventurine-kiss-lip-serum-vitamin-c-coq-10.html

i had been trying to use up these two bottle of la roche posay spf 50 anthelios line but then I realized they aren't water resistant. So have been having to put other stuff on top.

xp IT IS BTW OMG am I going to end up importing my $2 lip products from the EU?? STAY TUNED.

Thank you! :D :D :D

There should be a skincare/cosmetics app where you input the product names of things your skin hates or loves and the app spits out a list of ingredients they have in common so you can figure what you need to avoid

― just1n3, Wednesday, February 12, 2020 7:18 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Heeeeey! I just stumbled over https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/ which might sort of do that? I'm searching now, it seems somewhat limited in what brands it carries but you can look for any ingredient by which brands include it.

I don't get these guys. Someone just sent me this link and I thought all these guys end up just going to the philippines. I just took his compatibility questionnaire which is like a choose your own adventure.

http://findingmyrepublicangoddess.com/

for those of you who don't remove hair from your legs, or who go a while without doing so -- how does that interact with dry skin stuff during winter? Better or worse?

Hmm I'm getting stuck on the shipping address, it won't let me proceed.

xxp Yiiiiiiiiiiiikes

xp I shave extremely inconsistently and I apply lotion after every shower. No issues. Why, what's happening for you?