Least promising Sequel/Remake/Franchise Flick of 2020

Mulan, between the director of Whale Rider and the trailer's indications that it will not be a musical with a wisecracking dragon sidekick, has a good chance of being the best movie on this list! be a bummer if it is indeed really good but nobody goes because of their experience of these other disney remakes. less of a bummer if that brings an end to that project, but c'mon, that's not gonna happen til they run out of viable properties for it (which might actually happen soon enough).

recently rewatched the original Freaky Friday and THAT is something that should basically be remade for every generation of teenagers: great premise, but no particular incidents or characters or songs that you'd "have" to include and inevitably ruin.

tempted to vote for New Mutants out of tradition but there's a lot of dreck here. Ghostbusters looks particularly awful but it's at the disadvantage of its unappealing trailer already being out. i gotta think about this one.

How many more of these remakes are they going to make? Hercules I guess, Pocahontas too.

Next up apparently are Peter Pan, The Sword in the Stone, Pinocchio and The Little Mermaid as well as some live action spin offs like Cruella, Tink and Rose Red

i doubt very much they'll do Pocahontas. somebody (Lindsay Ellis maybe?) made the case that Moana let them stealth-remake everything you'd really want to remake about that story, and flip the script on all the really uncomfortable historical overtones... makes sense to me.

Knew about The Little Mermaid, suspected Pinocchio was coming, though it's kinda funny that there's two or three other Pinocchio projects underway iirc. Peter Pan of course! The last one did so well. The Sword in the Stone sounds horrible...

http://www.killermovies.com/images/movies/Pinocchio_screenshot_001.jpg

The Little Mermaid may wind up being the final nail in this particular coffin (for dumb and sad and racist reasons).

where are my fellow Croodheads

― frogbs, Monday, 6 January 2020 18:26 (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

the first one is not good but it has some surprisingly trippy visuals

Those 'visuals' were actually just a trick of the senses as portions of your brain were being destroyed from exposure to The Croods.

The only live action Little Mermaid anyone needs is The Lure.

Pinocchio will be played by Justin Bieber

"Yesterday 2 - Yesterday's Papers..."

About a young singer/songwriter who wakes up and realizes nobody knows the Eagles's music...and lives the rest of his life happy that the Eagles no longer exist

Mulan at least has the promise of nice costumes. Some of these films cant even muster that much promise.

Has anyone seen the 2009 Mulan? Looks like a boring epic but would be interested to hear any experiences.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eQBl3_6FKA&feature=emb_title

hmmm, dud link but that should be the teaser trailer for MORBIUS (2020)

Apparently Sony has decided to start making their unnecessary Spidey-adjacent projects more MCU-adjacent, so Keaton's Vulture is in this thing.

Why u do this to me, Sony.

this looks great, can't wait to torrent it

What If? the first shot of Blade remake is Mahershala burying a stake in Leto's chest? Like over and over for twenty minutes?

Brahms: The Boy II

^^
who gives a fugue?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

voted Dolittle, respect to Hugh Lofting

saw the peter rabbit 2 trailer in front of little women -- wtf, sony

Can I just say I much more enjoy this stage of proceedings than the bit where, later in the year, half these films get their own threads and people start to unnaccountably say positive things about them?

a quick squiz at last year's list and it seems this only (mainly?) happened with Marvel flicks and the Star War

Yeah, I'm gonna be real surprised if more than like 3% of these things get the ILX 'I somehow refrained from scooping out my eyes!' seal of approval.

Our second least promising S/R/F flick of 2019 is a Best Picture nominee.

Universal release schedule for the first half of 2020 is just really fuckin funny to me. pic.twitter.com/qJRhADXR3J

— 𝕮𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕲𝖊𝖙 𝕸𝖊, 𝕮𝖔𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘 (@NickPinkerton) January 14, 2020

I wish it was actually called Ninth Chapter in Fast & Furious Saga, just like that

Oof. That shit is like the movie studio equivalent of drunkenly flipping through yr high school year book and weeping copiously over all your unrequited crushes.

Gotta check out all the new chapters

Isn't it generally true that sequels make less money than earlier installments? Isn't a slate comprised of nothing but basically just courting likely failure?

Let's see, choosing something with a built in audience that will provide a more predictable return than starting fresh with a new idea.

Sequels are cinematic money market funds

Haha, looks like the Dolittle embargo just lifted.

I want a separate review for that awful bloated "What a Wonderful World" cover

Once the film wears out jokes with dog Jip (voiced by Tom Holland), discussing butts and scooting on the floor, you’d think the film would’ve reached its capacity. But no, there’s still more in store, as the film stoops to include a disgruntled tiger (Ralph Fiennes) getting kicked in the crotch and a dragon (Frances de la Tour) getting an enema.

sounds like a winner

Proctologist Dolittle

The question remains: why, Robert? Why?

OL, I believe that was true once upon a time, but hasn't been the case for a while -- maybe since the home video era made it easier for people who didn't catch the first one theatrically to catch up? not sure. But if you look at year by year lists of the top 20 box office performers, it's gonna be sequels and remakes and franchise flicks out the wazoo.

I'm already eagerly anticipating 2Little

I mean there's definitely some blockbuster franchises that are consistently big business. I just want so badly to live in a world where the 18th movie featuring the Minions is an obvious act of suicidal desperation rather than a surefire jackpot.

on the bright side, a dragon farts in Downey's face

https://www.slantmagazine.com/film/review-dolittle-like-its-animals-is-flashy-but-dead-behind-the-eyes/

A Thing Made Animate through the Use of Computers 4: Ring-a-Ding-Ding broke box office records this weekend, as audiences were once again spellbound by a screen full of screaming and shitting things screamed and shat throughout the uncanny valley for 75 minutes until the film abruptly cut to credits and a brand new Kelly Clarkson song vaguely related to things that have been animated.

I know everyone hates South Park now but I can't help keep thinking of the "Duck President" bit when I see new trailers for awful kids' films.

The amount of care I put into constructing that POS sentence is roughly equivalent to what you can expect from the stewards of A Thing 4.

Duck President and the related trailers are super otm. 'Or a dog. Whatever. Fuck you!'

I wish any of these would be 75 minutes

Why are there dragons in Dr. Dolittle?

Dr. Dolittle! He talks to the animals! And dragons, for some reason? Why are there dragons? Fuck you, that's why!