misheard lyrics

True in so many ways.

The mohel of the merchant ships
Minutes after they took
Foreskin from the penis

It's all i ever had

broadcast it: revolution don't pay
shacked up freaks on a lazarus plane
and i can just by your client, and i can tell you bide your style
i was born to raise some venus, i'll be mating here awhile
a meta-super-sonic jerk-off who forged into the game
a nearly sub-atomic genius who just deserves to pay
i will die nigh you, i will die nigh you, baby

Can I Graduate
Can I look into the faces that I meet,
Can I get my podcast off the street,
I've been living on for so long

Doolally - “Straight From The Heart”

Show me that big sloppy dick! Show, baby, yeah yeah!

I was listening to Radiohead play "Just" on their recent concert stream, a song I hadn't heard in aaages, and I realised I didn't know whether the line in the last verse was "teach you how to get to purest hell" or "teach you how to get to purist hell". I think the second one is pretty funny.

Glorified version of a pelican

Always keep it low fed!

I'm not sure we can say with 100% certainty that Stereolab's 'Plastic Mile' doesn't contain the line 'twisty penis hand'

From 'Cherub Rock': Who wants that hiney?

Junior Byles, "Curly Locks"

"Curly Locks
Your father is a *pork chop"

The real lyric appears to be 'Pope chap', which is, in itself, pretty weird.

I thought it was poacher!

LOL, it might be! I thought Pope Chap was a dismissive Rasta name for a Catholic - given that they really do not like Catholics very much.

As long as we live
You're chewin' me, baby
There ain't nothin' wrong with that

dissed on the setlist!
the nude drunk drivers!

And when I felt like I was a narcotic and under someone's bed

Just remembered another from when I was a kid:

Animals like Cheerios and
They feel the heat, the heat between me and you

(I think Al Jarreau's 'Mornin'' had given me the false impression that Cheerios were a common reference in pop songs.)

That's really good.

For a long time I thought "And She Was" included this line:

And she was lying in the grass
And she could hear the highway breathing
And she could see an earmuff factory
She's making sure she is not dreaming

My (now)wife laughed at me for that, but then we discovered that her version of "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues" went as follows

Laughing like children
Living like lovers
Rolling like flounder

haha my Doves Cry mishear was

“Add the most tri-curious poses...”

Which, come on, it’s a pretty believable Prince lyric

Xzibit, Paparazzi: "I don't believe the hype about Wolf Dickens"

I'd never heard of wolf (woof?) tickets (still not sure about them tbh); never heard of wolf dickens either obv but I figured he was just some rapper that xzibit had beef with.

"Night and day, uuh, stopping off at you, boy" (Chic, 'Le Freak')

Would never have guessed that it was a jazz reference: "Like the days of stompin' at the Savoy"

alan alda's all we are

― reggie (qualmsley), Wednesday, June 28, 2017 5:23 PM (three years ago)

Nah, I'm pretty sure it's "Oh no, Zoe goes"

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about the science pope
Don't know much about the French-eyed pope

Indiana Wants Me by R Dean Taylor was playing on an oldies station the other day. My wife was under the impression he was singing "In the end of Wall Street".

Meanwhile, my dad thought for years that Oliver's Army was in fact called I Love A Zombie.

My mate, back when, thought the Dr Feelgood track "Milk and Alcohol" was a song about Al Capone

Always thought "Like to Get to Know You" by Spanky and our gang went

Well I'd like to eat yr butthole
Yrs i would
Well I'd like to eat yr Butthole
If i could

Well do I have some good news for you

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about the science pope
Don't know much about the French-eyed pope

― OrificeMax (Old Lunch), Tuesday, October 27, 2020 11:20 PM (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This has been making be laugh for a good couple of days

Look, I said I didn't know much about history.

Oh yeah, I also remembered the other day that, for an embarrassingly long time, I thought the line in the Friends theme song was 'your love life's the old way'.

We share the same biology
Regardless of our geology

my friend was convinced that Metallica's Unforgiven went

"new blood joins this earth
and quickly he's subdued
to constipate his grace
the young boy learns their rules"

Not so much misheard as mis-scanned, but in 'Laughing' by the Guess Who, I just realized I've long heard

You took away everything I had
You put the hurt on me

as

You took away everything
I had you put the hurt on me

So I guess it's not a song about sado-masochism after all.

OH, Neanderthal's Metallica post reminds me (and I thought for sure I'd posted this before but I guess not in this thread) that I used to think the opening lines of 'Enter Sandman' were

Say your prayers
It's a won-
-derful gift, my son
To include everyone

'Say your prayers, little one' obvs

“I walk in Coleraine, with my telescope in my hand…”

for years I thought the Mr Belvedere theme began

"Streets on-a China
Never met him before"

so I spent childhood thinking that Bob Uecker found Mr Belvedere on the streets of China and took him back to the US to be his butler

hard lol

There were plenty of lyrics in Christmas songs that never made any goddamn sense to me as a kid (or even now, tbph) so it never occurred to me to question who Crispin Even was or how the snow got deep inside of him.

real heads know it's all about Deep In Crispin Even 3

I recall now upon hearing the song that there was a brief window of time when I thought the lyrics were

Find your tenderoni
Tenderonious, all right

flappy bird at 1:12 19 Jun 18
Aqua sea foam shame
Sunburned freezer burn
Choking on the ashes of a renerade

lol i thought it was aqua sea foam shame until...right now

oh n/m it is lol

I mean it has to be literally hundreds of times that I've heard the song over the past thirty years, and I'm only just now realizing that the line in 'Outshined' is not 'the grass is always greener where the dogs are shedding'?!?!?!

I think it’s meant to sound like what you thought it was, but the lyrics booklet gives plausible deniability for a Parental Advisory loophole, perhaps? (I’ve never seen a cover with the label at any rate.)

OHHHH, thank you! I'm not a complete dipshit. The lyrics sheet totally says 'shedding' and I was credulous enough to believe what it told me when I pored over that thing a million times. Plus it wasn't bleeped on MTV.

Soundgarden were definitely the kind of band to toe that line, they were/are very wry and self-aware MFers.