Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"these car rental people don't know the meaning of the word 'legroom' do they?"

"these harsh interrogation techniques are torture on your highway milage"

"I'm not exactly sure how they took the news but they said they'd give us 'a sign'"

"maybe it's in my other pants"

"I've always hated Rush Week."

"back in my day, we didn't have to travel to a sustainable fishery"

lotsa mileage in the torture angle npi

"Don't get me wrong, I love these family reunions - I just wish Mitt wouldn't act like he's better than the rest of us."

"I dunno...did you leave the gas on maybe?"

"Hey Mario, you know what I hate? When the picture for a caption competition is fucking lame. Also - Jews."

"I spy with my little eye something that rhymes with 'shoe left the hostage on the roof, idiot'."

"Porco Dio! Che disgraziata!"

"after the administration banned waterboarding we weren't left with many options"

Thinking of some "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day" gag but I can't place it

"i think it qualifies as a 'stress position,' yes"

"You wanna know where he is? Hit the brakes and I'll tell you..."

"I got the idea from Mitt Romney"

(Alternately: "Hey, if it was good enough for Mitt Romney's dog...")

"I'm not sure if this is what the boss meant by 'thinking outside the box'"

hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa I had forgotten about Mittens and his dog adventures

"Now we just look for an overpass" would also work

"Look Tony, it's not that I don't like it, but I live in a 3rd floor studio - where am I going to put it?"

"This was a lot easier before they transferred us to Utah"

^^ wait, substitute a dry state that does not have a gigantic well-known lake

Arizona

lake havasu, bro

why did i even post that

"I'm all for offering them a final meal, but next time NO BURRITOS"

"So much for 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'."

"Do you think this will count as 'something borrowed' or 'something blue'?"

"in the trunk, complain, in the backseat, complain. I try to be reasonable but I've had it with this guy."

"She lies and says she's in love with him; can't find a betterman..."

"At least we still have our dignity."

"don't worry, kid. it happened on my first time, too. you keep hearing the screams for a while afterwards, but eventually you get over it. here, have some slurpee."

http://i41.tinypic.com/2rzzb4y.jpg

"now that you mention it, the whistling sound *is* kind of irritating"

"The third film was by some margin the darkest of the Weekend at Bernie's trilogy."

the burrito joke is supported by the fact that if you look at the drawing, there ARE sort of fart lines

"he is soaking his feet in epsom salts"

"Forget about the past, Malone, and start thinking about the approaching overpass."

"I'm sorry, but I'm getting really tired of people telling me how great the wire is"

okay, feeling that one.

"Christ, I'm going not going to be able to close my eyes tonight without seeing a twitching bushy tail."

was gonna add "besides, I'm more of a sopranos guy" but thought it would be overkill

xp

"The Sopranos is SO much better than the Wire" would be a good contender if the voting audience consisted entirely of 20- and 30-something transplanted Brooklynites

"i'll admit the look on his face is priceless, but i still wonder if we shouldn't have just hired a stripper"

"i'm actually an electrician by trade, i just do this for fun"

"Christ, I'm going not going to be able to close my eyes tonight without seeing a twitching bushy tail."

― W i l l, Monday, June 22, 2009 1:16 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest

haha

forks & goole had good ones too

Burrito and live in a studio/what am I gonna do with it are my favorites so far.